The Orgasm Reboot: A New Approach [CONTROVERSIAL]

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by TheUnderdog, Sep 8, 2012.

  1. geordie

    geordie New Member

    as mentioned previously in this thread i have started to try this out. tomorrow is 21 days for me no p and my previous best was 17 days no p or m. i like the idea of breaking the relationship between p and m and treating them on their own merit. i would say that maybe i have m'd a bit too much and so im gonna try and not m at all this week. im not gonna be hard on myself as i have done this on purpose to stop using porn and i know from previous reboots that this is acheivable. if i can go 18 days no pmo i can certainly go 7 days without m. then by this time next week i'll be 27 days no P and that to me sounds fantastic.
     
  2. I wouldn't go so far to say that masturbation is natural. On Garys site he describes several secluded African tribes that don't even have a word for masturbation. When they tried to explain it to the tribes they just laughed and couldn't believe such a thing existed.

    The real culprit here is porn though, I agree. I'm choosing not to M because I want to reboot faster and I want to avoid the chaser effect which is very real for me.
     
  3. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    tribes
    I think it's a flaw in Western culture. The gap between beginning of sexual development and beginning of sexual intercourses. You just have to vent your sexual energy a few years until the real deal with a real girl become culturally acceptable. It was shown that average age of losing virginity in Europe is about 16 years. You start to become functional at something about 10-12. What other choice do you have in those 4-6 years?
     
  4. This is a very interesting discussion. My goal from day 1 has been to quit porn. Quitting MO is a secondary goal. Prehaps masturbation alone is okay, but for me porn and masturbation has become intertwined. For years I have almost exclusively masturbated and orgasmed only while watching porn. And 90% of the times I did not look at porn, I was thinking about porn.

    So if I become able to masturbate and orgasm without porn, I suppose things would be different. Of course, how different is it to look at porn and masturbate or look at pictures of women in swimsuits and masturbate? how about looking at hardcore porn or imagining a hardcore porn scene?

    So while abstaining from MO remains a secondary goal. The primary goal is to never look at porn. Not only not look at porn, but also not think about porn.
     
  5. anonmoose

    anonmoose New Member

    I share your goals, except I plan to massively decrease the amount that I MO. PMO has caused me to have ED, which in turn has completely devastated my sex life. MO and P have also become intertwined for me.

    I tried MOing to items that wouldn't normally be considered pornographic (Facebook pics, bikini pics) during my last recent reboot attempt before I found YBP/YBR and about three years ago. I literally just replaced P with these images and MOed to them. It didn't work for me. I didn't notice any positive effects from this, other than it being initially difficult to MO to these types of pics, but with time and effort it became possible.

    Now that I'm on my twelfth day of a reboot without P and my fifth day without MO, I'm already starting to notice some minor benefits. I had a moment where my eyes teared up a little listening to some sad music (feeling emotion again), I had a brief spontaneous sex fantasy while dazing off at one point yesterday (haven't had those in a long time), and I woke up with some very minor wood this morning (haven't had that in quite some time).

    If you must MO, I think it's important to do it without anything visual and without replaying images of porn you've watched in your head. Imagine relations with real girls, the way guys would MO before internet porn and when it was still taboo to have porn magazines.
     
  6. Just A Name

    Just A Name New Member

    Hmm, well I tried MO without thinking of anything, and it kinda worked. No fantasizing , no looking at anything.
    Didn't feel any shame or setback afterwards, even though it's technically a relapse.
     
  7. hoodlumofmercy

    hoodlumofmercy New Member

    That just means when you find that someone you love more than anything and will do anything for, you've got something special to give her. She doesn't have to worry about competing with your sexual history.

    From my perspective... My wife likes it when I O in her and she wants me to. Plus by make sure I'm looking at her and we're emotionally and spiritually connected, I can't help but thing that when I O during that kind of sex, it actually helps.
     
  8. JDoe

    JDoe No amount of pixels is ever gonna love you back...

    Hell yes to this! The Os I experience when I'm looking my wife right in the eyes and feeling totally CONNECTED and PRESENT with her in that moment...that is the most mind-blowing sex ever! She has been my only sexual partner for nearly half my life now - and nothing I ever experienced via PMO or with prior sexual partners comes anywhere close to what I can have with her.
    Having sex with someone you truly love is one of the greatest joys there is in this life...and I can only imagine it to be a healing thing.
     
  9. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    If you're saying I should wait until I'm married, or until I'm in love, NO! I don't want to wait. I've already been told by my parents and other people I know it's best to wait until I'm married or in love, but that's just their opinions. And I respectfully decline their advice. To me, my virginity is nothing special, just a status where you hadn't had sex, ever.

    I want to have sex because I'm ready. Not because someone's pressuring me to. And I avidly believe sex can be for fun, because I hear it's fun haha
     
  10. hoodlumofmercy

    hoodlumofmercy New Member

    Relax... Deep breath.... It's okay...

    I'm not saying you have to do anything. Just giving my .02 from a guy who's didn't lose it until 21 and who has also had it. Take or turn down whatever advice you want. It's your win/loss. Just saying the V-card ain't a curse, man.
     
  11. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    sorry man.... It's just hard to find someone who's into casual sex when you live in a city that isn't promiscuous. That's why I'm pissed off sometimes. I think it's a curse when you never even made a choice to be a virgin at my age. For people like me, living in a nonpromiscuous city + living with parents who don't approve of promiscuity (plus living at home where we barely pay the monthly rent) + having been addicted to PMO, keeps you from losing your V-card even when you really want to.
     
  12. Ignas1234

    Ignas1234 New Member

    Stop masturbating. Fuck all that liberal bullshit about masturbation being healthy shit that you should do every day
     
  13. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Who me? I never even said I masturbate everyday! Yes, you shouldn't do it everyday, but doing it every once in a while is fine. Just my $0.2. I said PMO plus my parents, the tight-money situation, the town I live in, kept me from ever losing my virginity even though I never really decided to be a virgin. Even without the PMO, I still can't lose it. So, maybe I should abstain from MO for a while, even though it's already been 4 days since the last time. My lack of confidence is so obvious to everybody who sees me.
     
  14. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    This thread does not encourage daily (or even frequent) masturbation.

    Don't know where you're getting that idea from.
     
  15. thirst

    thirst New Member

    I was off a belief after hearing on the news, "masterbating daily will help keep testicular cancer down", that masterbating daily is the way to go.

    How about the idea of storing and using our sexual energy in a deliberate fashion? By cumming all over the world we are literally shooting our energy away with it.

    The practise of watching our sexual energy and moving it around the body has been a big help for me.

    http://www.taichimaster.com/tai-chi/taoist-sexual-practices/

    Interpret at your own will.

    Further more, I've M twice during my PMO free 90 reboot. An it has been due to stress and rejection. They are reactive ways of responding and using sexual energy. Perhaps wanting to connect more in with my body and relax is a good way to think of it.

    Honestly, I don't believe there is a perfect way. For example Buddhist monks and nuns are told to meditate on rotting corpses to see that all we are craving is essentially flesh and is continuously decaying. That is an extreme way to reduce sexual craving and clinging.
     
  16. Suspect

    Suspect New Member

    I agree alot with the opening post

    Im 20, and have been in a reboot for a while now - check out my thread

    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=1102.0

    As in 20 and grew up watching porn, im not too disheartened about my progress being slower

    But what I can say is

    I dont reset my counter to 1 when i masturbate
    I have quit porn for the WHOLE reboot, not once have i looked at porn and I consider myself not addicted. It has been 4 months without porn and I do not miss it one bit.
    I do not have a strong chaser effect when I have masturbated.
    I masturbate only when I feel a huge sudden trigger urge too, - as my libido is still low, I do not get this urge much, so my masturbation is kept to a minimum (6 7 times in 4 months).

    The main goal is to get off PED for me and many, and stopping PORN is the main factor, even though I am reducing orgasm too.

    As I am single, I need to masturbate sometimes, to relieve stress etc, if someone has a gf maybe it would be easier.

    But yeh, I'm agreeing with alot of the op and doing alot of it currently for the past 4 months
     
  17. Chezdon

    Chezdon New Member

    This is the best post about quitting masturbation that I've seen. This is what people keep missing. Why set a target of a number of days to reach? What happens once you hit 90 days?

    I've been following "no fap" for a few years now. Never got any further than about 20 days because my biggest problem is I always make excuses.

    I think the easiest way to beat the addiction is to keep yourself busy. Also having no access to the internet helps massively but this isn't really possible for most people. I've had a big change in habits because I've been sleeping in hostels for the last year of my life as I've been travelling. It's helped a lot, but once I bought a laptop I fell back in to my old ways of checking out my favourite pornstars and wacking off whenever I got a chance. In fact I just did again.

    I also find that a lot of the time I tell myself, "Ah I'll just start afresh on Monday". Which is what I have pretty much just done now. I'm also in a remote town with next to no females so I tell myself it's ok to beat it to porn, as no other release is available to me. I know I have to look past that though.

    Anyway, I just wanted to give a bit of background and where I'm coming from. To stay on topic, I agree that porn and masturbation should be looked at separately as well. There is no way I will stop myself from orgasming until I find another partner, but I will certainly try my hardest to stop being so dependent on porn. Small steps. Once I find myself in an environment again where sex is a possibility (working 80 hour weeks now and in a remote town, as I said) I will try and stop the masturbating as well. I see myself being in this situation until June next year, so stopping everything cold turkey now just seems impossible.

    Another problem I have with porn is I think to myself will I ever get pleasure in such a way from such beautiful women in the real world? I think the realistic answer for most of us is most certainly no, which is why we watch it. This is the hardest part of stopping watching porn for me.

    Glad I found this forum - hopefully it will help me get through this.
     
  18. JDoe

    JDoe No amount of pixels is ever gonna love you back...

    That's what I call a "self-fulfilling prophecy."
    You believe you'll never have sex with a beautiful woman, so you just use porn to fill that void. And in the process, you turn yourself into the sort of person who has no chance of ever going out and pursuing a beautiful woman to have sex with!

    (BTW: I'm not judging you here mate...I definitely understand the sentiment you're conveying here, and I don't think you're alone in feeling it.)

    We humans sure are strange creatures... :eek:
     
  19. Chezdon

    Chezdon New Member

    I see what you mean. I have had sex with some beautiful women that most guys would kill to be with (no e-brag, just being honest). But there's having sex with beautiful women then there's having sex with beautiful women who indulge in all of your fantasies. That's what I was getting at. :)
     
  20. JDoe

    JDoe No amount of pixels is ever gonna love you back...

    Oh, I do hear you bro. ;) On the other hand, I don't think it's impossible to find a beautiful woman who will indulge you in all your fantasies either. It might be harder to find, no doubt, but I reckon that would be worth the search - right?

    Fantasy is a funny thing though. In my experience, sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality...
    I like to recall that old phrase "be careful what you wish for; you just might get it." 8)
     

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