Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by staythecourse, Nov 22, 2016.
Why? It's just a blip. Nip it in the bud.
This may be controversial but why not just go with the pros. As a one off? Or a cheeky m to relieve the tension?
You've done so well with the no p try not yo let it escalate into a massive binge now
go with the pros meaning get a prostitute? Ive already jerked off a couple times today. I know this disease, it can be easier said than done to come back..my plan is a few days of jerking off and then resetting. Plans never workout, so who knows where this goes. A prostitute would have the same effect as jackin off, but cost $, so Id rather not waste my time with that.
you're right, and the more I do it, more in the dark hole I go. One day of jerking off wont effect the mind as much as a week, etc
I know you know it. Give yourself some tough love for me.
Yeah, I went on a binge after breaking my longest streak and have struggled to get anywhere near it since.
Its tough..downloaded multiple dating apps, chasing on Facebook..Im wondering if the binge goes a shorter time maybe recovery will be easier
Back to Day ONE, again. After 114 days, I can't get 24hrs together. This is tough. Download and delete the dating apps over and over again. Problem is they provide so much entertainment for me, I couldn't imagine my life without them. Amazing how things change so quickly, I feel like this is the only way. I cant imagine not masterbating now, or texting, or chasing girls, etc etc. Just a few weeks ago I couldn't imagine ever doing this stuff again. Its truly a disease..I've lost my peace and ease..Ill be on my phone for three straight hours and then step outside to the light blinding me, like a true crack addict.
I've got to get sober again. One day at a time. I havent masterbated today, yet, so there is a shot.
Looking back at my 114 days of no masturbation and then diving into it, I wanted to record my thoughts.
The 144 days was tough. There was boredom, loneliness, not always sure what to do with myself. My problems went from the back of my brain to the front of my brain..career, girlfriend/wife, etc. I would get very few girls #'s..maybe once a month..so I would hold onto them for dear life..not good being in scarcity mindset..going crazy when a girl wouldnt respond to me for 3hrs or even a whole damn day. Thinking she could be the one and over analyzing. Lots of fear.
But, physically, I was stronger. I had strength for lifting weights. I had more confidence. I had more peace and my mind wasn't as clouded. I would do things like read. I think I was more focused in my conversations. I knew I could get through a headache, or a craving, without jerking off. After two weeks, it got a lot easier. The loneliness and fear was always there, in fairly strong form.
Now that I am masturbating..or trying not to. I download all the dating apps and have tons of messages to get back to. Im not as bored, talking to all these girls keeps me busy. I care a little less about career and wife/girlfriend, and feel like Im in a bit more of an easygoing mindset. I found myself texting and masterbating on 2-3hr binges and thinking about it all day. I just want to get done with work or an activity so I can get home and jerk off. My diet is definitely worse and Ive lost a lot of strength.
I met an asian girl off tinder and we've had sex a couple times along with blowjobs and basically everything else. She wants to sleepover just about every night and texts me 10-15x a day. Shes all about me and is basically starting to think about marriage and all that crap and we've been dating for two weeks. Shes pretty psycho but its nice to be loved, have sex and have someone, even though I know it cant last too much longer.
I think as challenging as it is, its better not to masturbate than to do it. But its so hard getting those first two weeks down.
good work on the sex!
cant you carry on with tinder etc bit just stop M and P? there is nothing wrong with chasing girls, but surely what this is about is P and (to a lesser extent, imo) M. Or do they go hand in hand in your case?
staythecourse your story really moved me I can feel your pain. I offer you my support and truly I believe you proved to yourself that better, clearer, more mindful life is possible, just get back there mate do not hurt yourself anymore with all that shit that is causing you pain...hang in there dude
100% hand in hand. I go on dating apps for 5-6hrs, disregard work, feel drained, masterbate the whole time Im on them..sext..this girl likes me and I dont even care for her..Im ruining my life and delaying progress. This is sad and pitiful. I fucked a girl but its ajoke. This is a terrible lifestyle. Some guys are cool with being 50yrs old chasing chicks and trying to get high fives when they are 50yrs old and fucking a 20yr old, but the sadness and loneliness in their soul is unmatched..
So true. I have seen this too, dating apps ruined me more than porn ever did. Also after some real talk and honest opening up all the girls I met there for a fuck, whether they are 20 or 70 said they wish to be cared for, loved and cherished. Seeing them as an object for fun and a hole to score is such a pitiful mindset and thank you for reminding us, I needed that today!
Its hard to get even a day now. Back n forth on the apps. And this crazy asian girl likes me a lot and wants to be girlfriend status, I need to dump her but like the attention she gives me with all the texts. I have to put it all down and get a day and then two days together. not easy. miss those 114 days.
can you get out of town for a day or two? change in enviroment will help trust me. also you have the strength to erase the damn apps and be candid with the girl. you deserve that and she really does as well. your brain is playing with you and your rewrd circuts...you have done this before meaning you can do it again man! demystify the whole thing: erasing apps is just a simple move of your fingers not some gigantic undertaking...cutting ties with that girl also takes just a couple of minutes, not even that....come on dude dont let your brain run the show...
Trying to put one day together again. Rewards circuits are not functioning well. Want the girl to text me and tell me how much she likes me and have more sex with her, even tho I know it will all end, explode and she will be hurt and that depressive week will come. Know I will have to go through a two week withdrawal period. Know I will have boredom and loneliness. Must do this again. So hard.
Somehow I got through yesterday not masterbating. There was edging and maybe even precum and I was on the dating apps. I cant say Im fully committed or I'll last, but there was a nice peace yesterday. Its funny how much diet can affect this. If I eat less and healthy, I have a little less sex drive. When I eat chocolates and poor foods, sloth comes, and it goes up. There are double bonuses when not masterbating..more time, better diet and health and many more. But its soooo tough. Getting the first two weeks is so damn tough.
Hey STC, been a while. Sorry to hear about things being difficult right now. It reminds me of Londoner who also had 100+ days and after a relapse found it difficult to get things going again.
I guess the relapse-reward-pathways are operational again at the moment. Is it possible for you to read back into your journal what you did to get to those 100 days?
Thanks, it started with way too many sexual adventures and then falling for a girl and hitting a ton of pain. I learned and grew through the process too. So one week in I got a little better, then two weeks, then three weeks. After three weeks was much easier, but then I got very fucking lonely. I got cocky too. The entire 114 days was brutal if anything. Was so damn lonely and bored. I dont know how I will ever do it again.
Back to day one. 20th time in a row Im trying to get 24 hrs. Its hard as hell. I dont know if I ever will again. The boredom, loneliness, and built up sexual tension os too tough for me to get through.
How are the 'fundamentals'? You know, exercise, food, meditation, hanging out with other people? Are you able to occupy yourself enough?
I agree that the presence of a woman can do a lot. But it's something we cannot control fully.
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