Three years into my recovery

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by CJJackson, Jan 20, 2021.

  1. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    It’s been three years since I came into this forum in a lot of pain and anxiety about my PMO addiction. At the time I was 21 and had been heavily addicted to porn for years. I’d watch it multiple times a day and developed a lot of weird and appalling fetishes from years of abusing porn. I also developed a lot of sexual dysfunction like ED and delayed ejaculation. Two things I still struggle with from time to time. I was weak willed in denial and was literally at the point that I’d rather die than continue to be addicted to porn.

    fast forward to now and I’ve made more progress than I’d ever imagined. I’m not completely free of the addiction nor do I think I ever will be but I’m winning the fight. I’ve had countless relapses and times where I wanted to give up but I’ve never allowed myself too. I’m actually writing this after a relapse after nearly 2 months of no porn!

    the difference is I’m not sharing myself about it. I actually learned to love my failures and learn from them. If I could give any advice it’d be to not get caught up in counting days or streaks just stay off porn and masturbate within reason. Allow yourself 1-2 days a week to release because that’s healthy too. Masturbate properly with gentle strokes and try not to fantasize just trying and enjoy the feeling.

    I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to sit here and write a post saying that I fully overcame this addiction. But I can sit here now and say I’ll never give up. I’ll keep building off the successes I’ve already had. This past year I only had a handful of relapses I think about a dozen or so. The goal this year is to keep building off that and take things one day at a time. I’ve learned if you can go a day then you CAN go a lifetime.

    I wish all of you the best. Just remember that all of you have so much courage and bravery to fight this fight. We’re not like everyone else that makes excuses and gives in to the addiction. We fight back and we won’t stop ever.

    theres a lot of people on this forum I’d like to thank. Truthfully I can’t remember everyone because it’s been over a year since I posted on here. But I wanna give a shout out to two of my boys that made a big impact. @Nuwanda and @CidGuerreiro.

    not sure if you guys are still around but I hope you’re both well!

    much love

    - CJ
     

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