The one blog you hope people dont know its yours!

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by gojoego, May 2, 2012.

  1. gojoego

    gojoego New Member

    All my life I avoided any type of intimacy with a girl due to a fear that my dick was too small.

    So I got myself off by watching porn, going into chatrooms doing cam to cam stuff,
    n even a couple of times going infront of a webcam for whoever to watch me. For some
    reason it really turned me on - even though I was thinking 'joe wtf are doing'?!
    The first time I got naked infront of a woman I was just about to turn 24 (about 2yrs ago).
    She was an old big heffer, had a face like a slapped arse n I just thought fuck it. Might aswell. No ones gonna find out!

    Well surprise surprise I didn't get hard with her. On the other hand
    She had a great time, with me using a *dildo* on her... (go onnn limp dick!)
    not sure this counts as me losing my Virginity! - The strange thing was, I was proud of
    myself for actually getting naked infront of someone, n showing her whats I gots :p
    But seriously that was such a big deal to me.

    Fast forward to where i'm at now. I've been in a relationship for about 14months.
    Initially it was so hard to have sex due to suffering from ED. My gf is 26yrs old and beautiful,
    and If i told you I couldnt get it up for her or stay hard you'd think I was a gay in denial!
    Luckily my gf has been extremely understanding. We had spoke about it loads, n eventually
    she confided in me that she thought my dick was 'lazy' n 'unreactive'.
    She's slept with over 28+men (which kills me) so she knows her stuff! And encouraged me
    to go see the doctor. I arranged to see a doctor afew months ago to see what they can
    do to help me. Had a blood test for testosterone deficiency. I was crushed when I found out
    that I had normal levels of testerone in my blood. I was left thinking there was something seriously wrong with me.

    Then I discovered yourbrainonporn.com


    The information from that site is incredible. Everything suddenly makes sense as to why I've been the way I have.
    I have been a masturbating addict since around 14yrs old.Eventually turning to harder more shocking porn to get me a bigger kick. N then actually going on a webcam n shit as thats the only way I'd get hard. --> what the fuck are you doing u nob! haha!

    So I've started the no porn or masterbation or orgasm 2weeks ago.

    It was all going well until I relasped yesterday and today. The first time was having sex with my gf
    - you might be thinking hang on a minute, you were having sex? Then you have no problem? -
    Well my dicks never been 100% erect with her n often only gets hard when I cum!
    --n to be precise it was after sex, she'd gone out n I had to have a wank. And I have had another wank today...
    So back to day 0.

    So the positives from my first 2 weeks.
    1) I got to 2 weeks!
    2) Just the relief of discovering this forum n the other website, reading the success stories.
    3) day 9 I had a spontaneous erection - not had one of these bad boys since I was like 16!!
    4) Waking up/going to sleep and not wanking! - recognising the urges to have a wank are actually through my brain wanting its hit of dopamine! (best get the webcam out eh..) haha

    I'm proud of what I've done upto now. If anyones interested I'll keep afew updates as to how I'm getting on. I would love to hear any feedback if any of you have questions or can relate to me, can help me out.
     
  2. Mirier

    Mirier New Member

    Welcome to the forum then.

    Even with the relapse, you have had a positive start. Some success and some things you've learned. I can't tell you how valuable this forum has been both from my own journaling and reading others stories. A very supportive group. It has provided me with daily guidance and clarity as to what I am doing here and what a positive future without PMO can be.

    Good luck with your reboot.
     
  3. Onanymous

    Onanymous Living in the real world now

    Welcome to the forum, joe.

    You're definitely on the right track. It seems like you are in good shape to benefit from a full reboot.

    Have you checked out Gary and Marnia's other site, reuniting.info?

    It may have some useful information about sexual technique while rebooting. I know that Gary suggests that any sex should be slow and not focused on orgasm as a goal.
     
  4. kv22206

    kv22206 New Member

    You are very lucky to have such an understanding GF. Keep going at it. There will always be a chance of relapsing but you just have to pick your pieces together every-time and try harder(no pun intended) the following time.

    Just think we all are going thru the same shit and we must overcome this pathetic behaviour!
     
  5. gojoego

    gojoego New Member

    Cheers mirier. I'll check out your blog once I've done I've finished hear. Its a real confidence boost being able to read what other people have gone through, what to expect, and how things have imporved for the better. I dont know about you, but I really thought there was something wrong with me. Like I would just never be able to relax and enjoy sex, no ED at all, just off I go n start banging!

    Onanymous - no I havent! I'll definitely check that out, thanks for the info. I'm guessing you've used some stuff from off there?

    KV22206! Mate you're so right! N it is pathetic behaviour!!
     
  6. gojoego

    gojoego New Member

    Quick update - I've had 4 days no pmo. Until last night fooling around with my gf, she wanked me off.
    Now I enjoyed doing this, and she said she could tell a slight difference in my erection strength, which means its all definitely working!
    My only worry is, is it better to completely stop 'o' when with my gf. Am I just putting myself back afew stages each time I do this?
     
  7. liveinthenow

    liveinthenow New Member

    The offical line is that a full reboot requires about 90 days without P, M or O. However, sex with real people (even a hand job) is considered vastly superior to jerking yourself off to porn; better again if your focus is entirely on your partner and not an porn flashbacks or fantasy constructs.

    I wish I could convince someone to give me a handjob:) Ah well, maybe later.
     
  8. gojoego

    gojoego New Member

    Love your forum name mate! lol

    Thanks for your response. Its reasurred me quite abit. I was starting to worry thinking its my addiction or something..!

    hahaha I've no doubt that you'll get one, I bet you own a bar when you're out!
     

Share This Page