Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Psychosis, Mar 2, 2012.
Yeah - what's happened to Psychosis? Deleted account? I'll miss that guy - he was really helpful and thoughtful. Hope he's OK.
I have no idea what happened to Psychosis.
Rundo also delete his account.
Probably someone else used their computers and discovered their usernames or something.
I'm new to this and I think I started a journal but I'm not very computer savvy.
So here is what I posted if you feel like reading it.
I am on day 35 of reboot and I want to thank you for making this site available. I intend on using this as a tool, among others, in getting free of porn addiction.
My low point where I knew I needed to change came after 35 years (I'm 52), and luckily, before I became crippled for ever. For that I am thankful. The long spiral of my addiction stimuli is classic textbook for men my age. I'll recount later if I feel like it.
I hope my experience helps others get through this difficult process. Primarily, though, I'm here to heal myself through the catharsis of acknowledging my downward path and shame.
Turn around is fair play. So I decided enlist the internet, which had been my enemy, as an ally. This is a great tool and the healing material is just as easy to access as porn. (And I don't have to spend half of my day removing viruses from my computer.)
I started out educating myself about porn addiction. This included the social, psychological, biological, chemical, and spiritual factors. Attaining this knowledge was an important element for me.
Next I started visiting sites that explained the healing process because I knew I needed hope after so much despair had become ingrained in me. Others going through the same ordeal successfully, and pros like you, have let me know that inner health is possible.
I made some concrete changes in my life. To relieve some loneliness I bought a dog, became active in my synagogue, joined a town committee, went on a legitimate dating site and joined a gym. Now I have a lover and I'm even getting in shape. (These didn't stop my wanking to porn.)
Inadvertently I discovered another tool--the emotions of disgust and compassion. Exploring the world of porn itself was an eye opening process. The "starlets" are usually desperate, dumb, children when they are convinced they can make some easy money then get out. The actresses and directors reveal hideous common practices including intimidation, rape, violence, disease, drugs, and scars that estrange them from future normal relationships and their families. On the other side the advocates of porn cite freedom of speech and the use of porn as a "marital aid". Both rationales I found false and disengenuous. Further many of the "starlets" aren't even nice people, never mind someone you'd like to wake up with.
I have adopted spiritual practices of prayer and meditation. I'm not a preacher and the concepts of sin and repentance didn't help me. But spiritual practice is critical for me and, again, the tools to gain these skills are free and available on the internet.
Finally, I found this site and it helps provide new tools, especially support. Anonymity too can be a friend. The site helps me prepare for what is coming next in this difficult process and I don't feel so lonely or ashamed because others are doing it too.
I congratulate you on your achievement and on keeping this thread going.
I have a question re PMO? Do you think not having an orgasm is critical?
I'm in a new loving relationship, albeit long distance, and I get to have sex about every other weekend. We both love it. I don't want to prolong my recovery and yet I don't want to jeopardize what may be a jewel of a relationship.
I'm not playing tapes in my head when we're doing it. We haven't had phone or email sex (which is a very tempting trigger for me.)
This did get me very close to some trouble though. I googled "kama sutra" and emailed the links to her so we could experiment w/ new positions. The trouble was that it was a porn site and I kicked back into the old mode. Luckily I got off before I wanked and I've kept it clean ever since.
So what about the "O" component?
@gettingthere, maybe you can post a link of your journal so we can take a look, cuz im not seeing yours..AND WHERE IS Psychosis!?!?!
He's probably at spring break. Deleting one's journal seems drastic.
Do you know that is in fact why they left?
Separate names with a comma.