The Rogues' Gallery [GROUP]

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Pedigree, Jun 17, 2013.

  1. Sammy3000

    Sammy3000 We are no longer the hollow men

    Re: The Rogues' Gallery [GROUP] 1 Vacancy

    Thanks for the thought Truett. Perhaps "love" is a sort of chemical addiction as well. Guess we just found the answer to that one famous song :p

    Also I'm sorry to hear about that Pedigree. I know you've been having a rough time lately.
    I'm not sure what you mean by this though. The trade-off is you stop peeking at bikini sites if your brain lays off the porn? Trade-off carried a different meaning to me. It sounded like giving a few steaks to a tiger in your backyard so he doesn't consume you..
     
  2. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    Re: The Rogues' Gallery [GROUP] 1 Vacancy

    The trade-off: I'll keep looking at the bikini sites if you don't hassle me with the porn.
     
  3. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    Re: The Rogues' Gallery [GROUP] 1 Vacancy

    I was doing the same thing for a while. I was M'ing to softcore stuff on Cinemax. Even though I did consider it a relapse, it was only a minor one. The problem is, it would always lead to the harder stuff. I literally watched each following session escalate to harder stuff, and then boom, back to my fetish.

    I always felt like the analogy would be Porn = Heroin, Masturbation = Morphine. So I'm giving myself a dose of one to kill cravings for the other. A "controlled dose" of light porn would never work, or at least not for me.
     
  4. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    Re: The Rogues' Gallery [GROUP] 1 Vacancy

    I don't get why somebody, especially a popular poster like Hands, would just up and leave.

    I can understanding taking a break, or distancing yourself from the forum. It can be a burden at times. But why not check in in once or twice a month? It's not like it costs anything to post here.

    I'm sure he'll be back eventually. This isn't the first time he's left.
     
  5. finally

    finally New Member

    Re: The Rogues' Gallery [GROUP] 1 Vacancy

    Hello, I just wanted to ask some questions about the group if you don't mind. What exactly does it take to be a rogue? Are there any requirements? What are the benefits of being part of the group?

    Thanks for your time!
     
  6. Sammy3000

    Sammy3000 We are no longer the hollow men

    Re: The Rogues' Gallery [GROUP] 1 Vacancy

    Again I could never do a trade-off. It's like negotiating with the tiger in your backyard. One day he's going to break in and eat you...


    @finally I'm not sure what to say about your other questions but the benefits is that you get to hang out with the cool kids of the forum ;)
     
  7. DancerMan

    DancerMan Guest

    Re: The Rogues' Gallery [GROUP] 1 Vacancy

    Im a bit of a Noob but I'll take it ;D ;D ;D
     
  8. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    The vacant spot goes to DancerMan.
     
  9. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    On the trade-off thing:

    I think one factor that I did not take into account was how the bar for what I consider explicit gets lowered as time goes on. I mean, one thing I never noticed was that the girls from site looked a lot hotter than they were 6 months ago. In a way, there is an expiration date for the trade-off anyway.
     
  10. DancerMan

    DancerMan Guest

    Hi Guys!! Thanks for welcoming me to the club! :D :D

    Have a read through my journal if you like, to see where I am at.

    I am currently on my 4th proper re-boot since the beginning of the year; previous efforts - 4 days - 7 days - 20 days.

    Im feeling pretty confident with this round as I am taking a more relaxed approach. Certainly not relaxed in what I am allowing myself to do (I will be doing a P, PMO and MO free re-boot), but relaxed in that I'm just letting things happen and not thinking about not PMO too much and then getting myself all cut up about it if I do, like I did in the past as well as over think things waaay to much. I will however be addressing issues as they come up in a mindful and considerate manner, and will be doing meditation and some hypnotherapy which so far have been the most useful tools.

    Still not sure yet if I am going to do the Recovery Nation program, It looks great but I am going to see how things pan out over the next month before I jump into it.

    Well guys, thanks again!
     
  11. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    It's lengthy so might as well start doing it. It's tedious at the start, it even admits itself. But it gave me quiet an ass-kicking so I think it's quiet legit. I'm still quiet scared about what's next from it.
     
  12. Sammy3000

    Sammy3000 We are no longer the hollow men

    Hey Pedigree is there anything on there about developing differentiation? I think at this point I can handle the PMO part just fine but I could definitely use some work out as far as differentiation goes. As defined by Bowenian theory it's the process of becoming emotionally and intellectually independent and be your own man. How to keep developing your own individuality... I would think the recovery nation would have something along those lines but I have such little time for "recreation" these days(only about half an hour before 8am and half an hour after 7pm) I don't want to start it and have it be only half done.
     
  13. DancerMan

    DancerMan Guest

    Thanks Pedigree, you are probably right... I have a log in all set up, may as well use it see how I go
     
  14. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    Not sure about that. I can't say I'm familiar with Bowenian theory.

    But something that's probably related to that is the program's encouragement to make list of values and your vision to life which I take to be the program's way of saying "Here's the life you ought to be living instead of PMOing".

    As far as time investment goes, I think consistency is more important than speed. The exercises do take a lot of brainpower to do and it's not unusual that I do feel a bit exhausted when I'm done with an exercise.
     
  15. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    Read the first line of my signature. The past 1.5 years absolutely didn't go to waste. Although we've already made a lot of progress, the good news is we're just getting started.
     
  16. Sammy3000

    Sammy3000 We are no longer the hollow men

    Sorry to hear about that Truett. But I'm glad you're back on the right track.

    I've been waking up with consistent morning wood and continuing to get random erections during the day. I'll be heading to the beach soon to hang out with May for the last time for a long time and when I woke up this morning I really wanted to just MO to get rid of the constant desire and horniness that have been dominating my mind for the past few weeks.

    The reason I didn't go through with it however is because last night I had a dream in which I was painting and browsing a website at the same time. On the website I happened to see a .gif file from a P that I must've seen... what years ago? Even my dream self was like "oh yeah I remember this". And it's weird as all hell because I never actually PMO'd to that gif nor even saved it. It was just looked over in passing. But I guess it made enough of a psychological dent in my mind to the point of it's resurfacing with such high clarity. When I woke up and had the urges I recognized this as a sign that the reasons I wanted to MO weren't the reasons I thought. It was my brain rationalizing.

    There is also the matter of the fact that I didn't want to fail No Fap July after coming so long. But that was a very small factor.
     
  17. Sammy3000

    Sammy3000 We are no longer the hollow men

    Silence does lead to a lot of frustration and pent up emotions. We need to be able to break the habit and not act reactive. Stop. Draw the other person's attention to what is happening and go on with our lives.

    I'm glad you were able to spot it mate.
     
  18. DancerMan

    DancerMan Guest

    Hello Fellas!!

    Ive been away for a short while but I'm back! :)

    TruettW, I hear ya! We should all be speaking up about these things a little more. One thing that has finally set in for me is that this re-boot is way bigger than just PMO. It really does change everything. Whilst I still have a long way to go I have found a little more confidence which has allowed me to stick to my guns a bit more and speak up when needed and appropriate. I feel happier, but I have noticed more how people are behaving around me; with more respect.

    Sammy, It sounds like you have made some awesome progress... Even in your dreams you are noticing P and not acting on it... Just recognising it and then moving on. It is crazy for any of us to pretend p does not exist, because when we do this it means we don't learn how to act when we come across it. It seems to me you have learnt this lesson (that many of us don't give ourselves a chance to) so much so that your subconscious in on side too. WIN!! You are a champion!

    As for me I have just hit the 30 day mark. I am very happy! Starting this I would tell myself that I could do it but, but I didn't actually believe it. Now that I have 30 days... I believe it. So the last week, even though I have been busy with Skiing and getting my portfolio finished, the urges to MO have been crazy and it has been very difficult to stay focussed.

    I actually did hook up with someone from the village, I didn't have any ed problems. Hard the whole time (unusual), but didn't cum (usual story). I don't think that it has really set me back, quite the opposite actually. Normally when that happened I would mindlessly binge on PMO after, but this time even though the urge to O was there I recognised straight away that I still have a bit of a way to go and what was the point in ruining the progress thus far! This has shown me that I have made progress, giving me the confidence to move forward and keep going... It didn't even bother me that I didn't O during sex when it usually does....

    Now for the next 30days and no fap August!
     
  19. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    My journal is dead. I'm getting very little feedback. So I'll start updating more here.

    Random news (from my journal):

    - Some possible dating/ hook-ups on the horizon. Hanging out with the girl that took my v-card next weekend. Safe bet it will lead to something. This makes me nervous since my degree of sexual experience is still quite limited. But at least I'm not going into it a total rookie like last time.

    - Due to some sexting, MO has been frequently lately (about 1x daily). Probably too often for my own good. It definitely seems to be throwing me off a little bit. I think 2x a week is manageable for me, anything more can potentially be draining.

    - Went to the massage parlor today. The happy ending was surprisingly anti-climatic. My goal in going was to feel comfortable around women, since I have some possible dates & sex in the near future. It definitely helps in that department.

    - No CR urges (knock on wood). Porn urges have been creeping up lately. Sometime light, sometimes moderate, but manageable.

    - I've found myself in a weird cyber "relationship", long story that I don't feel like getting into. It's not an actual relationship but a fling I guess? It's given me very sharp urges to cam with this girl. But due to certain circumstances, I really don't want to. Trying my best. If I cam with her, I will count it as a relapse and reset my counter.

    - My therapist is absolutely terrific and knowing I can discuss this stuff with him has been tremendously beneficial. Deciding to meet with him has been one of the best decisions I've made since rebooting. My advice to my friends here; if you have the means to afford a therapy, definitely do it. Look for a therapist that specifically works with men on sex and relationship related issues. If anybody is in NJ and wants a referral, PM me.

    - I've been speaking to JP on Xbox and the phone often. He is just as good as my therapist at listening and giving advice when I need it. He's a true friend and has been providing invaluable support.
     
  20. Sammy3000

    Sammy3000 We are no longer the hollow men

    Some good news there mate.

    A lot of individuals on this site seem to go to massage parlors for happy endings.. Thoughts? I almost feel like it would be counter productive but...
     

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