The "No Arousal" Method - Celibacy of Body AND Mind

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by bigbookofpenis, Oct 28, 2013.

  1. adamparkar

    adamparkar Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    I really want to try NOA , once my prep for gmat will start.....
     
  2. Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    {21}

    Thanks for the kind words. Iam here from time to time but i dont add to other discussions anymore. Except replying to messages in this thread and subscribing to every monthly NoFap challenge. Not because i wouldnt want to help the comunity, but because i think i did my job already - NoA is 100% explained in here and there is nothing to add. Here is a working technique to get you to 100+ days of NoFap if you choose to... and in the end, thats what matters - living PORN-free day by day... most of the other discussion is unnecessary dissecting and over-analyzing unimportant details of the addiction... i believe that most people just need to read few forum threads in here and than close the browser and go DO THE WORK, day by day, month by month, until the addiction starts to loose its grip... there is no need to discuss hours and hours about the addiction - it keeps your head under the water, in the manure...

    hmm i see you have a girlfriend and are 15 years using porn (5% 275 days) thats quite similar scenario to mine (19 years here) - i know what you are going through... i have one thing to say - it only gets better from now !!! Stopping PORN for the rest of your life is the best decision you made, FULLSTOP !!!

    As with the budhist, taoist stuff... as Gary Wilson from YBOP says and i must agree - its always better to keep these things separated from religions and philosophy because than any good idea is often categorised by general public as "some spiritual mambo jambo" and you quickly slide from practical PORN debate into theoretical religion debate which is eternal...

    now dont get me wrong i also think budhists and taoists nailed it 8000 years ago just perfect and i would also call myself "casual taoist and budhist student" but modern people need medicinal facts and they only believe things that can be measured in laboratory, i know, because iam the same - i like budhist and taoist practices and ideas but only after seeing HARD EVIDENCE of the fMRI scans did the message really hit home - PORN IS LIKE HEROIN, PORN CHANGES YOU ON PHYSICAL NEURAL LEVEL JUST LIKE DRUGS (scientists still didnt quantify exactly how permanent the changes are in your brain)... than i realised i must fight the PORN same way as one would fight illegal chemical substance like HEROIN... with ABSOLUTE NO MERCY, TOTAL DEDICATION and FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE... HEROIN IS HEROIN no matter how long you abstain from it... it will always be damaging, destructive and HIGHLY ADDICTIVE crap...

    so i do 100% agree with what you say about taoism and budhism but i prefer to keep the discussion totally religion and philosophy free (for practical reasons) and focus only on the real physical effects PORN does to your brain plasticity - and thankfully last 5-10 years scientists come up with very good data that subsequently support all the 8000 years old claims of budhism and taoism (also about benefits of ancient mediatation techniques on human brain plasticity and neurochemistry) - BUT FOR PRACTICAL REASONS LETS LEAVE RELIGION OUT OF THIS... its complicated enough as it is and every person has its own set of believes and different amounts of faith in various religious and philosophical concepts... WE SHOULD FOCUS ON THE END RESULT - LIVING DAY AFTER DAY WITHOUT PORN - and every person will have a slightly different inner motivations to do so - some religious, some atheistic, some practical, and many others...

    I WISH EVERYONE GOOD LUCK on the NoA path but i must warn you its not a magic bullet - nothing ever is - and you will have cravings and hard times - in the end its not about the tools you use but about your strength, motivation, willpower, inteligence (to rationalise not giving up in the toughest times) - there is only one thing certain - when you know that PORN is as destructive and addictive as HEROIN would you want to go back ? the only way is forward... going back is conscious self-inflicting damage to your brain... the facts have been clearly laid and demonstrated for you by modern science, now the choice is yours only !!! Dont be stupid !!!
     
  3. TameTheDragon

    TameTheDragon New Member

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    Yes, I calculated 15 years of porn usage. Several times during those years I went 2-3 months with very little to no PMO due to crazy work schedule, travel, or living arrangements. Everytime after I would binge and could feel myself descending into this isolated world of PMO as it slowly took back control over much of my life. That is when I first noticed something is very wrong with the PMO lifestyle.

    I didn't mean to make it a religious debate and your information about heroin addiction is every bit as convincing and effective in getting people to understand why this is a SERIOUS addiction and why NoA is probably the only way you can repair your damaged brain COMPLETELY. The problem is in our brains! Thought control is how we remap our pleasure centers to not associate porn and pornographic fantasy with ultimate pleasure. I know from sex with my girlfriend that my problem is in my head! I have no problem getting lasting erections but even during sex I want the mental fantasy of porn and I crave my own hand! In this way, all these idiot doctors are correct, the problem is in our heads, but these doctors have no idea how to treat it! This is where the wisdom of buddhism comes in in my opinion.

    I'm fortunate at the moment because I will be apart from my girlfriend for the next 4-5 months. I can make a good start and not have to worry about sexually pleasing her or something like that. I want my new porn free life with her in the future. I'm building my new life. That is incredibly great advice I got from UD's thread. You are right, all the information is mapped out here and I don't need to visit this forum every day or make tons of analysis of my addiction. I know what it is and I'm ready to fight the fight tooth and nail and dig deep and systematically get this weakness and sickness out of my mind and body.

    I will check the forum every 15 days also just to give any important thoughts and to see how other's improvement is going. Beyond that I don't need to be here. I'm building a new life and porn and thinking about porn is not a part of that.

    Keep fighting everyone! Get porn out of your brains!
     
  4. Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    {22}

    THATS THE RIGHT ATTITUDE... you can try suggestions from the NoA BIG LIST:

    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=14525.msg289309#msg289309
     
  5. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    This thread is underrated.

    I'm going to sticky it for a while.
     
  6. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    More should try this. It's really good. It's very rare that I have sexual thoughts, even when I let my mind drift.
     
  7. picats3141

    picats3141 Active Member

    It really is a great philosophy. All relapses start with arousal. I know for a fact that's how my last one did.
     
  8. picats3141

    picats3141 Active Member

    Hey, good tips...I definitely have been triggered a lot by ads on various websites, so I will look into turning flash off.

    The only videogame I play is Halo, the only TV I watch is the news...so I think I'm fine in terms of sexy media.
     
  9. nomorefapalexander

    nomorefapalexander New Member

    I watch a lot of sexy pop music videos like britney spears etc. I don't know why I do this, but it is kind of addictive. Don't get any triggers from it though, but that is what may be slowing me down In my reboot I think.
     
  10. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Re: NoA (No Arousal - celibacy of body AND MIND for 3+ months)

    I think you are onto something here. For one thing, abstinence does not train you to be asexual. It trains you to control your sexuality. That's a good thing because it allows us control when we have no sexual opportunity and it allows us to have control when we have sex, which is going to result in better sex. ED and DE are certainly not signs of healthy sexual function.

    I'm also heartened to read your info regarding healing that happens in the brain. After 400 days I feel as if much of my reaction to potential triggers has been erased. I'm not taking any chances, but I know that sub-pornographic triggers, a nude scene in an R-rated movie, etc, just do not have the effect that they would have before I started here. I don't intend to tempt fate, I'm staying away from porn from now on, but I do believe that it's power over me is considerably less than it used to be. And, for a fact, I've walked the path of no arousal to reach this point.
     
  11. Ryan94

    Ryan94 Began my life again on 21/03/2014 - Nowruz

    Why is this good? This seems like rewiring to being asexual, rather than rewiring to women.
     
  12. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Doing without sex does not equate to being asexual. I promise, I am anything but asexual. It's been over a year but I am still a man that desires sex with a woman and a normal sex life.
     
  13. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Because it's not a good idea to constantly fantasize and think about sex while you're rebooting.

    You're just tempting yourself.
     
  14. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    For me it came down to whether sex was a solo activity or something I did only with a partner. As I see it, you can't do both. If you live in fantasy, real-world sex is not going to hold up your interest, plain and simple.
     
  15. {23}

    thanks for the support everybody... the temporary sticky is greatly honoured TheUnderdog...

    however i have a feeling so far and with the activity in this thread, that NoA Method is the kind of truth that Jeff Olson (Author of The Slight Edge book) would proabably call "Too simple to fully comprehend OR too easy to dismiss"...

    NoA Method is very simple yet brutal in its honesty and requires total commitment for a long period of time (talking months or years, just for the record) and also a great deal of mental power and suprising amount of inteligence to outsmart your natural instincts and rebeling brain, turning all against you...

    99.9% addicts in here poses all the required skills and inteligence...

    where most addicts didnt click yet is that many still didnt realise the full damage PORN is causing to them on multiple levels in their lifes... they may be aware of one aspect (like ED) but too often they dont fully understand other aspects of the PORN addiction (self esteem, depressions, ADHD, etc. the list goes on and the mix is very individual to everyone)

    many addicts still think in the back of their head - SUBCONSCIOUSLY - that PORN is negotiable and too good to quit forever - subconsciously they still understand PORN as more or less "natural" part of male sexuality and essentially a harmless depiction of otherwise natural human behaviour aka. sexual intercourse... if sex is NATURAL than PORN is just more of the NATURAL, right ? Wrong :)

    we dont have space to explain why PORN and SEX WITH A PARTNER are like night and day... that would be for a new thread... and frankly its not really important to know every single reason >WHY< YOU QUIT PORN, its more important to know >HOW< TO QUIT PORN and than JUST DOING IT... following the method you choose on and on and on...

    i was lucky i guess to realise the full damage PORN was causing to me on PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, SOCIAL level... it wasnt any particular event or period, it was just little jigsaw puzzles coming slowly together over the years until the last nudge was the Channel 4 documentary showing the fMRI scans of PORN addicts and healthy control group and than cross-referencing with HEROIN addicts brain scans...

    http://www.channel4.com/programmes/porn-on-the-brain

    unfortunatelly the "aha moment" and "realising of the big picture and full extent of PORN addiction in your life" is TOTALLY NON-TRANSFERABLE... so any amount of reasoning, explaining, proofing, story narrating, online discussions will not make anyone sober from PORN or start a NoA journey...

    its chracteristic that people with 100+, 200+, 400+ days on their counters ussualy agree that NoA brutality is justified and its "twisted logic" is correct, while people with few hours or days on their counters ask 1000+1 questions "why should they do such extreme things"... AND I UNDERSTAND THOSE QUESTIONS i was questioning NoA myself !!! In the begining i wasnt sure if "not looking at girls on the street" isnt crazy and too strict... but the deeper i learned about the physical damage PORN causes in your brain, the more i became believer in the toughest possible methods to fight PORN addiction... hopefully all these are temporary extreme measures that will allow the brain to revert the damage done and return to natural state without the need for PORN for the rest of life… the long-term evidence is just begining to appear from the research so we have no control group for comparison… guys like me born around 1980 are the first generation of man who were raised on internet PORN since early teenage and now are fighting the consequences in their 30's… there are no guys before us to statistically compare with… we are 1st generation XXX :)

    but soon enough (thankfully) i realised that belief and confidence in NoA Method is NON-TRANSFERABLE... everyone has his own pace before he realises the full extent of PORN addiction in their respective life and everyone makes choices that suit their level of comitment and percieved danger of PORN in their own lifes... i cant do anything about that... everyone is different and everyones should set their own path out of addiction.. this is mine... yours may be similar OR totally different... there is no universal path...

    now individually:


    TheUnderdog> thanks for the temporary sticky… BIG BIG HONOUR :)




    picats3141 wrote> "All relapses start with arousal."

    Exactly :))

    I would also add to that "All arousal starts with a mental image of erotic content appear in your visual cortex" this image may be totaly virtual (fantasy, memory) or iniciated by one of your senses reacting with outside world (sight of arousing image, overhear of arousing voice or moan, touch of arousing material or caressing of your body, smell of arousing parfume or scent)

    Enough said i think the logic and the perspective with NoA is evident.




    CrazyGopher wrote> "if a woman comes into my field of view, the arousal process begins before I am consciously able to move my eyes"

    Hehe i know what you mean but lets not get too "anal" about things that are out of your control. What i do is when my eyes stop on a nice lady in a crowd or a nice lady steps into my view field from nowhere I look away and make a mental note not to look in that direction anymore… Simple… Yes, i looked at her for 0.5 second, but important is what you do AFTER that 0.5 sec first look, now you know she is there and she is freaking hot… here is where the NoA decision is made... i just make sure i never look that way again, not even a peak… Sooner or later our ways part… If i feel like my head is turning against my will to have another peak at her :) i completely turn away or change direction or stop for a while to let her pass me and turn a corner, or in worst case move into different room or adjacent tube/tram wagon… its all common sense and you cant blame yourself for women walking around you on the streets... you can always just close your eyes or turn away… it is all really simple common sense and everyone will find what works for them the best once you make a decision to walk the NoA path…

    Flash adverts and "pop culture" is killing me on NoA :) Once you try to eradicate triggers you realise that 21st century is all about FUCKING AND SEX… AND MONEY… these are 2 most important messages in mass media and culture… 24/7… we must be tough, my brother :)




    nomorefapalexander> i envy you can watch any music videos without getitng triggers… some of Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus and Beyonce videos are almost Playboy Late Night… good for you



    Ryan94> "Why is this good? This seems like rewiring to being asexual, rather than rewiring to women."

    You will have to trust me and TheUnderdog and LTE that not thinking about sex is not the same as being asexual. Basically unless you have some serious hormonal or mental problem, if you are a man between 15-55 you ARE sexual no matter what you do or think… i assure you even Pope is sexual being (although he may be already in the honourable age where hormones are in steep decline)… you cant kill man's sexuality unless you seriously tinker with hormones or brain structure (castration, hormonal replacement therapy, brain damage due to accidents, etc.) so dont worry a mental excercise of any sort will not make you asexual…

    Also and iam saying this over and over in this thread because every now and than someone worries about turning into asexual eunuch because he stopped looking at girls on street… NoA is not a life-long program… Its called "celibacy of body AND MIND" but it doesnt say FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE… NoA is a transitional period of several months to couple of years in worst cases of severe long-term addiction and PORN abuse (always aim for the minimum 5% ratio between PORN days and NoA days)… after the period you are free to fuck like a rabbit, have sex 4 times a day and chase every skirt you see on the street, you can become a pickup artist… anything as long as you STAY AWAY FROM PORN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE… and dont worry you would loose libido during the NoA transitional period… you wont… full stop… believe me or not… i know i have a 100% fully working libido after 120 days of NoA…





    LTE> impressive counter !!! as much as i agree with TheUnderdog that counters are very treacherous and vastly inaccuarte portrait of THE BIG PICTURE… a 400+ streak does put things in perspective and tell something about the credit of the bearer and stuff he must have went through… good job !!!

    Iam not sure if i am on exactly the same page as you LTE but ill try… For me solo sex aka masturbation is loosing interest. My current opinion after 120 days without touching myself sexually is that i can imagine man doesnt need masturbation for the rest of his life… you dont go crazy without wanking :)) there is only one "sex" and one "sexuality" and that is attraction and subsequent merging of opposite forces (call it Ying and Yang if you must :) but lets not throw in religious and philospohical concepts)…

    Also i agree that real-world sex doesnt hold up to PORN in the slightest (including mental PORN images you play inside your imagination)… real sex with a partner is sweaty, un-glamourous (in my case), lacks 8 inch dicks and fashion model girls willing to do all the nasty things - i never had guts to ask a girl if i can do a cum face to her - it would ruin the mood and she would most likely call me an inconsiderete asshole… normal girls ussually dont dig even slightly degrading moves :)… also most girls i had sex with in my life were not long legged 8.5/10 models with perfect blond hair who can suck dicks like profesional escort girls and during sex would scream like they lost their mind… today's girls are not born pornstars just like today's boys are not born with the 8 inch dick, super lean and muscular body and racing horse stamina like Rocco Sifreddi…

    Iam not saying you cant get two glamorous young people having fantastic sex with all the bells and whistles… but this scenario with increasing age gets as probable as a story from Pretty Woman or Love Actually… thats where the DON JON movie by Joseph Gordon-Levitt strikes an interesting similarity between PORN flicks and CHIC flicks… guys fantasize about long legged blondies that will let them spray their face with cum and girls fantasize about filthy rich millionaires who are 27 years old have looks of Johnny Depp or young Richard Gere, happen to be single, safe kittens from trees and poor children in Africa and fall madly in love with them and have 4 children and never look on another woman till their happy death… of course life cannot compete with PORN and romance movies… :)) but i will always prefer inperfect real life sex with a loving partner than to watch someone else having all the fun while iam sitting alone in a dark room watching monitor and wanking myself… i agree with LTE that its most likely every guy must choose one or the other… there is no way to consume both without one getting overshaodwoed by the other...

    cheers guys
    see you today or in circa 14 days...
     
  16. Shampal

    Shampal Member

    This is great post! I will tryt it from today. I also agree that we have to take care both physical and mental aspect of reboot. The people who are successfull in rebooting mostly have a mental plan also and most people whio don't fail sooner or later.

    I will report back my experience after a month.
     
  17. Js10

    Js10 New Member

    Thank you for this (The No Arousal method)
     
  18. Poppecorn

    Poppecorn New Member

    I'll try this noA method as well, as I'm at that point where the desire to watch is there everyday. If I make it a week with no PMO, then I'll give it an honest shot
     
  19. CrazyGopher

    CrazyGopher Member

    I'm doing no arousal again this run. It just makes things so much easier.
     
  20. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Undoubtedly.
     

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