The new me

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Gondapa, Mar 25, 2013.

  1. Gondapa

    Gondapa Member

    Hi everyone
    Some of you may remember me from last year. I deleted my profile and I am back now. After a lot of relapses I managed to reach double digits and I am on day 10. I hope I don't relapse as I want to achieve 30 days. I already feel happier more confident deeper and louder voice and less lethargic as well as bring able to concentrate better. 8)
     
  2. shitcompton

    shitcompton New Member

    Great work on the double-digit days. Welcome, and stay strong! ;D
     
  3. Gondapa

    Gondapa Member

    Day 13 - never reached 13 days before so that's obviously a small record. Hehe. However, I was close to relapsing and had to get back on the fags to trigger the dopamine release.
    I am quite depressed at the moment because I keep seeing that girl I had a crush on and who rejected me. I am seeing a therapist to get over the depression. :-[
     
  4. CleanHands

    CleanHands Guest

    Hey Gondapa, nice to see you again! Congratulations on reaching double digits!

    A therapist is great so be sure to use that avenue for support. Are you still seeing the girl that rejected why? Why do you want to do that if it's causing depression?
     
  5. Gondapa

    Gondapa Member

    Hi thanks for the welcome ;D

    That girl happens to be my colleague - We don't work directly in the same teams but I see her almost every day and every time I see her its like being stabbed repeatedly .
    She is pretty and nice and makes me want her even more but said she only wants to be my friend only.

    Should I continue to be her friend or blank her out? I don't want to hurt her and blank her out and I pretend there's nothing but I am hurting deep inside.
     
  6. CleanHands

    CleanHands Guest

    I think you should blank her out man. Staying close to her will only deepen the pain. You will need to learn how to cut ties and focus on finding people that makes you feel good and loved. Don't let someone who's hurting you continue to do so. It's not worth it!
     
  7. shitcompton

    shitcompton New Member

    Agreed. If you're depressed over her, you have to cut ties.
     
  8. Gondapa

    Gondapa Member

    So I hit the gym today after 4 weeks of lethargy and laziness trying to get over PMO. I am on day 17 and I could tell the difference - cardio was more intense and I was not out of breath, I did more weights and even tried a few dead lifts.
    Madturbation only depletes testosterone at a rate which the body is not able to replenish it is my guess and the effects on the whole body are massive.

    If anyone is still struggling to quit please don't wait another day and just do it. The long term gains far far outweigh the 3 minute pleasure you get from PMO
     
  9. Gondapa

    Gondapa Member

    Hi guys
    So it is day 18 and I am feeling slow and lethargic as well as cold for the past few days. I don't know if this is just to do with the freezing weather or a combination of withdrawal from PMO.
    I have not MOd to ejaculation at all. However I have been edging a few times to pre cum. Can anyone tell me if this is bad and whether it will interfere with my reboot?

    Secondly, I am thinking of having a whole body massage by a nude masseuse including body to body massage. It is called tantric massage and supposedly teaches you to retain ejaculation for longer and makes the whole experience more enjoyable. Ejaculation is not compulsory and the reason I want to try it out is i have never been touched by a woman before nor have I seen a naked one. (Except in my virtual world!!!)
    Any views??
     
  10. topkipper

    topkipper New Member

    Hi,

    For me, edging has been bad, always the start of a slippery slope. For me, my addicted brain will rationales any excuse or reason to almost trick me into masturbating and I've noticed that seems to be one of the tricks! If that makes sense.
    It's like in the past when I've tried to quit smoking when I'm desperate my I start to think just one night out will be fine, and then just finish off last nights Baccy, etc and before I know it I'm back on it!
    That tantric thing sounds like a great way to get used to sexual contact, but perhaps it's a little early for that? I think you need to have a proper reset first.
     
  11. Gondapa

    Gondapa Member

    Thank you for your advice. I am on day 19 and I think I am on the right track this time. I would advise you to get a tracker - it will show you your progress (or lack if it!) and when you are close to relapsing it will make you think twice whether it is worth giving up all that hard work and effort. On another note I have never been with a girl before - no kiss, holding hands or cuddle and therefore I have a mental block which is preventing me from getting a gf. That's why I think a nude massage may help me get over my fears but I am confused whether it will only lead to bad things afterwards.
     
  12. shitcompton

    shitcompton New Member

    You shouldn't O at all at this point, so I think that's the criterion for deciding whether to try the massage thing. Will the girl be rubbing your dick? You don't want to get too close to O..

    Also, how are your erections now, including morning ones? It's not that helpful to rewire if you don't have any sexual response at all.

    Otherwise I think it's a fine idea to get more familiar with a naked girl.
     
  13. Gondapa

    Gondapa Member

    The massage thing is not a strip club or seedy massage parlour.it is quite professional and expensive too! Basically it starts with a swedish massage and then it gets a bit more sensual. I guess they give a handjob but more sensually and slowly than a normal one to bring you to orgasm gently and then hold it back. Basically tease you a lot and in the end you have a massive one or if you prefer you can choose not to ejaculate at all.

    I have a little morning wood but nothing major. I tend to stimulate masturbation when I have morning wood without orgasm or ejaculation. It helps to kill and prevent me from looking at porn.

    I am really desperate to get close to a naked woman even if it means paying someone. It's not the ideal way but while other guys were getting comfy around naked girls I was busy PMOing. So that's the result now
     
  14. Gondapa

    Gondapa Member

    I have bought a book - 'The porn trap'
    by Wendy and Larry Waltz. It describes the havoc porn causes on people and how they turn into addicts. I am actually feeling sick reading it as everything described there is similar to my situation. I would highly recommend it.
     
  15. Gondapa

    Gondapa Member

    I wanted to share some of my experiences and concerns with the rebooters on the forum. I am on day 21 which I never managed to achieve since 2008. The first week or so was incredibly hard and I have edged a lot. However this time I started smoking which I think helped me to control the cravings a lot and helped me get over the top of the hill more easily than when I have tried to stop before. The last 2 weeks have been tough and I have edged a few times but the urges are decreasing.

    I am occasionally peeking at softcore images and edging a few times as opposed to edging to HC videos in the evening and in the morning when I have morning wood. Is this bad and will it affect my reboot?

    Has anyone been able to not peek at all during their reboot and I am just going through a gradual withdrawal as opposed to cold turkey (FYI I have not been able to quit cold turkey ever because the cravings kick in after a week or so and then lead me to binging and relapsing)

    Appreciate your comments and thoughts.
     
  16. Metal

    Metal Get busy living or get busy dying

    Don't peek otherwise it will come back to haunt you, because you're still feeding the beast and the beast will start growling even louder because the small little peaks you keep feeding it won't be enough until you go through with the whole thing and end up relapsing.

    Cut it out and don't allow any justifications.
     
  17. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    I used to peek alot. It does not help rebooting at all. In fact every peek makes it that much more difficult.

    I would go in the opposite direction, honestly. No peeking or visual stimulation at all. If you feel like you're going to, then masturbate to orgasm. That will keep your no PMO streak alive.

    Once you rack up some days, then shift focus back to No MO.
     
  18. Metal

    Metal Get busy living or get busy dying

    If he masturbates to orgasm then he will not keep his pmo streak. His porn streak will be in tact but he'll still have slipped to masturbation and orgasm and still be a slave to it. p=porn m=masturbation and o = orgasm.
     
  19. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    No Metal, not really.

    I know what the letters stand for. Most of us here distinct between MO and PMO. You're familiar with the orgasm reboot approach, aren't you?
     
  20. Metal

    Metal Get busy living or get busy dying

    Fair enough, and yeah I've heard about the orgasm reboot. It just gets confusing for me when people say they have gone x amount of days pmo free yet then say they've been having orgasms but I get how there is a distinction now.
     

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