The "No Arousal" Method - Celibacy of Body AND Mind

What I meant is: I don't believe in this method or any other, because I do not need to - I simply test it. This is what I meant. .... There is no need to believe in anything. Just test it.

I figured that thing myself long time ago and tested it about 2 years ago. It works for me 100%. It's actually the only thing that works in my experience.

 

Dear Striveforpurity,
Author of this post explicitly asked to NOT bring religion into the equation.
He put a lot of time and effort to explain it to the people and I think we should respect his wishes.

If you want to preach, maybe start another post? I'm sure there are a lot of people who could benefit from it and contribute to the discussion.

Thanks

 

Believe me, it IS super-hard)
I went to the gym today and felt like there is a monster magnet attached to my eyeballs. Not only they tried to look at the bum and legs "directly"... I turned around and started doing my thing, only to realize my eyes gravitate towards mirror, just to catch a glimpse of that thing.
I nearly started to laugh - it feels like my eyes have life of its own, compiletely independent of the rest of me - remote controlled by some evil prick.

I believe there is one thing that really, really helps me - I stick to mindfulness training lately and it makes me more aware of my urges. They're there, but I KNOW IT. I still feel complusion to eyeball bodyparts, but I FEEL the urge clearly and put my ass into stopping it. I'm slowly dismantling this habit again....
I even play a little "game" with myself. I give myself one point for each girl I turn around from. I did some tesco shopping to today and simply took it like a rpg game - I did well, but it was hard. It was difficult to maneuver out of danger - it's friday and our store is loaded with arousing objects. I had a good training today) tomorrow will be even more challenging, because I'm going to the club... poor me.

 

Are you blind? I already made another post... BUT I am allowed to express my opinion and I don't care if the original poster said that.

 

What you are doing is probably MOST DANGEROUS AND PAINFULL act in your whole life. You are literally starving your brain's EXCITEMENT CENTER - sex, food, sugar, alcohol - you are actively preventing EXCITEMENT - JOY from entering your brain. After 19 years you are attacking the very core sense of MEANING OF YOUR LIFE - addiction to sexual excitement. The danger of loosing motivation to live and plunge into MOST PAINFULL DEPRESSION is extreme.

This is basically what I'm experiencing. If I knew it was going to be this bad I probably would've never quit in the first place.

 

This is only true if you don't have anything positive in your life. The point is to starve the porn-related pathways, not to avoid anything pleasurable.

You can have excitement by socialising, achieving stuff, doing sports, ... "sex, food, sugar, alcohol" aren't the only sources of excitement. You actually can derive excitement from healthy food (which is often promoted here) and intimate sex (which I think is better than casual sex). So no, you don't starve yourself.

 

Best thread on the forum. Thank you bigbookofpenis

 

Let's stick to NoA Kira... I think that's the way out of the hole brother.

 

I bet it is but I really dont want to get all over confident. This is just information, we have to put this into action. There is a long bumpy road ahead but ultimately we are going to be out of this shit hole. We dont belong here even if we dont feel like it right now. (I dont! I actually dont feel that motivated but its alright. I dont have to wait for motivation or the correct emotions to make changes to my life? Do I? )

 

Let's do it...

Enjoy every bump and every single mile...

Action creates emotion...

 

This post gave me so much perspective. I always wondered why I dont get any female attention. How will I? I have always been oggling them and never worked on my communicational skills or self confidence. I have been so passive till now.

 

All the best brother I do feel better though after months of binging sessions. Also planning to spend less time on the forum now. I literary was here for more than three hours. Too much reading.. Phew!

 

I have officially endorsed this method: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=33315.0

 

Sorry, I don't find jerking off and eating candy bars the meaning of my life.... Actually the less I do this the better I feel.
Preventing excitement? Probably - but that's totally fine.

As Newnes asked before - what ealse are you doing to stop porn addiction, apart from abstaining?
Are you strickly following NoA method? No porn, no masturbation, no thinking about sex, no looking at women etc?

Maybe you have something different going on health-wise that needs to be addresses asap?

In my case I start feeling much better as soon as 1-2 weeks into no-pmo. I have a problem staying away - most of my relapses were caused by drugs and/or alcohol. As long as I stay from substances I can control it and feel progressively better with each week/month.

I stayed about 4 months as clean as I could and those were some of the best days of my entire life.

 

Gonna try this as well. Just deleted all the dating apps off my phone.

 

This is the best thing I found after the YBOP site. It helped me a lot. I already feel like I broke free; The idea of looking at that nasty stuff is disgusting. When my imagination often tries to run away, I found myself saying "either you fuck, or you don't, and you won't", flatline doesn't feel bad because I'm know it will respond when I need it to. No Arousal is a goal for one year at minimum, and pmo is forbidden for life.

 

Lol
This seems hard as hell, but I'll try avoiding as many erotic stuff as possible.

 

You don't have to think about sex to seek a partner. You don't need to fantasise about girls you see to do that.

There's no need to undress a girl 10 times in your head before you actually do it. No need to imagine a porn scene with her every night before you can actually have sex with her.

All you need is to be present with her, date, flirt, move from base 1 to 2 to 3 to 4. Don't imagine it, do it instead.

That's the essence of NoA. Sex is great, intimacy is great too. Real sex is accepted (or even promoted), but non-real stuff is prohibited. By restraining the fake, NoA encourages us to go for the real deal.

Even better: it makes the real deal liked for what it is, instead of engaged in as a clutch replacing porn. It re-established real sex as an intimate moment, where one can be present, instead of a porn-like act.

 

You can imagine being with her in many ways. You can imagine how you'll get her to the movies, or her smile when you imagine offering her a flower or inviting her to a restaurant. There's no need to play porn-like scenario in your head to have sex with her (and as a porn addict, odds are, if you have sexual scenes in your head, they'll be porn-related or porn-influenced).

As a former addict (in a few months/years), though, why not imagine a few sexual scenes from time to time? I wouldn't see the harm, for someone who is in control of himself. As long as it's realistic, not to run away from negative emotions and not instead of actually acting in real life.

Yes, visualization can be a powerful tool for athletes, businessmen, artists, etc. It increases motivation and performance. But are they looking at the goal, or the process? I think it's the process? The process towards having sex, in that case, would be from the moment you start talking to a girl to the moment to have sex - no need to play porn scenes in your head.

However some also imagine the goal (sex itself here). I think it's negative for two reasons:
- It makes sex the goal, which can place a shadow over the rest of the moments spent with the girl, as if only sex were important, and everything done was done in order to have sex
- As porn addicts, rehearsing sex scenes in our head is reactiving porn pathways, which 1) makes recovery longer and 2) makes it more likely to relapse. In our case, imagining sex scenes is, as you say, "fuel to propel you forward", but this specific forward is the relapse IMO.

 

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