The Resurrected [GROUP] (3 spots remaining)

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by newself, Aug 25, 2013.

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Group Name

  1. Platoon of the Resurrected

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. The Resurrected

    60.0%
  3. No Fap International

    20.0%
  4. The Internationals

    40.0%
  1. newself

    newself I can. I will. I must.

    That's good to hear Sammy. It's good you take it so seriously. Sometimes I don't see it that way, and that's when I lose my step.

    I was studying today, and I came across theories of behavioral change.

    I was thinking maybe we could do this as a group excercise.

    One theory (Stages of change) talks about how behavioral change does not happen in one step, and in actuality, there are may more.

    1. Precontemplation: We do not see our behavior as a problem
    2. Contemplation: Acknowledges that our behavior is a problem, but we aren't ready to confront it.
    3. Preparation/Determination: Getting ready to confront our problem
    4. Action/Willpower: Changing our behavior
    5. Maintenance: Maintaining changed behavior
    6. Relapse.

    Also, another talks about behavioral change in terms of motivation.

    Behavioral Change has to be determined and purposeful.

    Our motivation stimulates a person to act on our needs.

    1. Needs + Goals provide motivation
    2. Short range goals are more easily achieved
    3. Goals should be attractive/attainable
    4. Goals directed activity is necessary for learning.

    So one thing I thought we could do as a group is consider our motivation for quitting PMO.

    Can we as a group answer these questiosn?

    1. What is your motivation for quitting PMO?
    2. Something difficult about this behavior is that we are trying to STOP, and not START something. So we have to learn how to recognize and channel our urges to PMO into something else. What do you want to achieve in your life with the energy you usually put towards PMO?
     
  2. Anónimo25

    Anónimo25 My hand... It hurts.

    We have made some great advances today, and i was away all this time (i log in mostly at night before sleep).

    Hello to you, group, and welcome Jimmy, glad to see you are here. Also, glad to see we already have a name and more spots open :)

    Just came here to say some things: i will be roaming the web looking for an adecuate image for us, sending via private messages (to keep this board clean of unnecessary/irrelevant info) any interesting stuff i find to you.

    I also wanted to ask if i should share delayed orgams/anorgasmia info here, since i think i'm the only one in the group with this affliction (could be useful for outsiders though).

    Finally, i will answer these last questions:

    1) I'm prideful. I can't stand the idea of being lead by an addiction: i quit smoking tobbaco and weed years ago, i'm not comfortable with taking any medications (legal drugs), only drink alcohol once in a while. The reason is not "because it's bad", it's because the life can't be directed for agents external to your will - so, i consider these pathogens and the search of them misleading, and a distraction from higher goals. Well, PMO has become a pathogen, i must get rid of it.

    To resume, i have sub-objectives such as: to recover penis sensitivity, to beat anorgasmia, to improve the whole relationship with my girlfriend and so on, but my main incentive is: i respect myself too much like to keep in this situation, where i feel like having a 2nd life full of secrets/dishonesty/shame.

    2) I've consumed a lot of time PMOing, that has made me neglect some aspects in my life. I want to regain that time *to fix what has been damaged by my lack of care - *to enhance my knowledges and skills, as much as the relation with my environment.

    Before leaving, i want to inform i will be off for some days because my girl is gonna visit me. That's all, take care guys.
     
  3. SammyBattery

    SammyBattery New Member

    Anonimo, yes you should share your DE problems. Usually for people like me with ED (and probably now PE) problems, there is strong risks of suffering from DE after the reboot for a while.

    1) [list type=decimal]
    [*]Train my willpower, see how strong it affects other aspects in my life
    [*]Get Vitality and Energy back, Live a healthy life, use my time more intelligently
    [*]Enjoy the feeling of being with a real woman, make love passionately without anxiety and ED problems
    [/list]

    2) [list type=decimal]
    [*]I want to exploit my creativity, draw, paint, write. My foggieness and addiction wouldn't let me
    [*]I want to enter more conversations, socialise, laugh with people, share my experience and tell them about the benefits of quitting
    [*]I want to get in the best physical shape of my life by my birthday next summer
    [/list]

    Guys, I myself will also be absent a bit the next weeks. I have to hand in my thesis in 10 days and i'm behind, so it's very stressful. It's also a good way to test, if i have enough willpower to stay strong and not relieve the stress by PMOing or Eating and opening the Dopamine-pandora box like i would in the past. Sometimes the easy way is not the best way.
     
  4. newself

    newself I can. I will. I must.

    1. I want to quit PMO because it robs me of my confidence. When I am engaging in PMO I always feel insecure about myself. It is also the way I escape from life.

    2. I want to engage life. I want to have confidence in myself. I want to have that feeling that I am living. I want to develop self control, and will power to do what I want to do.
     
  5. Hapii

    Hapii New Member

    1, I want to quit PMO because it make me loose so much time.. As a graphic designer i work on my computer and i spend more time on porn than on photoshop.. And also it make me lose all my inspiration and this is not cool. And i want to do it for my girlfriend too.

    2, There are several thing such as getting up my fat ass do to sports again. To continue to play the guitar and to draw again.

    PS: Since i quit a few days ago, i start to feel the diference. I have this extra energy that i need to spend you know.
     
  6. Wara

    Wara New Member

    Hey guys! Sorry for not being so good as a group member so far. I'd like to just check in once a week. I want to stay offline as much as possible. That might be good for you guys as well; no immediate access to porn.

    I wouldn't say that I'm a porn addict though. I don't even have any urges to O on my own despite the withdrawal symptoms i went through.

    1. What is your motivation for quitting PMO?

    I'd like to return to being a healthy normal man. I won't blame all my problems on PMO but I'm certain that it has caused somethings that are undesirable. One of those undesirable effects is my lack of enjoying anything in life. I wonder if the constant excess from PMO damaged my ability to enjoy normal things in life or maybe my inability to enjoy the normal things made me look for the excess?

    2. Something difficult about this behavior is that we are trying to STOP, and not START something. So we have to learn how to recognize and channel our urges to PMO into something else. What do you want to achieve in your life with the energy you usually put towards PMO?

    I don't really put much energy into PMO since around late 2011 i was already losing interest in having orgasms i would go maybe a week or so without. But then after a break from it I would binge and then stop again. I think the binging on it all these years has caused sexual exhaustion. Maybe that's all my problem is. But i figure the cure for it is still removing PMO.

    I'll probably see you a guys in a weeks time. I'm more confident that I'll kill myself before reaching day 90 than I'll masturbate before day 90.
     
  7. SammyBattery

    SammyBattery New Member

    I think this is a key issue to discuss. Wara already mentioned this in my journal, and I feel that a lot of people who give advice in this forum tend to forget that everyone's addiction is different. Yes, we all have problems with PMO. But to which degree are these 3 things related for everyone?
    Here are 3 examples:
    • Some folks are only hooked to P. purely because of the visuals. They can't abstain from a type of voyeurism they've assimilated into a routine. M and O are not their main interest, they just get their rush from looking at as many scenes as possible. That's why some guys have counters only for "P" and not M or O.
    • Others are accustomed to constant & compulsive touching, edging or masturbating for minutes, even hours. For them P. is just a tool to take the experience as far and as long as possible, wasting a lot of time navigating back and forth from one tab to another. O simply closes off their PM sitting. This behaviour can likely lead to Delayed Ejaculation.
    • Finally there are people, like me, who never have more than a 5 minute session on Porn sites. The primary objective is just to O as fast as possible and kick away the anxiety, restlessness, irritability, sweating withdrawal symptoms. Much like a heroin junkie, a quick "fix" is vital so that we can do other more important tasks in our day. This makes us extremely vulnerable to ED and PE because we execute many rapid sessions per day (up to 5-6 a day). We can live without P., we just want to get rid of the inner tension as fast as possible. It just happens that P and the "Constant Novelty" it offers, works a lot faster than our own fantasies.

    What are your thoughts on this, and what does your addiction really consist of ?
     
  8. newself

    newself I can. I will. I must.

    Hey sammy,

    thanks for the break down. i am the second category there.

    turned 27 a couple days ago. and doing no fap fall.

    trying to refocus my will today. got a huge test coming up in two days. wish me luck guys. if you pray, pray for me.

    might not be active much for the next couple. will be back soon. wish me luck.
     
  9. newself

    newself I can. I will. I must.

    been quiet in here. let me know when you guys are back. maybe wel'll try to recruit some new members from no fap fall or no fap september.

    hope you're all staying strong.

    i've been doign great lately. my test is over. going to stop being so isolated, so i hope i can get back up. on day 10 baby.
     
  10. Wara

    Wara New Member

    I'm still surviving. And glad that you're doing great currently. Recruiting new guys would be a good thing. I don't spend too much time online so I'm not as helpful as I'd like to be. Keep it up though, Newself. We'll win this yet!
     
  11. SammyBattery

    SammyBattery New Member

    I had a not so good 10 days with lots of stress and edging. But luckily managed to not watch P or relapse. Now that the stress is a bit lighter, I'm counting on getting back on track. Yes we need more members. Good to see you are continuing to fight. There is no other way, we NEED to beat this.
     
  12. newself

    newself I can. I will. I must.

    Relapsed again. dont' feel like the forums are helping me much so I'm going to take a break for a while.

    good luck all. thank you for your support. i will keep up the fight.
     
  13. a4c444

    a4c444 New Member

    Any spots remaining on here?
     
  14. tobuildahome

    tobuildahome New Member

    Age: 20
    Location: Chicago
    Longest streak: A little over a month
    Current status/streak with no PMO or P or MO: 10 days
    Approach to beating PMO: No PMO for life. Fast, meditate, and exercise. Rewire to spirituality instead of women. Get a support group.
    Goals: No PMO for 3 months at first, then 9, then life. Miditate every day for 20 min. Fast every sunday til noon after waking up before 9 am. I'm in college so walk everywhere I go - unless its really really cold outside. Before it gets cold, make micro patterns like "After I do a pomodoro, I will alternate 25 crunches and 15 pushups"

    Motivation: I want to be a monk. ED is in a way good, loss of libido is good, but all this other stuff that comes with porn is bad - like horrible concentration, no will power, waste of time, no motivation to do anything. Also: it may happen that I don't become a monk, in which case - ED is NOT OK. This is not for shits and giggles.
     
  15. Psalm 51:2

    Psalm 51:2 Wash away all my iniquity, cleanse me from my sin.

    Are you guy still active? Can I send a private message with presentation?
     

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