The Top 3 FATAL MISTAKES Rebooters Make

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by TheUnderdog, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. howardhughes

    howardhughes Guest

    Thanks for the advice! I think number three will be really helpful for me. Very interesting ties to the Buddhist concept of Aversion.
     
  2. 2by4

    2by4 New Member

    Thank you, I needed to read that. Right now I'm in the ''it's just not something I do" phase, which is great; but I know from experience can only last so long. Will try to keep up my meditation practice as well. This is a wonderful book for anyone interested. The ebook used to be free, but no longer :(

    http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html
     
  3. I like myself

    I like myself It's what you do next that counts.

    Thank you for making me aware of these three fatal mistakes, it feels great to have the advantage. I also like what Newday323 had to share, "find new stuff to keep you occupied. Get immersed in things other than porn like like socializing, exercising, playing sports, making music, reading, cooking, meditating, etc."

    Thanks once again :)
     
  4. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Underdog, I think you should add #4 fatal mistake: trying to find ways around the reboot.

    Telling ourselves X kind of porn is acceptable, that something (girls in bikinis, twerk videos, etc) is not porn so it's ok to look at it or even fap to it, peeking then masturbating, making up excuses to not use a blocker even when you cannot stop yourself from peeking because deep inside you wan to keep the porn... the list goes on and on.

    I'd say must of us have started like that, trying to figure out ways to make the reboot easier and/or to keep the porn around. I know I did and it cost me not only a lot of time but also a lot of pain. Everything would've been easier if I had just accepted that there are no gray areas between PMOing and not PMOing.

    Just a suggestion.
     
  5. spydez

    spydez New Member

    Even though I'm a bit late to the party...well said theunderdog.
     
  6. rebooterik

    rebooterik New Member

    Thank you for your gift of these words, insights, and perspectives.

    Mental gold nuggets these three tips are.

    God bless you.

    I will read this every day from now on.
     
  7. Mister D

    Mister D I have a masturbation addiction

    This is really a good post, Especially #3. Occupy your mind with something else, masturbation and/or porn won't matter!
     
  8. frank_martin

    frank_martin New Member

    Simply and truly AWESOME!!!!!
    Thanks a lot, man :)
     
  9. v2sanchez

    v2sanchez Road to Enlightenment

    Thanks for making this, will try correcting these mistakes from now on

    edit: Mostly number 1 affects me the most, will focus more on it and still keep number 2 and 3 in my mind
     
  10. lookingforlove

    lookingforlove looking to have meaningful and satisfying sex

    awesome , agreed!
     
  11. Poseidon

    Poseidon New Member

    Is MO also considered to be a #1? To fap to your imagination?
     
  12. Idt81

    Idt81 New Member

    New user here, first post.

    Good advice for beginners. The thoughts aren't so new to me as they are unused. Especially with Mistake #1(Emotional management).
    The Buddhist excerpts unlike many pieces of good advice, is harder said than done; on paper, it sounds much more...unappealing than it is.

    I like to think of it this way: Life/The Universe might show me bad times. I won't hold it against him.
    I've never been fully comfortable with the Buddhist notion of indifference/detachment, but the principle rings true. Bad feelings and good times circulate constantly, but the spirit remains beyond their reach. Our collection of values can remain constant and undistirbed.

    I do prefer to 'expect' bad feelings as part of any worthwhile journey. Painful feelings are often instructive. I think when pain is expected and its role understood, it doesn't cut as deeply; it can be held at bay. And then you can experience it on your own terms.
     
  13. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    It fits in #1 if you MO to suppress your bad feelings.
     
  14. elio

    elio Guest

    mistake 3 is most important for me
     
  15. AddictedAgain

    AddictedAgain Pain = Growth

    Please read original post for motivation
     
  16. tonym

    tonym Member

    Great post man, thanks. Words to live by..
     
  17. newmanatonce

    newmanatonce Every Day I Am Becoming a New Man

    THanks for this post and the "MANDATORY READING " post, TheUnderdog Gets it, all the haters need to get on the bench, I've paid lots of Skrilla for the same advice,
    All the best, time to go out and work on becoming
     
  18. tonym

    tonym Member

    Thanks Underdog for posting those fata mistakes. Was having a weak moment this past weekend and logged onto YBR rather than a porn site. Read the 3 mistakes and it got me through the night. Boredom is a biggie, but so is habit. Keep on keeping on Underdog ! :)
     
  19. slookey

    slookey New Member

    I relapsed yesterday and was feeling terrible. This post revived me. :)
     
  20. determinedperson

    determinedperson New Member

    The number one problem is (for me at least) the urges come back again, and again, and again, and again, until you get so preoccupied your mind at that point is thinking "The pros of relapsing now so I the urges can go away (temporarily) outweigh the cons (having to deal with the urges poking you in the back again and again until you go crazy)). This is the reason for every relapse. THIS is the biggest problem imo. You subconsciously want to rid urges by relapsing, because you just CAN'T FUCKING DEAL WITH THEM ANYMORE, but after you relapse, you still get angry as hell.
    As much as I try to force myself to not be angry, I end up being not just angry; I can feel a fiery WRATH traveling down my entire body after relapsing. I tell myself that my body is to be forced to cater to my needs not disobey my orders for it, and I feel like banging my head against the wall to punish it thoroughly. I tell myself my body is weak. I tell myself real men don't have weak bodies, and real men can strangle and force their bodies to cater to his commands.
     

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