Ladies and Gentlemen, I have made the decision to take the 180 day challenge and record every event and emotion that comes my way. This will be a no holds barred journal detailing the very events in life that have led me to this addiction and every tactic I am using to overcome it. There is no "try" or "give it my best" as this seems to be the loser mentality that has kept me from never making it more than three weeks. Men, we were put on this earth to achieve, love, and live every day embracing the beauty of this world. Two minutes of pleasure is a f"cking insult to the beauty of who we are. Do you want to lie on your deathbed and know you were addicted for 70 years because this can become reality unless we take action. I would rather die and lose my life than lead a life enslaved to an addiction; a pornography addiction at that. My addiction and story go back to the time that I was twelve years old (I am 28 by the way). I was an unpopular kid who was treated more like a neighborhood stray dog and never really had any close friends growing up (you can see exactly where this is going). When I was twelve one of my only friends introduced me to porn with Penthouse pics he had cut out from his brother's magazine. I was immediately hooked to the visual delights and the crappy 70s porn VHS that I saw that night as well. Instead of being out with friends and learning to flirt with women as men in the last century did I would scour the internet on dial up looking for my next "hit." This went on until about the age of nineteen when I got my first computer and high speed cable connection. THis is when things escalated out of control and I could masturbate a dozen times a day. The tube sites were the absolute worse because I could edge for six hours straight if it were needed. I was a depressed, couch dwelling loser with no social interactions or ladies in my life. I would look at porn, enjoy the rush, and then contemplate throwing myself from my apartment balcony. Every night I asked God to not let me look at porn again but the next morning all I could think about was that next "hit." I refuse to live like this anymore. The master mason does not build masterpieces by taking glue and gluing more and more stone onto his creation until it is a masterpiece. He creates his art by stripping away all the excess until he has something beautiful right before him. Gentlemen, this is exactly what we need in our lives. We are perfect in our own flesh and need to get rid of the limiting beliefs and bullshit that clutter our minds. Get rid of the porn and get rid of the false beliefs that marketing and consumerism have fed us. We are raised to believe that sex is the holy idol of life and that we need to buy everything and use every product available or we will never be able to get laid. There is an entire PUA movement selling men false hopes and dreams. This is because the power to seduce and be happy in life is already planted inside us by our maker. We just have to ignore the distractions and look in the mirror and say, "You are perfect the way you are." The time has come for us to take back power and live in the moment. I am currently reading "Beyond Belief" which is the story of Josh Hamilton. I am not a baseball fan so I am not familiar with his story but reading it is truly remarkable. He had the entire world in his hands but squandered it with cocaine. The triumph is not that he fell but that he overcame his addiction and is playing the game again. This has inspired me to overcome this addiction. My strategy is simple: no internet media in my apartment. I cancelled my internet and use the coffee shop when I need to get online. My Blackberry has been my worse enemy so it is not allowed in my apartment. I leave it at my parents house about ten miles away and pick it up on the way to school. I know this sounds extreme but I have never gotten "that call" which changed my life in 28 years so I am not expecting it now. If I miss a call they can leave it on voice mail. Internet filters do not work for me as I find ways around them. Addiction always starts the same way: we are tempted, we tell ourselves we can handle it, and then we cave and log onto the computer. I have been down this road countless times and it always ends the same way. You are not going to have internet in your house and think your "iron will" will keep you free of this sin. This only leads to more frustration and pain. Well enough about my background. I will post every days events and what I am doing different in life and will tell you how it all feels 180 days from now. I wish each of you the best and don't ever tell yourseld you can't do this. Make the decision now and embrace the pain of withdrawal and know that pain is weakness leaving the body. Take care!