The Top 3 FATAL MISTAKES Rebooters Make

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by TheUnderdog, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. High_Achiever

    High_Achiever New Member

    Indeed.

    But Underdog you really have to explain this one to me. Everytime you write a thread (his one and the orgasm reboot), I always have the same idea. No joke! It's quite scary actuallly, but you allways seem to be ahead of me when putting it in a post ;D
     
  2. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Hahaha yeah I know!
     
  3. ultimatengj

    ultimatengj New Member

    #1 has my name written all over it lol.....
     
  4. Mjrainbo34

    Mjrainbo34 New Member

    I have a question for you guys. I knew I had a erection problems since I was 22. I couldn't geometry get lk 60% up. I had no clue porn would do this to me, I thought it was totally natural to watch porn bc everyone does it! I was with a girl for lk 10 months and I started taking testosterone pills bc I thought i didn't have enough! I used those pills and my dick would work all the time but by the 4th bottle I would get the same results when I was 22 again. In the past 5 weeks I've only masturbated twice and now I'm 18 days pmo free! But here's my question, I started to chew dip like 3-4 times a day for the past year. I read an article on google that says nicotine does increase dopamine! Does this mean that my dopamine receptors won't heal as fast? I don't masturbate anymore and I just want to solve this problem as soon as possible! Should I quit chewing? But if I don't does this mean all the effort I've done so far to accomplish this was worthless? Any advice would help
     
  5. 9XsOutta10

    9XsOutta10 New Member

    I actually came to the realization about the advice in #2 recently. It's so easy to get discouraged breaking a long streak that we think all those days were for nothing. "Progress is not linear" - I think I read that on YBOP somewhere. Such an important idea to remember.
     
  6. flamingwind

    flamingwind Guest

    Stop thinking about stopping watching porn is my biggest problem. I try my best to not think about it, but as soon as I have a moment a freedom that's the first thing that's going to come up in my mind
     
  7. byrjandi

    byrjandi New Member

    Very good thread, thank you Underdog.

    I particularly like number 3. The 'me' that is worrying incessantly over whether he will use porn or, if he has, how bad he feels and how much he wants to be better, is actually the same 'me' that desires so strongly the porn. So desire is the source here. This focus on 'me', which is the 'me' itself, needs to be dropped totally. I think it's important when we are so focused on ourselves and this self-centred activity to take time out and really engage ourselves with something. This is where mearningful activity, such as listening to music, taking a walk, talking to a person, etc. Engagement of yourself, or in other words, mindfulness.

    Cheers,
    Sheridan
     
  8. LOGOS

    LOGOS Personal Best - 233 Days PMO-free

    *Bump!*

    The more time I spend on this site, the more convinced I am by the importance of this original post. I wish every guy would automatically get it sent to him when he relapses --- there's true wisdom in it. At any rate any time I see somebody report a relapse I'm going to direct him here.

    I also especially appreciated the selection from In the Buddha's Words. Whatever one thinks of religion, it's undeniable that that man had unsurpassed insight into the workings of the human mind.
     
  9. J.P.

    J.P. Active Member

    No need to bump. It's a sticky.
     
  10. Aussie_85

    Aussie_85 Guest

    most relapses iv'e had are from #1.

    escaping 'reality' and other painful emotions is where the majority of my addiction comes from.also when I'm feeling 'good',or iv'e done something positive i seem to want to reward myself with an 8 hour porn binge.

    everything you said is absolutely correct.

    especially the part about not beating yourself up after a relapse and realising how far you've come,im a chronic relapser as well,but my PMO'ing has decreased X100 since finding YBOP and joining this forum.iv'e admitted my addiction to my therapist and I'm feeling better in general.

    thank you,for this forum and your wise words.

    Aussie 8)
     
  11. FindingSanctuary

    FindingSanctuary One foot before the other.

    *bump*
    why did this post lose its sticky?
     
  12. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    I made a new sticky.

    It contains links to the most important threads.
     
  13. Sound fx

    Sound fx How bad do you want it? GO GET IT THEN.

    absolutely great post man. look forward to forgetting about pornography and moving on with my life.
     
  14. Sellotape

    Sellotape Member

    Just read this man, great post. Definately think I'm making at least one of those mistakes. I didn't realised other people use the relapse spreadsheet too. its a good idea.
     
  15. edded262

    edded262 New Member

    Outstanding post! Honestly with #2 it frustrates me when I see people completely falling apart after a relapse, especially if they had a nice streak going beforehand. I had to leave another forum because every time I went on there it was nothing but sob stories!! I love to encourage others, but at the same time, when I come on a forum sometimes its to get some encouragement for myself!

    Anyway keep up with all the great posts UnderDog!
     
  16. pinoy_kev

    pinoy_kev Let's do this c'mon!!!!!

    Very nice post!! Haha. Just want to share. Whenever the temptation sets in, I will just grab my Underarmor compression shorts and training shorts and wear them then do sets of push-ups until I get tired and forget about it. Hahahahaha. Let's do this, guys, one two punch HAAASSSAAAAA.
     
  17. ITguy

    ITguy New Member

    This is SO true!!! Thanks for writing this out for everyone here to learn from.

    I learned #2 before I figured out #1 (and way before I found this site), and it was very helpful to disconnect the shame and guilt that accompanied it.

    The importance of #1 is to figure out what you're feeling ... and then deal with it, don't just try to medicate it away, or ignore it. Feel the emotion and really deal with it.

    I think I still may have a problem with #3, because when I would have otherwise looked at P, I come here to this forum (or YBOP), which I admit is thinking about P ... even if it is how to overcome it. But, hey, it's better to come HERE then to go looking at P!!
     
  18. Wolverine Dudism

    Wolverine Dudism I want real girls, real success and real love :)

    Awesome! Keep strong :)
     
  19. Parasite

    Parasite New Member

    I would add to first one. Its not only when you feel bad. I went so far that i reward myself with watching porn. I had in my mind lets do this work and i can watch some porn! Yeah not anymore.
     
  20. Cyclomusic

    Cyclomusic Guest

    I also like this post, but have an addition, because I experienced for myself a fourth "Fatal Mistake": Mistake #4: Using Porn when I'm feeling good

    This mistake might sound strange at first, but I have experienced it several times. For example when I have had successfully quit P for a few days. I was proud on myself and feeling good and often said to myself: "That's worth a little reward, let's have a look at XXwhatever.com" - which leaded me most often to Mistake #1 and after a while to Mistake #2.
    Other situations have happened quite often when I had good evenings with friends, very good evenings actually. Instead of enjoying the memories of the evening for myself before going to bed, I lay down and watched P before sleeping. Similar thing had even happened after making sport and feeling very good, outpowered etc. I'm pretty sure, more situations would come to my mind, when I think longer about it. It is definitely a routine of mine: Using P when I'm feeling good. I'm quite sure that this is not a big problem anymore, when having successfully rebooted, but before that? Does anyone has similar experiences?

    I have started my - still quite new - journal with that question: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=8467.msg138637#msg138637
     

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