The Road Goes Ever On

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Eternity, Oct 9, 2013.

  1. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Dangerous boredom. It's raining heavily and I'm tired, so I won't be doing much tonight. Yesterday I tried using a scythe, and it seems pretty easy. If I can master it I will probably reduce the size of my lawn. I like the idea of maintaining the garden with ancient techniques. It's too bad that I don't have a good water supply, or I'd probably borrow a few sheep for the summer.

    Well, I haven't much to write today. I'll probably go to bed early, and get up early tomorrow to see whether the weather is good enough for cycling to work.
     
    Gil79 likes this.
  2. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    But one week in again, right? Moments like these are tricky, but also important. Keep in mind that a lot of negative feelings that may come are reboot related.
     
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  3. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Like ten days and a week of no* sugar, so I probably fight at two frontiers which makes it rougher. When I'm in this mood I don't like to write in other journals, so I hope that's ok with everyone. I'd rather not try to force something out just for the sake of it; it's hard enough to write something here. I've always had difficulty expressing myself, and when it gets bad it's a true struggle. Well, no pressure. This is for me, so I need to do what works for me.

    I'm going to go work in the field a little before the rain comes (if it does.) Honest physical work is always good, although I bet I'll ache all over tomorrow.

    *No added sugar and if I'm out eating I may have a soda, but I will no longer bring any home.
     
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  4. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Eh, wet dream, urges all day, gave in when I got home. Tomorrow is a holiday, so that probably played a part, too. I tried to resist, but it wasn't enough. Something is missing, clearly.
     
  5. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear you had a slip man. Hope you can find some clarity and rest during the long weekend.
     
    -Luke- likes this.
  6. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Thanks. Disastrous day today, though... As the following day usually is. If only I can get back on track and not prolong the suffering, it's all good, though. Still going strong on the sugar, at least.

    I will try some nature therapy and perhaps get lost in my music library later. Right now I need to be kind to myself and do the things I enjoy.
     
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  7. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Taking a step back helped, I went to bed safely. I'm starting to wonder whether the reboot concept is not too much pressure. I mean, it should be simple: you don't use P. Yet it seems that there are a thousand other things that I also need to do. I need to be so very pure. To me, it takes away anything that is fun and enjoyable. I think that's why I succeeded in the beginning: I focused on no PMO, and then the rest came naturally. Yes, I know that there are other aspects I need to improve on, but it just makes me overload. So, I'll go back to simplicity. I will only deal with PMO. If I want to eat junk food or sleep in late, that's fine. I don't need to be perfect.
     
  8. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Yesterday was pretty good, except for hayfever. I did bedtime MO, but it's much better than the binge from the day before. I was tired but I couldn't fall asleep. It's possibly due to the nap I had in the afternoon, but I had to calm down the hayfever somehow.

    I'm currently cooking lunchboxes, and after that I may go for a walk. It's good to get some things done in the morning for once.
     
  9. occams_razor

    occams_razor Well-Known Member

    This week's been really bad for hay fever. Even antihistamines don't seem to be doing much for it, for me anyway.

    Today doesn't seem as bad so far...
     
  10. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    It has, yeah. I don't want to take any medicines, but it's been worse than ever (though still mild I guess): lots of sneezing and itchy eyes. Taking a shower seems to have helped a bit.

    Rode the bike to work today with a detour on the way home. I don't feel in great shape, but I'm getting faster. Guess I should trust the data.

    Yesterday I found a dead woodpecker near the house. It must have crashed into it, because a loud sound woke me up early. It's sad, it's probably one that's nested in a tree nearby.

    Also relieved that Sweden didn't get Winter Olympics. There are better things to spend money on.
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2019
  11. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Today I've built a makeshift greenhouse for some plants. I hope the plants survive the move from pots so I can enjoy some home grown vegetables later on.

    I also learned that a band I used to be into during my early teens is going on a farewell tour. I rarely listen to them anymore, but I'm sure I'd still know most lyrics. We've talked about regret, and I think I'd really regret not going to one of the shows. I've felt some rare excitement about it, so I'm gonna get a ticket.
     
    Living likes this.
  12. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    That's the first time I noticed your signature. Beautiful quote. So much truth in it. I should definitely read Lord Of The Rings again.
     
  13. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a great idea man !
     
  14. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    Awesome! Sometimes doing things like this alone can be a bit scary...at least to me they are. So really good this you are going. What band is it?

    The greenhouse sounds pretty cool too:)
     
  15. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    Sometimes when you go on your own to a place, just because you truly are into that band or whatever the venue is - it' so fulfilling. You can even causally invite a friend (or not) and if they say yes or no you don't care too much, you are not dependent on that person in order to go and enjoy yourself.

    You are creating your own vibe, and even if a friend accepts and joins he joins your vibe. You don't get lost in "his vibe" cause you're there for your own sincere reasons.

    It's the opposite of when you go to a place just because you're overly desperate to hang out with certain people, when you don't even actually like the place you're going too ... You join they're vibe, which isn't yours, and often the experiences kinda ... sucks.
     
  16. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    @-Luke- I'm reading it again, on book two of The Two Towers now. There's just so much missing in the films, but glad that this one made it.

    @Thelongwayhome27 Got a ticket. I've tried to get others to join me before, but I gave up. A concert for me is 95% about the music anyway, so for single shows I prefer going alone. Festivals, on the other hand, would be nice to have company for. For this very show I definitely want to be on my own, because it's going to be such a nostalgia trip.

    @Living It's definitely hard with my anxiety, but concerts I'm kinda used to. It's still difficult, but at least I know the routines. It's classic Swedish pop band Gyllene Tider. Probably nothing I should be listening to, but I don't care. I like what I like.


    I thought that today was Thursday. Probably because we've had many 4-day weeks recently. The MacGyver'd greenhouse still stands and seem to have kept the rain out. Still worried about the strong wind we often get, though.
     
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  17. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Rough times. I don't think I'm ready to return yet, but I haven't given up.
     
    SeekingWisdom likes this.
  18. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    Ah man, I was going to reply to your post, but it seems I have forgotten...I know quite some Swedish bands (at least more than I can count on one hand), but never heard about Gyllene Tider.

    Sorry to hear about these rough times. Writing a post on here where I write about what happened always helps me. To me that's kinda like 'Okay, this is what I've done and now let's move on'.
     
  19. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    Hey Eternity, I hope you are ok!?
     

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