The Naked Truth

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by TrueSelf, Jan 29, 2019.

  1. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    Looking Ahead
    Next challenge (for sure) coming up will be this Friday. Scheduled for an early end to my work day. It is inevitable that I will be hit with the familiar "this would be a good opportunity" (for PMO). I'm trying to re-frame my thoughts to, this will be a good opportunity to prove to myself that I do not need to give into my compulsions and that they do not need to run my life.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2020
    Rudolf Geyse likes this.
  2. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    Well, it's a good first step that you're aware of the situation and your thoughts. That may sound obvious, but a lot of people get that moment of awareness only after a relapse, when they ask themselves "Why did that happen?" Re-framing your thoughts is a good approach. You got this!
     
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  3. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    Now this is next-level Fapstronauting. Looking ahead, identifying vulnerabilities, and being ready to steel yourself ahead of time represents a huge leap forward.

    Take note, everyone.
     
    TrueSelf likes this.
  4. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    @TrueSelf

    I am both sorry and pleased to see you have returned to the forums. The former because I never want to hear that someone is being pulled back toward the black hole of their addiction. I'd much rather hear the opposite. And the latter because it is nice to see you back. It might just be a meaningless memory of emotion, but I still appreciate the little support you gave me back in the day when I first got started here. Embarrassed though I am to admit it, it surprisingly meant a lot to me for a comment on the internet.

    As a random aside, are you willing to divulge the origin of your avatar? It's been eating away at me, so much so that I tried various techniques to look up what it's from online. I totally understand if you want to keep it hidden/private. But please do let me know if you feel the inclination.

    Hope you can spend some time outside and away from IADs (internet-accessible devices) or with friends, family, pets, etc.

    Take care
     
    TrueSelf likes this.
  5. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    Lol. Actually I'm not completely sure. I'm into both superheroes and fantasy novels (yes, I'm that level of nerdy) so I really like Thor because he fits in with both. I wanted a "happy looking" Thor and this is one of the images that came up. Based on a Google search the image seems to be connected to books by Rick Riordan - which I have not read.

    Thank you very much for commenting and for your kind words!
     
  6. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    I know this has been mentioned before but yet another consequence of heavy (maybe any) porn use is that it seems like it dulls everything else in life down. Even today (although brief) I felt like I could really appreciate (felt an emotional reaction to) the words/melody of a song I was listening to. I'd post a link but I can't recall what song it was.
     
  7. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    Friday went well. No serious urges and I actually was home alone for a shorter period than expected. About to go read more of my book. Good night all.
     
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  8. positivef

    positivef Active Member

    I've found this to be true. In porn your brain escapes and emotions other than craving more porn are dulled.
     
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  9. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    I go back and forth on if it is helpful for me to count days. Looks like this is day 5. It was a good day overall. Only real issues were a few hours ago. We went out to dinner to a much "fancier" place than we typically would. Some people really dressed up and there were some tempting "visuals" that were difficult for me to resist. Honestly I didn't expend much effort in making much of an attempt to look away. A consequence of this choice was that said visuals got me thinking about sex. This is not good as my wife and I do not have sex very often and thus I don't have an outlet for pent up sexual energy. I'll be sure to get some good exercise (cardio) in tomorrow as that usually helps.
     
  10. positivef

    positivef Active Member

    The way I see the counter is to use it if helps you abstain. However, it shouldn't be used as a reason to beat yourself up; that is counter productive (no pun). Some people use a spreadsheet so they can see the overall level of use (hopefully drop), for example was using once every two weeks, now down to once every four weeks.

    You should try not to linger on sexual thoughts as this makes relapse more likely. Maybe work on the reason you and your wife aren't having much sex?
     
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  11. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    Today was a good day. It was both productive and free from acting out.
     
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  12. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    Wanted to make a quick note. I had a pretty strong urge to use P again during at home working hours. I think it was related to work being a bit extra stressful the past two days. Part of me wanted to look at certain video visuals that have been highly dopamine/"exciting" in the past. I did not give in to the urges and they eventually went away.
     
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  13. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    I've recently reached double digits no PMO. This morning I took my dog out for a walk and it was very foggy. Although it was a familiar route and I was carrying a powerful flashlight the path looking very different. I feel like this is what happens when not distracted by PMO. Life starts to look different and my perspective begins to change.
     
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  14. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    Today marks three weeks without PMO. I feel like my reactions to things like song lyrics/emotional triggers have been stronger lately. I also have had some sex dreams the past couple nights. The good news is that they involved my wife.

    Today I want to be more focused at work as I was very distracted on Friday.
     
  15. positivef

    positivef Active Member

    It's great to hear about your progress.
     
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  16. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    Today marks 4 weeks no PMO. Things have been going pretty well. There are days when I don't think (much) about P and it seems like urges are not as powerful or frequent as they were weeks ago.

    For some reason I've felt the need to write about the strategies or thinking that I have been using. I'll list some of them below.
    • "Play the Tape" - What would be the end result (short and long term) if I gave into an urge and watched P?
      • All scenarios seem to end with my P use escalating to the point of wanting to never use again. Given this, it is just makes sense/saves times/is easier to not use.
    • Thinking of my problem as a dopamine/chemical addiction rather than an addiction to porn/sex/women.
      • I am addicted to dopamine highs. Porn is the most effective vehicle to get that high. I am avoiding dopamine spikes to reset back to base levels. My dopamine should come from real experiences not pixels.
    • The "moral angle" - People (especially women) are often times not treated well and develop problems from being in porn. Porn is also connected to human trafficking. If I watch several porn videos I will most likely watch a woman who is being coerced in some way even if it looks like she is having a good time. I feel better about myself when I do not support the porn industry by watching it's videos.
      • If I watch to much porn it encourages me to experience negative feelings/lack of respect for women.
    • "I've seen it all before" - The experience of using P will be exactly the same as it has been every other time. I want to try something new which is to live life not influenced and imprisoned by porn.
    • "TCB" - Porn is the ultimate time waster and life avoider. Accomplishing tasks and avoiding putting things off seems to help.
     
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  17. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    @TrueSelf

    Those are some great mindsets you have in place there. Thanks for sharing.
     
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  18. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    Some fairly intense urges yesterday. I think I just wanted to escape for a bit and get "high". Some time passed and the urges subsided. After being productive Monday I was struggling yesterday. There is work to be done but I just did not want to do it. Perhaps this partially explains the urges.

    One other thing I have been doing is watching a TV, The Goldbergs. I like watching it because it reminds me of my early childhood. A time when I was not fixated on naked women and sex.
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2020
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  19. Rudolf Geyse

    Rudolf Geyse Active Member

    Great show, I love it.

    This was a great list.

    Thanks for your posts on your journey, keep up the good resolve man
     
    TrueSelf likes this.
  20. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    Had something happen the other day that is probably a fairly common occurrence, but it has been bothering me so I thought I should mention it here. I mentioned it to my wife as well. I received an invitation to like someone's page on Facebook at some point. Even though I am "friends" with this person I don't remember her that well so I just ignored the request. Then just the other day I was looking at my notifications and there was a reminder about liking this person's page. The tiny icon associated with the reminder was a picture zoomed in on her backside in tight shorts. I guess this was an example of click-bait? Did it work on me? It she did. I immediately clicked on the page to see what it was about. Still can't figure it out. No provocative pictures on the page. I guess I am bothered because I was instantly drawn into possible titillation and that I was hyper focused on the tiny picture.

    In better news I am over 30 days PMO free.
     
    NewStart19 likes this.

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