The Road Goes Ever On

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Eternity, Oct 9, 2013.

  1. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    I love the stolen/borrowed piano intro for that one. And piano in general for metal.


    I've been having some urges today, I seem to recall a P related dream which is probably the reason. For now I've managed to come here, but I wouldn't say I'm safe yet. I might shut off the computer early. I got a few new albums today to help distract myself. Besides listening, managing the collection is fun. It feels like for each album I add, two more appear that I want.

    I should be able to finish the history book tonight, which means Tolkien again soon. Can't wait.


    I like that the revival of 80s hard rock seems to be growing (wishful thinking mostly.) Helps me to learn that sometimes, it's okay to have fun.

     
  2. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Gave in to curiosity at last. This time I'll try to just go on as if nothing happened. Harder said than done, but I know all these things I could do instead, so that's what I'll do.
     
  3. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Alas, despite efforts the weekend continued weakly. I actually got many good things done, though. Plenty of cleaning/tidying up. In a little bit I'll hop on the bike for some exercise. It should be good to sweat and suffer for a bit.

    Some emotional guitar play seems appropriate.

     
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  4. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    Good stuff, man.

    I have reached the conclusion that suffering is the best thing that happened to me. I just look at my character, and I don't see anything else that could've made such an impact on me like suffering. (Of course, my worldview is that of a Christian, so I look at it through those lens.)
     
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  5. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    It's true. The tree most exposed to storms has the strongest roots. Imagine someone without any problems, without any obstacles. Wouldn't that be the most boring person ever?
     
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  6. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Hard to get started again. Two unusual days when I've been at home most of the time haven't exactly helped. Bah, even if it takes the rest of the year, I will be getting back on track. No more disappearing.

    Watching a documentary series about a town in Denmark, which took on the project to save insects by converting lawns to fields and so on. Such things always inspire me to do something of my own. I think I'm going to have to remove the top layer of the lawn and start anew, because it just grows too thick to manage if not.

    @CleanBootsBaby! I find getting through suffering and hardships oddly cleansing and satisfying. I may not enjoy it at the time (i e very long bike rides,) but looking back on it is nice.

    @-Luke- I wonder if there are any people like that. In my addiction delusions, I tend to think that it must be nice to be certain people because they can't have any problems. But that's just a mask those people are wearing, isn't it?


    Speaking of masks. I'm 25 years late to the thrash party, but I really enjoy discovering the lesser known bands.

    His slate, clean as snow
    Covers over his dark past
    To be in league with workers
    Pictures he loved to see


     
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  7. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    This is a solid piece of thrash metal! Out of all the more "brutal" metal, thrash is my favorite genre.

    I, too, like to discover unknown little gems like this one. Therefore, I, for one, appreciate this recommendation! :D (That's what your personal music stuff becomes, automatically, when posted here, LOL!)

    LOVED this instrumental piece from them, too:


    In fact, you just reminded me of some bands, I'll add some good stuff in my thread in this vein. Hope you'll enjoy it!

    This right there is all about channeling that masculine energy, my friend. Finding pleasure, at the end, in adversity. That satisfaction that I think our forefathers, working more physically demanding jobs, may have experienced better than us. At least I think so.

    In fact, I think of what we are doing here as delayed gratification. Because, in the end...we will arrive. Mark my words, if we do what is right, we will arrive.
     
  8. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    [​IMG]
     
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  9. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    I don't think there are people like this, but I know what you mean. Especially in the social media era it sometimes seems like other people are living a great life without any problems. They share the highs and never the lows. But the lows are there.
     
  10. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    @CleanBootsBaby! Solid album, as most of theirs are it seems. I really like technical thrash. And I do think that the meaning of "a hard day's work" has changed. Some 150 years ago, at most, every day was a struggle to survive. While we still need to work to survive, it's not like I worry about having nothing to eat.

    @-Luke- And this spotless image that they project makes me feel worthless at times. Regardless if it's food, a clean room, or a model.


    So I didn't get the job (half expected) but if I keep taking opportunities as they show up, I'll get there. For many years I didn't get to go to interviews, and these past few months I've been to two. That's gotta count for something.

    This is day one, again. First mini goal is to get through the evening. Listening to some heroic music to get me in the fighting mood. ~5:50 is wonderful!

     
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  11. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    Youtube keeps failing me tonight (Internet works fine otherwise), but this piece you posted sounds (from the little preview I was allowed to give it) epic, indeed! Should retry tomorrow.

    Yep...let that heroism flow into you, my friend :).

    Good stuff, buddy! Progress is progress. You have my admiration.
     
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  12. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    I just got my fourth version of Blind Guardian's Nightfall In Middle-Earth, this time the 2018 release. Some may call me obsessed, but I just think it's a fairly normal collector thing. After all, it has two additional songs which were originally planned to be included back in 1998. And, considering that this is one of my absolute favourite albums, how could I not want it?
    I didn't discover Blind Guardian until 2002, when the Tolkien themed Nightfall caught my eye in a record store (remember those?) At first I didn't like it, mainly due to the vocals, but it grew on me. A lot.

    I don't know why I'm writing about this, maybe because it helps to remind myself that there are still things I'm passionate about and love. No matter how dark the days turn.

     
  13. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Back to my usual Friday nights, hm. Not good. Semi-busy today so maybe I can make a stand.
     
  14. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Been out of control this weekend. I don't think it gets much lower than this (as mentioned in @-Luke- 's journal.) But how do I move on from this? Going back to work will help, and it might give me enough preparation to get through next weekend.
    What I must focus on is idle time, since that's when boredom overtakes. What I can do when that happens.

    I tend to look for inspiration and motivation in fictional characters. One of those is Scrooge McDuck. The Life and Times by Don Rosa is one of my favourite reads, and following Scrooge's journey fills me with awe and longing. Longing for a past world where there were still vast, unspoiled areas. I've always loved nature romanticism, and a beautiful vista or a sunset gets the emotions going.

     
  15. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    A common thought I have when I'm on the fence about giving in is that I'll always be alone, so what's the point in resisting. It's complicated, while I may feel lonely, I also like being alone at times. It would be interesting to see how much the addiction plays a part in this. Maybe I'll come to want social stuff. After 15 years of solitude, the idea of sharing the house with someone is completely alien. Thinking back to when I actually managed longer periods of time without PMO, I was still quite introvert, but I didn't mind social interaction. I just didn't seek it out. I don't think I have to be alone for the rest of my life, but I don't want to be forced into something just because it's what one's supposed to do.

    We're on winter time now, which means that it's already dark at 5PM. And it will keep growing darker for nearly 2 more months. Soon I will barely see daylight during the week. I hope it won't affect me too badly. On the other hand I kinda like the concept of going into a long slumber, only to awaken anew in spring, much like all hibernating creatures.

     
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  16. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    I feel pretty much the same way. I used to feel bad about being single, living alone and not actively seeking social events (at least not often) because - like you said - you're supposed to live a different life. But nowadays I think that "supposed to" is a poor measure of one's life. Porn can definitely amplify introversion for someone who's already an introvert, but being an introvert isn't a bad thing in my opinion.

    Did you ever try some daylight lamp or/and red light device for the winter?
     
  17. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    It seems more accepted these days. I hope that if I meet someone, she accepts who I am. I don't want to pretend that I'm someone else.

    I've heard of them, but I haven't tried. First, I'm curious to see how I react to the dark season if PMO is not part of my daily life. I think I'm beginning to find some proper reasons again.


    I'm starting to feel a bit more excited about this fight. Maybe it's just random, but it's the first time in years that I've felt this way. This feeling will probably fade, but at least I've recorded it.

    Been listening to some (for me) emotional music yesterday and today. Even if it makes me sad at times, it's nice to feel something. Tuomas Holopainen is probably the best composer of such music in modern times.

    I've seen Nightwish live three times, and the 2015 show was one of the best I've experienced. I miss concerts...

     
  18. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    For once I did some mid-week training, the last of the Academy. Did it make me better? No idea. Should do a FTP test next time I think, since I'm unsure about where I stand anyway. I felt pretty good and was able to increase the toughness for the final repeat, which is a first.

    I've made a plan to quit caffeine this weekend. I hate how sluggish I get when I'm consuming it. It's like I can never get rested, and I'm always tired. May give up sugar as well while I'm at it, but I'm afraid that it will backfire. It would be nice to get rid of these "lesser" addictions, though. I'm pretty sure they don't help for my anxiety.

    Will no caffeine mean the end of me as a person who likes the nocturnal hours? Probably not, the romantic in me enjoys sunsets and moonlight too much to abandon that. On topic with one of the best songs I've heard. The perfect soundtrack for those late summer evenings when darkness takes over.

    Before my eyes nocturnal curtains fall,
    The dark and gentle haze of the night, greedily devours all.


     
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  19. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Day five. Friday night. I'd lie if I said that I don't want to look. I do. That's what I'm programmed to do. What can I do instead? I kinda want to watch a film, might shut off the laptop and do that. After it should be late enough to go to bed.
     
  20. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    I gave in. At least the caffeine project is underway, and right now that feels more important to focus on. No headache so far, may be worse tomorrow but hopefully the plan worked to eliminate the worst.
     

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