Time is fleeting, life is passing, and I'm stuck and stranded on a lonely Island

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by auzzie_mikey, Jun 14, 2014.

  1. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Man I just started another reboot and after reading this I feel like it's going to be a lifelong battle for me
  2. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Member

    day 47 and again another horrible day for me in withdrawals.

    Was just thinking right now the hottest girls don't even matter to me, my beautiful car that i bought recently dosnt matter to me, my parents, friends. I don't give a fuck or feel good about anything. That is a true sign of withdrawals when nothing feels good.

    Last few months been fucking girls and I was so crazy and confident behind girls but now any girl I dont give 2 fucks about. 2 girls messaging me at the moment and I don't really care about fucking them or meeting up with them. I just want to recover 100% from these shitty mental symptoms and then I'll even think about doing real sex in life. Gotta recover first myself.

    Day 47... im hoping by day 80 my symptoms improve and get better... we'll see how it goes and take one step at a time.

    Gotta crystallise NO PMO for life for NOW, so no more withdrawals in the future!!!!
  3. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Member

    day 52

    at work and today has been ok. withdrawals clearing slowly and mind is clearest it has been all throughout these 52 days. I don't know if it will last. but just fingers crossed that it'll get slowly better from now. fingers crossed....

    feeling a lot better and clear mind.. just enjoying the moment.

    need to monitor this and see how it goes
  4. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Member

    yeah today can confirm in the afternoon and evening withdrawals still there, weirdness and anxiety still there... quite fucked... gotta see how it works out... hmm... quite disappointing but yeah life goes on...
  5. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Member

    Day 55,

    yeah weirdness and withdrawals are still there, I don't wash my face, don't care about my hair, they are filled with dandruff and everything. Dont even care about shaving my beard. Once I start appreciating these things and enjoying life once again, thats when my withdrawals will disappear.

    I've just been thinking that my own happines and life matters more than any girl or sex in this world. I've made a pact that I need to probably stay clean for 2 years or whatever completely away from PMO, no MO and then i'll see benefits. In this withdrawals, i've missed my own ability being happy and just myself all this time. Honestly, npt going to pursue chicks, just be to myself and protect myself once the presence returns so strong. I never want these withdrawals to return again.

    I was reading through last year's journal and stuff and I realised that I stay with this addiction when I'm feeling bad and then once I get fine again, I forget about the true cause. The fact that I have withdrawals 2nd year in a row, means its a real addiction. Every little brick and drop counts to making this life a life full of happiness and complete joy. My life has been hit with many hurdles. During this horrible withdrawal, I am still doing full-time work and full-time studies. I will not surrender, and keep my efforts up to the highest point and keep hustling hard. Cause I will never give up.

    One life focus baby. Always remember what is at the core and what is most important.

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