The Manly Man's Recovery Journey

Discussion in 'Ages -19' started by Manly Man, Aug 25, 2019.

  1. Manly Man

    Manly Man New Member

    ROAD TO MANHOOD - THE MANLY MAN'S RECOVERY JOURNEY

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    https://soundcloud.com/t-mea-cs-rg/10-the-last-samurai-the-way-of


    Welcome fellow NoFappers to my Hero's Journey.

    After 5 years flirting with insanity, enervation, and madness, the time has come for me to take the leap towards salvation. My life is utterly chaotic. Family members won't give me a damn for me. I have lost my reputation among friends and neighbours. They call me a home-brooder. Loneliness and malaise pervades me.

    This was not what I envisioned of my future as a boy. I had not done a single brave or noble act in my life. I have no memories of my past 5 years that I cherish, but only that gives me resentment and cringes.

    What I started doing at the age of 14, thinking PMO was no big deal and it is a gift and it won't affect my life, reaped desolation and many unnecessary suffering in my life. I find no joy in anything. I have no force, no confidence, no presence. I strongly believe that this journey, successfully undertaken, will result in bringing back Order in my life, remove unnecessary suffering, instill joy, make me a man, and live a meaningful life.

    Hereby, on 24th of August,2019, I undertake this phoenix-esque journey towards salvation.
     
  2. Manly Man

    Manly Man New Member

    DAY 1 INITIATION

    Watched the whole of Stranger Things Season 1 on Netflix yesterday and today. It's good. I just wanted to see whatever episodes there are for the first week in order to get through that negativity and less energy. Besides, it's a kind of a celebration, on account of this grand scheme to quit porn forever.

    (UPDATE)

    Man, Stranger Things was just awesome. I felt very sad watching Season 3 final episode. This is THE best series I've ever watched. Blocked Netflix. Too much triggers.

    Stay Strong Fellows

    Carpe Diem. Peace.
     
  3. Manly Man

    Manly Man New Member

    Fellow NoFappers, I wanted to share some of my journals written before the starting of this Recovery Journey.

    I wrote in my paperback journal for a couple of days during those times, which I would type down here.


    05-August-2019

    I felt today the effects of reduced androgen receptors in classroom (it is scientifically true that each time you ejaculate, male hormone receptors go down and female hormone receptors go up in numbers, secreting estrogen more and making you act like a girl, totally risk-averse and pleasing others). I was acting like 'girly' and a little bit 'nerdy'(when I crossed my day 60 mark in NoFap before, boy! I was acting like assertive and like a man. Others pick up on that.)
    I don't find motivation to socialize or sing songs in chorus with mates. I was overcome by irrational fear and self-consciousness when I wanted to socialize with girls.
    Whereas before, I do remember, 5 years ago, I was filled with enthusiasm and motivation to ramp up the classroom. Now, they are gone.

    06-August-2019

    Why are good times so minutely less in my life? I never get enough attention from girls. Whereas 5 years ago, before porn came into my life and the period when I crossed 60 day mark in NoFap (74 being my personal best), girls were like coming to me and wanted to converse with me. I felt that attraction.
    My high school years were in tatters for that matter, due to my own personal failing.

    I've never done a good or brave act in my life. My life was full of sinful acts - of prurient and lubricious behaviors, of telling lies, of pursuing pleasure and avoiding responsibility, being a coward, silent puppet boy - controlled by the machinations of others (PMO=no energy, no zest for life) & never had the guts to put the wrong doer down. My mind was foggy most of the time; I cannot retort to others insults.

    07-August-2019

    Why is the region between my chest always aching and in pain? Well, it's your conscience troubling you for the fact of straying from the righteous path.
     
  4. Manly Man

    Manly Man New Member

    DAY 2

    Man, today I was so close to a relapse. One stroke and it was done. I just got turned on by a picture in a news website. Well, from now on, all news websites will be blocked using FocusMe Blocker.

    This journey is my retribution to whatever pain porn gave me. Rise Heroes. Do not be squashed in place by mediocrity. Mediocrity is a sin, a grave one indeed. Let us not be of sloth, but live a strenouos life, that which brings meaning and joy. Forsake pleasure. It's fleeting, only to give you pain afterwards. Let us embrace the adventure of our lives. Do not follow the path which most of us mistakenly see as happiness; it is but the path of regret and remorse.
     
  5. Manly Man

    Manly Man New Member

    DAY 3

    As an emergency measure, I am quitting the whole of internet for 6-7 months. I thought I can do this on January, which only resulted in wasting 7 months,i.e., till August I was not able to quit porn.

    Drastic times need drastic measures.

    Pray this wins.
     

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