Time is fleeting, life is passing, and I'm stuck and stranded on a lonely Island

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by auzzie_mikey, Jun 14, 2014.

  1. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    Man last night I slept 9 hours, yet still feeling so exhausted and not good at all. BEtween July 2015 - Feb 2018, when I wasn't feeling withdrawals, I slept 8 hours a day and felt so energetic and so motivated all day evryday. It only points to PMO addiction withdrawals.
  2. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Hi Mikey,

    It is a positive thing though that you have identified this addiction as the cause for your symptoms. Since I started on this journey, I haven't experienced any significant change in symptoms, with the exception of subtle shades. For the reasons I have explained in my journal, I am still not entirely sure mine are mainly due to this addiction. Also many of the symptoms I have were present before I started to gain lasting abstinence from porn and masturbation. The key difference was that I was experiencing a greater emotional variety even though my emotions were erratic. I could change from positive highs to the lowest of the lows. I am keeping my lines of investigation open and doing what I feel helps
  3. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    Day 46

    Suffering heavy withdrawals. The symptoms are slightly better but still awkwardness is there.

    In this streak I haven't had any temptation to even go to PMO. While urges were there I didn't feel like resorting to P due to my current withdrawals.

    Was speaking to friend and we are both in our Mid 20s. To keep suffering and continuing life like this is miserable and horrible.

    I've been watching this video of all famous people keeping away from pmo.

    Made a decision to continue a porn free life from today.
  4. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    Day 61

    Last 2 days mind was okay. Felt better than other days. Still clarity wasn't there in understanding the material at university that much.

    But today in the evening the withdrawals just took a sharp turn and brain fog kicked in.

    As I was discussing with a friend, this is withdrawals and I just have to weather out the storm and stay calm.

    Only best thing I can do is focus on this journey and make it for life. I've really thought long and hard this time.

    I regularly keep reading a very special post twice a day so I don't relapse and can consciously think of the repercussions.

    The worst is this current withdrawals I am facing. These withdrawals are just a temporary phase and a solemn reminder that this PMO is far from over.

    RebornAgain has gone in this journey 3 years clean. I have the requisite knowledge, now must breath it and live it.

    No more, enough is enough. TIme to read the post for the second time now, as late night here is the most vulnerable and dangerous time for me.

  5. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    Day 80

    Withdrawals are starting to go away. Clarity is much more there. Presence is alot stronger and I can see the good days already.

    This process works. Honestly guys, I am so thankful for this no PMO journey. Socialising and motivation is also getting much better now. Anxiety, brain fog, tiredness and withdrawals slowly starting to disappear. I can feel it. Light at the end of the tunnel is appearing! HURRAAYYYYYYYY

    Its easier to do work and easier to understand things. Presence I've noticed is ALOT more stronger, clarity is SOOOO MUCH MORE.
  6. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Excellent stuff, Mikey. Glad to hear that things are getting better for you. Keep on the good work
  7. RebornAgain

    RebornAgain Beating my addiction one day at a time.. Staff Member

    Nice job Mikey. One day at a time and one small victory at a time. You’ll win the war.
  8. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    I always remember how you stayed clean man for so long. I am trying my hardest to keep 100% clean now... Need to come to my prime 100%...
  9. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    Day 88

    Almost at Day 90! Day 90 is nothing for me. Welcome to an entire lifetime to without PMO. That is wat I am aiming for.

    Everyday and every second of my day is focused on keeping clean. Every single moment. I can feel it ooze in my blood and veins and every single heartbeat.

    Now that superpowers are here, I will do anything to keep this with me. When I go to public, I look down always, don't even stare at girls or look around.

    At home, I read the post and remember the journey, what is at stake. I remember 24/7 what withdrawals I have experienced.

    Will do anything and fucking everything to keep in this journey and to keep this god-like mode what I have right NOW. FUARKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
  10. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    Day 90
    Just gotta stay calm and aware. I'm aware at this stage. Nothing big of an achievement. This 90 day marks, that I suffered 3 months of turmoil from February 2018 - May 2018. 3 months of absolute hell and torture. Gotta keep on this streak to avoid withdrawals and further pain.

  11. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Well-Known Member

    Auzzie-mikey did youbface insomnia when you initailly quit?
    Also didbyoubhave semen or precum leakage?
    Did you pennis got shrivelled?
    Did you have sunkwn eyes, dull face, loss of muscles from hands, baldness popping out, pains in neck and back?
  12. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    No I never faced insomnia when I quit.

    When I had withdrawals, I did have sunken eyes all the time, I can see them in the mirror... dull face and yes can see that overall vitality is very low. Now that I am feeling better, I can see myself in the mirror much more confidently.
    Eyes are alot more brighter now.

    You gotta stay in this battle man. Gotta give it for once and for all.
  13. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Well-Known Member

    Yes but I have terrible insomnia. I don't know why. I m already on day 83. I have to take clonazepam to fall asleep but again I wake up with no energy. What about the rest of the symptoms?
    Like shriveled pennis etc that I mentioned earlier don't you had them?
  14. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

  15. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    Day 98

    Just sort of stabilising at the moment. Can actively and consciously feel the urges.

    Just taking deep breaths and keep reading my post to remember this journey is now for a life-time. Never ever to ever give into this temptation again. Let me die due to the extreme amount of urges,but I will not surrender this white flag this time
  16. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Keep on going my friend, you're doing brilliantly. Hell is the price to pay for short term gratification. It will all be marvellous for a split second, and then you will get hit by suicidal despair and depression once the deed is done.
  17. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    Words of wisdom my friend. I have copied your words into my daily readings that I read. I read it this morning when urges were too high.

    Must be aware and conscious at all times.
  18. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Well-Known Member

    I feel you are lucky at least you are having urges. I m feeling asexual on 87 th day.
  19. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Stay in contact and keep posting regularly. I wouldn't have gotten as far as I have without the support of the SA fellowship.

    There is a difference between a natural healthy libido and the urge to indulge in porn. It is a good thing that you currently don't have the latter.
  20. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Well-Known Member

    Also I observed there is this strange one drop of water( Probably) that comes out of my pennis after 2-3 min after I pee.
    I don't know why. But does this thing happen with anybody else too?

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