The Top 3 FATAL MISTAKES Rebooters Make

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by TheUnderdog, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. ItAllEndsHere

    ItAllEndsHere Follow the way every day

    I would like to thank all of you for awesome advice and helpful information posted here !!! For me as a NEWBE this forum is the most effective tool against my addiction.
  2. jim2881

    jim2881 New Member

    Thanks for your website. Really didn't know the whole chemistry science behind PMO addiction until I came upon this site. Serious addiction for 15 years. Those 3 fatal mistakes ring so true, especially the first one. Pure boredom with life, my life. Took me a long time to even understand why I was so addicted. Binge and then would stop for maybe a couple of days then binge again. I would use PMO when I was depressed and use when I was happy. Just seemed to be a drug fix. Ruined many relationships with good women. Ruined my sex life. The funny thing was I seemed ok and normal, good job, nice house, church goer, etc . People would wonder why I couldn't hold a relationship. I couldn't beat PMO until I understood that this was a real disease, real chemistry of addiction. Needs a rewriting of the brain. Meditation and yoga and spiritual reading has helped a lot. Getting to know the real me and dealing with it! Yes the flatlining and withdrawal has been a bitch at times, but trust me, my true feelings are coming back, my interactions with women are so much more present. It's like the fog slowly clears with time. With discipline, persistence and a renewed thinking, one can conquer this addiction and start living a real life.
  3. david1489

    david1489 New Member

    wow, the post is so great! i had some hard moment right now and 1 min before my head points me to the points i cant handle and must do porn. i enterd this forum and read your post.
    ty!! this post is on my favorite for any time i get hard times with my mind.
  4. Gamma Player

    Gamma Player New Member

    Great Post Mate! I'll try to integrate it in my life! 8)
  5. OliverHart

    OliverHart New Member

    I was really moved by that monk part. About the nobly disciple and the other one. But what I didn't get or missed was how he deals with pain and all the other negative feelings. He just takes it and let's it be? If someone is feeling lonely or sad and what's to hit up a friend, according to the monk is bad? Because you're going to become attached to Co dependency? How does he deal with it?
  6. BreakfreeUK

    BreakfreeUK New Member

    Just reading some of these posts after a long layoff from this site. I recently came to similar conclusions on my own.

    Its not just the porn, thats the start, building a better life takes some effort.

    Onwards and upwards!
  7. Super

    Super Guest

    This is your own opinion, things are not the same for everybody, i find that only 20% of this article is true and worth considering , rest is nonsense, what you wrote aint helpful at all
  8. deny

    deny New Member

    This article, along with your other article (, changed my life.
    It all makes sense now about replacing the bad with the good. The vision of who I desire to be doesn't involve being a porn addict. And therefore, I will sit through the pain/urges/temptation. I will relish in them. I will deny myself temporary happiness for long lasting joy.

    Thank you TheUnderdog
  9. Posse88

    Posse88 New Member

    Thank You Very Much for the advice.

    Mistake #1 is the absolute trap most people fight with the most as its our emotions and feelings we are trying to escape from and using porn was the perfect escape (so I thought). This mistake is an obvious one, but is what makes addiction so hard to beat.

    Mistake #2 is one that i can really learn from as i am early in my road to quitting porn and i have had a few slips that turn into week long relapses because i feel like a failure each time and mentally check out to what i'm trying to accomplish in quitting. Finally i come back to my senses after beating myself up and get back on track.

    Mistake #3 is the one i wish i could follow the most and in time hopefully it will get easier, but maybe over my 25 years of addiction and where it got to the point where it was hours of everyday that i PMO. I know i think about it way to much still, but because it was such a big part of my life for so long and i'm only a little over a month into my recovery, i just can't control my thoughts so far, but hopefully in the future this mistake will get easier to not make.

    Cheers Underdog for this great post, but as i'm sure most of us know easier said than done.
  10. newperson

    newperson Member

    Great advice underdog, thank you.
  11. Revolt

    Revolt New Member

    Great advice. Thanks Underdog. Also, thank you for your other post "My thoughts on Rebooting", which I presume is sent out automatically to users when they reach 10 posts. Just reading through it. Some great information. Nice one.
  12. KnowNoNow

    KnowNoNow New Member

    I'm so glad to read this reply! My internal addict was already jumping up and down and making plans!!! There have been other things I've read that also (my addict says) gives "permission to relapse". I've quit MANY times over the years, marking in my calendar "re-comitted to meditation" in case others saw my calendar. Lots of the relapses were due to some tiny, even microscopic bit of permission to continue the addiction. Thanks for that!!
  13. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    Thanks very much ! # all your 3 points make makes perfect sense . i was about to realpase cuz because of what u described at the first point (my life is hard, i live in foreign countery away froù family and friends, and i study in extremly hard field... ) And you are right.. fapping will not make my life any less hard.. but hard work will ..
    allthought i am not a fan of the 2nd point cuz my brain may use it to justify a realpse, ( for example speaking for my self, in july i used to masturbate like 3 to 4 times a day, and in august ive dont it like 8 times, and today wer are in septembre and i on my 12 days, so if i turn that mindset on, i will relapse and say : its ok, fapping 3 times a month is no harm.. NO i wont fap at all. :)

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