Hey everyone New thread just to track my progress somewhere. I'll try not to get too long boring. A bit about me, I'm a 34 year old married man from England. I'm a foster carer so have the days to myself at home, which is part of the problem. My story seems to be a bit different from most guys here as I've always been honest with my wife about my porn use and masturbation to it. Admittedly I held back the details of changing sexual tastes (which had got pretty extreme towards the end) but I had never brought that into the bedroom so I'll probably keep that to myself forever :/ I told my wife about the extent of my porn habit yesterday evening. I wanted to get it right and be clear from the beginning so I wrote a letter: I love you, no need to worry too much, just read I need to tell you about pornography. Rather than going into detail straight away, here is some information about: PIED - Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction Many porn users report that delayed ejaculation (difficulty climaxing during partnered sex) was a precursor to their erectile dysfunction. Years of porn use can cause a variety of symptoms, which when examined, lie on a spectrum. It's likely that a combination of fast and hard masturbation methods, desensitisation of the reward circuitry and sensitised addiction pathways are behind these various symptoms, which include: Losing erection while attempting penetration Difficulty reaching climax with a partner Decreasing sensitivity of penis Declining sexual arousal with sexual partner(s) Changing sexual preferences Can't ejaculate (or perhaps maintain erection) with oral sex or intercourse Masturbating without porn is “unsatisfying,” or difficult Little or no stimulation from penetrative sex Needing to fantasize to maintain erection Sounds familiar doesn’t it Just to put this into context (and it’s not something I’ve ever denied) I’ve had access to high speed internet since I was about 14 so that’s 20 years of porn and sexualised imagery/literature whenever I wanted it. Pretty much every day of my life I’d find time to masturbate and most of the time I would use porn to make it quicker. If I was bored, if I was happy, if I was sad, I’d “just have a quick wank” I didn’t even think it was unusual because all my friends do it too, the internet says that’s what all guys do. I hear people talk about smoking and they say things like “I smoke because it de-stresses me” I always listened to that argument and laughed because I understood they were only stressed in the first place because of withdrawal from the nicotine. I have the exact same feeling when I don’t masturbate, a stressed urge to watch some porn and get off. The other day when I came home from the football and you were upstairs laying on the bed in sexy underwear I was SO happy, but at the same time my heart sank as the expectation of performance sunk in. I hadn’t taken a pill to guarantee an erection and I knew immediately that I was going to have problems. I love being naked with you, kissing, touching and having sex more than anything but that wasn’t enough for my body to react the way it should when someone as beautiful as you is naked in front of them. I put a brave face on it, like I always do, and put it on-hold in the back of my mind. The next day I brought it back to the front and assessed my feelings, thought back and asked myself “when was the last time I orgasmed during sex” the answer, as best I can remember it, is 2 years ago on the cruise. This obviously isn’t normal so I started doing research into my symptoms online and came across the website YourBrainOnPorn this site had links to TED talks about Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction and a forum where tens of thousands of men, from all over the world, were sharing the exact same issues. Here is the good news: It is all reversible! The forum is littered with success stories of guys who have recovered their erections, libido and penis sensitivity. It is called Rebooting (most of the terms are computer based as it seems to be nerds like me most effected, which makes sense given access to computers and traditional difficulties with ladies) The path to Rebooting mainly involves abstaining from fantasy. No porn, no sexual pictures, no sex scenes or nudity on TV, no reading about sex or daydreaming about it. Most men report that after 60 days they start to see major differences, but full Rebooting can take up to a year. Sex is allowed although not necessarily encouraged but there are difficulties, such as feeling a bit down for the first couple of weeks and Flatlining (a lot of guys report losing all interest in sex and being unable to achieve an erection during this Flatline period. It can show up at any point and last a random amount of time, but usually happens some time in the first 45 days) From YBOP “Understand that after years of abusing your brain's reward centre you have come to love the feeling of a dopamine high, we all do. Quitting porn will not make you hate dopamine, but if successful you can return to normal levels, meaning you will get your dopamine the old fashioned way, though actual sex with the woman you love. But, between there and now are withdrawals. That is your brain fighting you rewiring it. They hurt” I started my Reboot on Sunday 5th Feb so I’m only really at the very beginning. I wish I had understood this stuff earlier, but we are both still young, attractive and healthy. I WILL get past this and we have plenty of time to have great, mutually satisfying sex together! I don’t really know how to end this other than to say I love you. While she was reading I didn't know where to look. I fussed the dog and looked at my phone because I didn't want her to feel like she was being watched. Then she reached over and took my hand, smiled and said "That explains a lot, I've always thought there was something strange about you taking forever to cum" And that was it. We had a long chat about it, came up with a plan and I'm now on day 5. Really hoping this Rebooting works so I can be the man (with the penis) that she deserves!