Today is October 30th. It is day number -2 of my road to quitting porn for good. After a long consideration and many attempts to do this final step, I feel like now is the perfect time to set it all in action. I've been watching porn since I was 10, yet experienced my first porn-related materials way before that. I remember my mom used to have an old French porn cartoon on a VHS. She got it as a shocker to show to friends, of course, I wasn't meant to watch it as the VHS was hidden somewhere in the house. Of course, I found it. At around 10 years of age I opened my first porn site. I remember it clearly to this day. It didn't have any videos, only pictures, but it was more than enough for me. Back then, a minuscule though about a naked girl made me explode. From there, I'm sure I had the same journey as many of men on this forum: I would watch more and more porn, switching from vanilla to more hardcore clips. Nowadays, all I watch is hardcore and fetish porn. While I never denied the fact that porn is an addiction for me, I never realized the negative affects it had on my brain and body. I like porn, I respect the people who create porn, yet they are destroying me. A month ago I was on holiday, far away from home. I was enjoying myself, having the time of my life, finally relaxed and totally happy. I didn't plan to engage in any sexual activity, as I'm not the type of a guy who likes to have quick NSA fun in the first place. Yet, I got very very lucky. On my last day of holiday I got to go on a date with a girl that was basically straight out of my dreams. She was the girl perfect in every single way, not only looks, but also the way she behaved. I was going crazy. We were planning to just meet up, have a walk, have some drinks, I honestly didn't plan anything but. However, as the evening slowly turned into night, I realized that there's no way we won't have sex. Moments later, we were in my hotel room. Just me and this perfect girl driving me crazy. Of course, I wouldn't be writing this if everything went perfect. I couldn't get hard whatsoever, no matter what I tried. I tried for the longest time, but nothing worked out. I felt terrible, felt disgustingly bad. Not only did I ruin the night for her, but for myself as well. It was right there at that moment when I decided that I have to change myself, I can't allow this to ever happen again. So, when I was back from holiday, I started my research, and it didn't take long for me to find out about this website and forum and all the information about porn addiction available on here, as well as the rest of the Internet. As I've said, I love porn. I managed to quit smoking easily after smoking for 7 years. I stopped drinking soda and switched to a far better diet with relative ease. Porn is something that I can not imagine giving up, as it's been a part of my life for 15 years, yet I know I have to do it to live a better, healthier life. And in tomorrow I shall watch my last porn clip and stop forever. It's going to be painful and tough, yet I shall endure.