We are all here because we realize watching porn and masturbating to it has detrimental effects to our lives. Thus, we are here to stop it. We have all heard from all kinds of people, all kinds of reasons to why we keep doing that. And I don't disagree, there are a lot of factors to why you are watching porn and masturbating to it. Most people say, that the approach each of us take to stop it differs from individual to individual. Though this makes sense, the extent to which our approaches differ is so unimportant, because we all share the same goal and the same problem. My point is, that there is one thing we all do wrong. There is an illusion that we all take for real. You see, our addiction is not just a porn addiction, it is a double addiction. First there is the porn addiction and then is the masturbation addiction. Now don't get me wrong, porn is the main culprit, but let me explain. There are two connections in the brain, the first one is watching porn and sexual arousal, and the second one is masturbating and sex. Don't you ever have the urge to watch porn, just to watch porn? Without any intention to masturbate? That's because the brain has linked watching porn with the pleasure of sexual arousal. That's the first illusion. Men don't just get sexually aroused by spotting a woman. Sexual arousal comes from interaction with another person. What a man does to get sexually aroused by a woman walking down the road, is zooming to that ass and suddenly all kinds of porn scenes and fantasies flood the brain. The illusion is that there is no human interaction. Every time you watch porn, every time you fantasize, there is one piece off the puzzle, you are alone. There is no interaction, whether you are thinking, whether you are watching man-made lights changing colors (pixels), holding an anorganic substance (smartphone), there is one thing happening: You are alone. We humans have the natural tendency to connect with others, to love. Why do you get sexually aroused, when there's no other person teasing you? Why do you connect with your phone, with pixels? Well, if you can call that a connection, to me you are still alone. It's okay, we have been tricking ourselves all this time, so the connection is there. But because it's a fraud, trust me, it easily collapses. Then there is the masturbation addiction. It happens due the same illusion, but the connection to the brain is different. So, why did I say that porn is the main culprit? That's because usually nobody craves to just masturbate, it all starts with porn. It's only when you are sexually aroused that you get the urge to masturbate. We again humans naturally wanna form connections with other people, get in contact with them and even in sexual manner. The illusion once again is that when you masturbate, there is no human interaction, you are alone. I'm not saying masturbation is bad, even though it might be, but masturbation to porn looks like it is. That's because you never intended to masturbate alone, you fall into the trap of believing that you are with the people you are watching. But again, you are alone. Holding a piece of anorganic matter? Doesn't matter, you are alone. There is no human interaction. That's why sometimes when you get the urge to watch porn, but suddenly somebody comes to your room, or you call somebody, chat with somebody either on the internet or in contact, the urge fades away. Because we want to connect and love, don't get your urges wrong. You cannot connect with yourself, connection by definition requires two ends. Don't fool yourself. When you get the urge, it's an urge to connect, it's our fault that we turn to porn for that. To conclude, the foundation of our addiction is just a lie we tell ourselves. It took me by surprise to watch my favourite porn with that in mind and get no urge to masturbate. I thought "But there is no girl, I'm gonna go alone in the bathroom. No sexual intercourse, just me. Nothing is gonna change, again, I'll end up alone.". So I just closed the tabs. And that leads to how I wanna aid with our recovery. NoA. Aka No Arousal method by bigbookofpenis (Nice nickname btw). Here is a link to know what I'm referring to: https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/for...ousal-method-celibacy-of-body-and-mind.14525/ The No Arousal method (NoA) is essentially a way to stop watching porn by eliminating any kind of stimuli that could urge you to do so. That includes fantasies or looking at sexy women. While this method works in theory, there are some practical issues I wanna discuss and I am gonna do so while giving you my experience with this method. Before that, I wanna say that it's a good and somewhat reliable way to stop watching porn. I mean, if you never get the urge to, you never will right? So, in my case I didn't have to stop watching butts on Instagram, because I had deleted all kinds of social media except YouTube since years ago. I also installed a porn blocker. Changes you can do to your environment can help you make better decisions. After all it was your choice to makes those changes to your environment. It's not internal vs external change, it's the same. You have to have an internal shift to decide to manage your environment. However, relying too much on the environment makes you fall out of place, when something in it falls out of place as well. What I also did was whenever a porn related thought came to mind I quickly scrapped that and snapped into reality. It all worked perfectly until one of my friends at group chat send us a very teasing hentai gif. Even though I closed the app, I had already been exposed to it and couldn't get it off my mind. That day I relapsed and here's what I learned: You see, talking to friends is not something we should stop and even if I request they don't send me porn stuff, there is somewhere else I would be exposed to it. Nowadays, in this modern age, I think it's really impossible to not get exposed to porn. Somewhat randomly, but it's bound to happen eventually. Having not been stimulated all those weeks, that gif did the job for me. It only makes sense to accept that you will be exposed to porn and just face it. About that, there was a page in https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ that I don't seem to find, in which somebody suggested a different approach to rebooting. Here is how it goes: First you fantasize about porn and try to get to the point of climax by just using imagination. When you are just about to reach that point, you delete everything from your mind and leave it blank. Our brains, the porn - conditioned ones expect a reward after porn. So, by stopping everything last minute, you are essentially rewiring your brain to link porn with disappointment. As you can tell I experimented with that as well. My issue was the same, whenever I got exposed to actual porn, I could not resist, it's not as easy to stop as fantasy. Finally, learning from all those wonderful people, we conclude to this method: Do you remember when I was talking about the illusions we have? That there is no human interaction, the thing that we really desire, in PMO? Thinking about that can make you not get aroused even by porn. If you really acknowledge the fact that you are alone, and that what you used to believe was people is just your phone, there nothing to arouse you from porn. If you zoom out of the screen, you can clearly see yourself, alone, in a room. Say to yourself: "I'd like to have some fun with somebody, I'd like to be aroused or even have sex. Now though, I'm alone and that's impossible until I reach out to somebody." and trust me, you are just gonna close the tabs out of pure disappointment of porn. Even if you get turned on, there is the second part of the addiction to stop. Say "I'd really like to have sex now, but I can't because I'm alone. When I'm masturbating and even after I'm done, during all that I'm alone." and see yourself getting turned off. I suggest doing this everyday for sometime. Open a porn tab intentionally, just to realize that it is not real and get the experience into your head, that you can be exposed to porn and not get aroused. I choose to open a porn tab of all things, because I believe in our world it's impossible to not get stimulated. You have to be able to reject watching porn as you are exposed to a porn site. After all, that's how you stop the addiction, not by betting on luck that you are never gonna get exposed to porn, but by being exposed to it and rejecting it face on. Don't worry that you might be supporting the porn site you will visit by providing traffic. You are really saving yourself by a lifetime's worth of visits. Do this drill daily until you feel like there is no point in opening a site, if the only thing that's going to happen is disappointment and closing the tab. To sum it up, we humans want interaction with other humans, generally with the world. We want to love the world, so we can be happy however it might be. Watching porn, getting turned on by it and ending up masturbating to it, all happens because we lie to ourselves. In our desire to connect, we end up by ourselves. Don't mask such egocentric activities, as love and connection, when it's exactly the opposite, loneliness and isolation. Believe in this simple and well known truth, explain it to yourself, do research, do whatever it takes to understand that truth, for our porn addiction lies in lie.