The Road Goes Ever On

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Eternity, Oct 9, 2013.

  1. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    I had a thought last night and for once it didn't seem to be impossible: to give up drinking sodas. I consider quitting even more difficult than PMO. I have only been consuming on weekends for a long time now, but it's not good enough. My teeth are suffering, and I don't know how much more they can take before the damage is irreversible. Even so, I won't stop. It's the highlight of the weekend.

    I have managed to quit in the past. Last year I went without for months. I have written down a plan, and unlike PMO it's something I can slowly back away from. I think I will be more likely to follow a written schedule.

    If all goes as planned, this should be the first important step to a more healthy diet.
    Caoimhín likes this.
  2. Caoimhín

    Caoimhín Winter's coming...

    An effective and important thing to do for you health! I did this several years ago and never looked back. Although, I do consume sparkling water from time to time.
  3. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    I was getting excited about riding the bike to work on Friday. Apparently it's going to snow tomorrow, though. Well, I got the whole winter kit, so that's still the plan, snow or no snow. I probably spend too much money on cycling, but it's the only costly interest I've got. Others spend as much on travels etc, but that's not for me. I decided to invest in a power meter, which should make cycling even more fun. I enjoy seeing improvements and analyzing data, so it's been on my mind to buy one since I first began cycling.

    The bottom line is that I got excited about something! That hasn't happened in a very long time, all I've had is the false excitement from PMO.

    @Caoimhín It certainly has felt better when I've been off it. I highly suspect that if not the cause, it greatly contributes to my acne. I might get a soda if I'm out for lunch etc, but my house is going to be a soda-free zone.
    Gilgamesh likes this.
  4. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Cycling to work failed. It was way too cold (-10C) and I was seriously fearing frostbite for my fingers so I turned back after a couple of km. I felt sick as I got back inside, but whether it is related I don't know. My fingertips are still a bit sensitive.
    Anyway, I'll try again next week. It just sucks that my fingers block me from riding in the cold. I may invest in a turbo trainer for next winter and get a Zwift sub to make it less boring.

    On the PMO front, it's calm. I've had some visions/flashbacks but it's not like I have to balance on a knife's edge. Falling asleep should be easy tonight since I got up earlier this morning. I'm already starting to doze, so I doubt I'll last much later than until 9PM.
  5. Caoimhín

    Caoimhín Winter's coming...

    Just read an article that children in Finland ride their bikes to school all year long and they have fairly cold winters too! Now, I am a complete wimp with the cold and understand how challenging it must be. Good for you for giving it a go. Probably in just a few more weeks, bike season will commence!
  6. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    The problem is that for road bikes, you need to be able to move your fingers for shifting. So, it's difficult to find any good gloves that both allow that and keep the cold out. I bought fairly expensive ones and also liners for them, but it didn't help. Upon reaching a speed of 20km/h the air flow just eats through the layers. I'm always interested in finding something that actually works, but I'm not sure I want to spend much more. I'm curious about bar mitts, perhaps they'd do the trick. They look ridiculous, but I'd rather look ridiculous than freezing my fingers off. But yeah, winter's coming to an end so it's not something I'll spend more on this season... probably. It has been known to be rather cold throughout March.

    The more I read, the more intrigued I am by bar mitts. One reviewer used them in well below -10 and was still comfy. I think I'll bite. I know that this is turning into more of a cycling blog, but isn't that the point, to shift one's thoughts away from PMO?
    TrueSelf likes this.
  7. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Cycling to work attempt #2: success. Well, I made it but it was very exhausting. Unsurprisingly I've lost most of the fitness from last year. That said, all I have to do is to gain it back. I should be able to train smarter with the power meter, so hopefully I'll be in good shape for the first sportive of the year in May. I'll never be a pro, but endurance runs in the family. Perhaps some racing at amateur/veteran level could be fun? For now I'm just going to ride scenic sportives, though.

    It seems that I've been free from PMO for a month now. That's the best I've done in a long time and I've hardly had to put in any effort. In a way it scares me because I may be hit hard if urges suddenly hit. On the other hand, it should only get easier.
    Caoimhín likes this.
  8. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Cycling commuted again today. In the morning I had a great tailwind but I knew that the way home would not be as nice. I tried an idea that seemed good in theory; going home by some sheltered gravel roads. But, it was harder than if I had challenged the headwind. The roads were really soft which made it difficult, even in the easiest gear. So, no more of that until the roads are dry. If at all. I think that when I get back some fitness (and the weather is nicer,) I can commute by bike three days a week.

    Anyway, I'm exhausted so it's time to sleep. Exercise is great for dealing with the addiction.
    Caoimhín likes this.
  9. chrism

    chrism It's time to make a change.

    Good effort with the cycling! How far it your commute each way?
  10. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    @chrism Thanks, it's about 20km one way. Perhaps a little harsh after not cycling for a long time, but I felt stronger already during the second commute and recovered faster, so it probably will feel easy soon.

    Last night was the first Friday in ages that I didn't turn on the computer. I ended up watching a summary of the 1989 Tour de France which I've been interested in since seeing how Greg Lemond managed to win despite being 50 seconds behind Laurent Fignon for the final stage. I'm as interested in cycling tech as in the actual riding, so seeing Lemond bring an aerodynamic focus to road cycling (triathlon had adapted it earlier but not pro cycling) is great.

    The addiction has haunted my mind recently, but it's easy to refuse. Also, this is the first weekend without any caffeine, so I shouldn't have to deal with "insomnia" relapses. That was probably the major reason for my Friday relapses.
    Merton likes this.
  11. Merton

    Merton Active Member

    Congrats on going without caffeine! I always wanted to give it up. Then a year and a half ago I really did. Now, although I do not ever have the caffeine buzz, I also do not have any of the negative effects.
  12. -Luke-

    -Luke- Active Member

    That was great. Fignon with his long ponytail and the normal road bike and LeMond with that new stuff you talked about. Incredible how a race over more than 3000 kilometres can be decided by less then 10 seconds.
  13. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    I had a wet dream last night, but I suppose it was about time; historically it's happened like once a month. The important thing is not to let it affect me so that it leads to a relapse. I got some plans for today so it shouldn't happen.

    @Merton Thanks, although I've never had it in heavy doses, it's affected me. The Monday headaches (I only consumed during weekends) are especially bad.

    I love his unusual style with the glasses and all, but to think that the ponytail probably cost him the victory... that's harsh. You could also wonder what had happened if Lemond hadn't missed his food bag at the Alpe d'Huez stage. Either way, it turned out very exciting in the end.
  14. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Alas, there's going to be some terrible weather this week so I don't want to risk it cycling to work. Instead I will do some alternative training. Today I ran for the first time in a month and it went surprisingly well. Although I love cycling, I don't want to give up running (or hiking) completely. I think maintaining a basic level is fine, for the times when I'd rather head out to the woods for a run.

    I did have some urges last night due to the wet dream. I firmly decided not to respond to them. It's getting better, but the fact that there's still a hint of consideration shows that I've got a long way to go still.
  15. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    I sat on the exercise bike for 10 minutes only today. I couldn't stand it any longer; it's too boring. Next time I'll try to watch a documentary or something, maybe that will make me go on for longer.

    Small urges still persist, often in company with flashbacks. It's nothing I can't deal with, though. My mood seems up and down, as well as anxiety levels.

    Something I've thought of today is how extremely restless I am. Maybe that's why I'm often tired. I have a very hard time just sitting down to relax; I need something to occupy my mind. I often have a longing to lean back and listen to music and forget about everything else, but it never happens. There always seems to be something to read or watch, because I dislike missing out on anything new. It's the same novelty chase that's present in a PMO addiction. Perhaps I should at last look into meditation. I need to let my mind rest lest I burn out.
  16. chrism

    chrism It's time to make a change.

    10 minutes of exercise is better than none, so that’s a win. Good idea about the documentary though.

    I have the same experience with regards to chasing novelty. I am constantly trying to find new song, new films, new news, new info about upcoming technology. I find myself try to find new avenues to find new stuff even if it has no direct impact to my life. I think you are right it’s does come from the novelty of P.

    Maybe the longer we are without relapse, the craving to find new things will reduce as well. I hope so anyway because I find that I end up with a negative attitude if I didn’t find some new piece of info in a day which is not good.

    Keep up the good work and hope your next exercise bike session goes well!
  17. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    @chrism I think that man is naturally curious about new things, but the stress of keeping up with everything in modern life is tearing us apart. Something I noticed during my very first reboot attempt was that I got hungry to see and experience new things. I went to concerts and festivals, and I even travelled across the planet. So, even if the craving remains, it may change for more important things?

    Thanks, I had another session today. I managed to endure for 30 minutes, which is good considering that there is no freewheeling. It's a pity that there is no way to measure the effort on the exercise bike. That said, any exercise is good at this point, so for now I don't think I need any specific training.

    I've spent the weekend cleaning and rearranging in the house. I'm slowly getting better at taking care of it, but I've a long way to go still. I wish spring would come so I can start a little outside.
    chrism likes this.
  18. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    I managed 50 minutes on the exercise bike today. Mark Beaumont gives me so much inspiration and motivation. If he rides around the world twice, then I shouldn't complain about a short training session. But, indoors truly is boring. This weekend I'm throwing on the slicks on the old bike and also getting the brand new bike ready, and perhaps taking it for a test spin. I don't mean to make the new bike a sunshine only bike, but the first month I'll be gentle with it. I got a goal for early April to go for a 100k ride, so that's when I'll really break it in.

    I think this is day 40ish, but I still have indecent thoughts. They make fewer and fewer appearances, though.
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  19. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Active Member

    Nice man, you seem to be in a good place right now. Biking is a great and healthy hobby too.

    day 40ish ? Darn, big Respect !
    Eternity likes this.
  20. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Except for the wallet, hah.

    I've started to wonder whether the reason that I'm usually tired is because I sleep too much. I get around 8 hours per night, which shouldn't be too much, but I'm going to experiment with 7 hours. The obvious problem then is boredom, which is often why I go to bed. So, I need to find something to occupy me during the nights. An idea is to take the reading I do out of bed.

    That said, I'm very tired after today's bike commute. I get up an hour earlier as well, so I won't start experimenting until the weekend.

    I've considered some life choices recently. I know very well that I'll never be happy at my current job. But, I lack both motivation and courage to go for something else. That's how broken my mind is right now; I want a new job but I cannot bring out the effort to look for one. People say that you shouldn't do anything that you don't enjoy since life is too short, but that which I enjoy probably wouldn't sustain me. So I need to find the option where I'll suffer the least.

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