This is hard

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Jjh, May 21, 2018.

  1. Jjh

    Jjh New Member

    I just had a relapse ‍♂️ I don’t know how not to, I guess I have to constantly stay busy or something because I’ll just be laying here with nothing to do and then boom it happens. I’m about to try again though, I need to make it through a full 30 days that’s my goal. I feel like I can take control from that point on. Right now though it’s hard just going 5 days. Ugh
     
  2. WastedYouth

    WastedYouth Member

    It's normal at the start bro. For me, once I got the right mindset being if I do PMO I will have lousy sexual relationships with women, I found it much easier to stick with the no PMO hard mode program. Get out of the house or away from your computer when you get the urge. After 40 odd years of PMO and MO, porn didn't do it for me anymore and wrecked my marriage. I've started socialising again (yeah even at my age) and met a lovely lady recently. If I can do it so can you. I don't know how old you are but porn will fuck up your life if you're not careful. I never thought it would but it did.
     
    Brit_91_kd and doneatlast like this.
  3. doneatlast

    doneatlast Active Member

    Think less about streaks, and about the small successes. If, when not trying to quit, you PMOed twice a day and you do it every other day now, that is progress because that means that there are cues you're saying "no" to and you're weakening those pathways... granted, not nearly as effectively as a full quit, but still, there is progress. Keeping relapses as short as possible helped me a lot, and helped me make the best of short bursts of rebooting. A relapse followed by multiple binges can erase your progress, but a relapse with an almost immediate resolution to get back up and try again won't move the needle nearly as much.

    Learning triggers is important. Think of a chain of events that lead up to watching porn. If you wait until you're at the end of the chain, you won't have the will power. If you move back, link by link, identifying each trigger as you go, you will gain more power over them, and as you move further away from the porn, they'll become easier to control. Sometimes we have to give up things that seem otherwise harmless. For some it is being on Facebook or Instagram. They may have good reasons for being there (keeping in touch with friends, networking, etc.), but too many bikini vacation photos, and they are jonesing for porn. Those people can likely control their Facebook habits easier than their porn habits. Or, if they can't control their Facebook habits, they can think what makes them turn to Facebook... high stress at work, anxieties about friends/lack thereof/loneliness, and those things can be addressed.
     
    spoofy and pascal like this.
  4. spoofy

    spoofy Active Member

    Ya, the total weekly/monthly pmo minutes is much more valuable than streaks.
     
    doneatlast likes this.
  5. htcuser

    htcuser New Member

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