The "No Arousal" Method - Celibacy of Body AND Mind

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by bigbookofpenis, Oct 28, 2013.

  1. Christopher Cramer

    Christopher Cramer New Member

    Hi I am new to this site and so far from what I've read on this thread I'm getting a much clearer idea of how to rewire your brain into avoiding sexual activity. The only thing is, what I am struggling with does not really include pornography. I am a Christian and from what I believe, I've been kept away from porn, but I've got myself addicted to intense forms of masturbation, that is autofellatio, so you could say I am addicted to M and O. From what I've read I understand that NoA is the answer to rebooting your brain. Only the fact that autofellatio can be done by yourself when ever you want makes me think there would be more to making the decision not to carry it out when you are hit with the strong urge. It is more the physical pleasure of this act that I crave so keeping myself from porn does not keep me from M. I understand that P is what most men here try to avoid, but what are some good strategies that would distract someone from M which is the physical side of things?
  2. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Well-Known Member

    Is there anything you could do to break the chain of thought processes or circumstances that lead to acting out?
  3. Wolf333

    Wolf333 Member

    Hey bro, this is quite an approach. Congratulations for the effort, I feel related but do not agree. The logic makes sense but I would like to challenge your ideas for the sake of finding a cure to us all. If it works for you or you don't want to read this or find it offensive, that's ok, I do not mean to belittle anyone. I write this in order to find a fix, I apologize beforehand if any of those things happen.

    About the monastery analogy, I would suggest the exact opposite: try a nudist beach. If any woman under 50 years old makes you have erotic ideas, it is not P or MO the problem, it is your humanity wich is far more important. I am not trying to make a moral lesson here or feel in anyway superior. Today a young woman brought me package and, shamefully, I couldn't prevent thinking of her erotically though I am married. The idea of nudism is to de- objectify the human body. Through P, we learned we could get anything we wanted even beyond our wildest dreams in thousands of categories: skin color, age, nationality, number of individuals.... you addicts know what I mean! What if we strive to feel comfortable with the naked body, no matter what race, gender or age? We are all sibligns, parents, aunts, uncles... I think if we make that happen that would give us a more profound human experience, that is what I am looking for. Nudism has a number of psycological and physical benefits but the main idea is to return to how we naturally related to each other for thousands of years. That way, being in intimacy with another human being would be more than the body, more than the nakedness: it would be a very profound and beautiful exploration and opening of ourselves. BTW, mystics for example shut themselves away in monasteries in order to find an erotical experience with God. So erotism is part of our nature, I find it weird to deny it. I strive to re learn how to relate in a more humane, deep and compassive way with others, including erotism :) Thats what I have accomplished in my marriage and the example I want to give to my kids.

    About the "alpha male" stuff, sounds desirable and powerful, as if you were invincible. Is that really what you want? I would suggest to have opposite gender friends. Marriage and kids aren't for everybody, it is ok to have as many sex partners as you want if you are not lying to them or yourself. But part of the beauty of the sexual experience is to open yourself, to accept you are vulnerable, to trust. As in any game, what fun would it be if you knew you would always win? Most of my friends are girls since I was a kid. Girls would actually get you to meet more girls which is rewarding in every sense but more importatly you would learn a lot from them. As any of us, they want to be understood. Porn has made us dismiss this "other gender" mystery wich is so amazing.

    Hope this considerations help, good luck!!!

    Disclaimer - I wrote opposite gender because the discussion here is mainly heterosexual. I do not know how to address properly the experience if you are homosexual but if there are any reading, I hope you get the idea ;)
  4. Daimon

    Daimon Member

    Huh...gonna have to look into this again.

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