They said I could be anything...

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by Lersk, Sep 22, 2012.

  1. Lersk

    Lersk New Member

    Hello everyone.
    I'm alive for 2 decades now and I never enjoyed sex. Because of that, I decided to change my routine to see if it works. I mean, from what I've read, porn addiction seems much stronger than what I feel. I could easily go without porn for a couple of days or so and it would never get in the way of my productive life. But I noticed that I could only orgasm with porn and masturbation.
    I had only 3 sex experience in my life: one while I was 16 and it was a "one-night-stand" that I didn't think she was attractive nor I was in the mood for it. I kinda did it because of friends pressure. It was awful and I didn't feel any pleasure at all. The second time was when I turned 18 and I got a "birthday present". Again, another awful experience. God, I felt disgusted (no need to mention that I felt no pleasure at all).
    So far I knew I should think about those stuffs, I mean, I had sex and I didn't enjoy it, but I also was in the zone where I couldn't judge it for sure. None of those were a rewarded moment of something that I conquer or so, so I kept on with the thought that porn was just how I would release a natural need. But then I met a nice and beautiful girl, had a couple of dates and we ended up having sex. I can't say I didn't like it, because it was really good, but physically speaking I didn't feel much pleasure during the sex. Because of this, in all experiences I got tired and/or bored and I lost my erection after ~40 min(first time) and almost 2 hours (the last time).
    If it were up to me, I would just wait for a girl that doesn't like sex either and settle for an asexual relationship, but I don't think I can be that picky or else I'm gonna end up alone for sure.
    So I decided to cut out porn (since last Saturday), but I didn't know about this rebooting thing. I just thought that if I could cut out porn for good and break the masturbation routine and pattern I would make my brain understand that the particular way that I use to masturbate isn't the only way to feel pleasure. Because I didn't know about the program, I've been porn-free for 7 days now, but I thought it was ok to masturbate during this time. The first time was on monday (two days after I started), but I didn't orgasm. The second one was wednesday (2+2) and I managed to finish after 1 hour and a half only thinking about the night that I had with that girl I mentioned. And yesterday I repeated the process.
    Now, I'm willing to reduce drastically masturbation aswell, but one thing for sure is that I'm gonna beat up this 100 day-free of porn and I'm gonna restart the counter as of today.
    I also would like to thank the community since it has a lot of information to help others.
     

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