Hi to all! I am 23 years old, and i think my past is not so important now as my future is right now. Still, for the sake of the argument: i have lived a life worth living until now, and i am happy with it. I am fairly healthy, i do a lot of sport, in school i always did good and i have good friends. Wonderful right? Yes, except for one thing, i am single and i never had sex with a girl. I had girlfriends, but when i found myself in bed with them, thanks to ED, i was never able to attempt penetration. For the time being, we did "other stuff", with mouth and hands, but i guess at some point the whole thing became boring or the connection i had with those girls couldn't reach a good level, and as a consequence we always broke up eventually. In the beginning i thought ED was due to lack of experience, but then i discovered YBOP and that porn addiction may be the cause of the problem. I indeed tried to stop as soon as i found out, but i couldn't go past 30 days. I must say i have a tendency to addictive behaviour, i smoke, both pot and cigarettes, and i have been caught into drinking a lot for some time. On top of that, there is of course porn addiction. To complete the picture, the porn i use is tipically humiliation porn, lots of femdom and POV videos mostly. My fetish, however, didn't start at some point in the escalation, but i am sure it was always there. [Trigger alert: the following may be triggering for some people] I remember having at age 15(not yet into porn, but addictively into jerking) a vivid dream about a friend of mine having sex with i girl i was into, and i was watching. In the dream i was then forced to humiliate myself by buying them drinks so that they could have fun at my expenses, and the only reward for me was sitting and jerking. The dream ended with them laughing at me. I had more of those fantasies before i started with porn and actually discovered there is a huge business that exploits this fetishes. This means that no matter what i do, my sexuality won't change, because it is intrinsic in me, but i will do whatever it takes to contain this wired side of me. [End of triggering part] I have no idea why this wired sexuality is a part of me, but i guess that is something i have to live with and only contain. So, if somebody has similar problems and advices they would be welcome. Except for the wired sexual thoughts and ED i have found little other consequences of porn addiction: i am still quite sociable, and i do not have trouble opening myself up to new people or girls. I am a little shy when it comes to dating girls and asking them out, but maybe because i have little experience in that sense. Also, i have problems disappointing people, or making them angry: i seldom say no, both to friends and complete strangers. Still, i noticed that my confidence and stamina go down when i intensively use porn, while they go up when i stop for a while. Having said that, i come to the main point: reboot. I already tried, almost for one year now, on my own, and i have made good progresses. Now i use porn on average once every week and a half, while when i started it was everyday to say the least. I have tried to get more social, go out more and as a result i dated a few girls and went as far as second base with two of them(since reboot started). But it is not enough. I wat to put a cross on this addiction, to call myself free, and find a girlfriend to be happy with. My life has not ended yet, and hope for the future is still possible. I cannot do this on my own, though, i have to receive support and add some techniques to improve the quality of my reboot. At this moment, i have installed protection on my computer, a cute program named selfcontrol(for mac) and selfvault on my windows partition(both recommended by the way ). Those are programs that allow you to make a black list of sites you do not want to visit for a certain amount of time. There is just no way of disabling them before the timer ends, and i currently set it to 1 month. Of course this does not prevent me from checking new websites i didn't know of, but anyway it is working pretty well. There are still some ways to look at porn, there always are, but at least i can contain myself(and improve protection by updating the blacklist). The situation doesn't look too bad, i just moved to a new country in february, to do a master, so i have the chance of actually starting with a new life, i have good opportunity to meet girls and to put myself to the test when it comes to getting out of my comfort zone. The first step is reaching 2 weeks, starting last tuesday, so i am currently on day 4. I have no moral issue with masturbation itself, so i will keep doing it, the important part is to avoid porn, humiliation porn. I think this can conclude this brief introduction, i will update this as soon as i get the chance.