The Manly Man's Recovery Journey

Discussion in 'Ages -19' started by Manly Man, Apr 27, 2019.

  1. Manly Man

    Manly Man New Member

    For those who still has a complacent view on masturbation, read this pdf given below:

    No more waiting. Tomorrow marks the starting of the 30 Day Monk-Mode.
    +20 min. Meditation
    +16 min. Kundalini Meditation for healing addictions
    +Wake up early
    +Cold Shower

    I have faith that this time I will win. Why? Kundalini Meditation. I read a blog about a porn-industry worker who quit his job and struggled with pornography addiction. He did everything - meditation, Modafinil, exercise - you name it, with no avail. It was only until he started incorporating this habit into his life that he finally started to recover from porn addiction fully. In my own life, I have found that when I am struck in a multiple-day porn binge, when I do this meditation for once, all compulsions fade away. What made me relapsed is I became complacent in the 8th day, omitted this meditation for two days, then relapsed.

    Here's how to meditate:

    (Say the mantra in your mind)

    I want to know your thoughts on this meditation and has it helped you in your recovery journey.

    Last edited: Aug 16, 2019 at 12:28 PM
    Gil79 likes this.
  2. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    I haven't tried this meditation. Interesting. What are your experiences?

    Sorry this --19 section of the board is so quiet.....
  3. Manly Man

    Manly Man New Member

    My nofap day-counter shows 111 days. Boy, life would've been awesome if that were the case, but it is not.
    I am in day 0, and therefore in hell.
    I am nowadays extremely shameful of myself. I cannot boldly venture to social gatherings. Things must change.

    I wrote in my paperback journal for a couple of days during those times, which I would type down here.

    05-August-2019 (Day 1 of NoFap)

    I felt today the effects of reduced androgen receptors in classroom (it is scientifically true that each time you ejaculate, male hormone receptors go down and female hormone receptors go up in numbers, secreting estrogen more and making you act like a girl, totally risk-averse and pleasing others). I was acting like 'girly' and a little bit 'nerdy'(when I crossed my day 60 mark in NoFap before, boy! I was acting like assertive and like a man. Others pick up on that.)
    I don't find motivation to socialize or sing songs in chorus with mates. I was overcome by irrational fear and self-consciousness when I wanted to socialize with girls.
    Whereas before, I do remember, 5 years ago, I was filled with enthusiasm and motivation to ramp up the classroom. Now, they are gone.


    Why are good times so minutely less in my life? I never get enough attention from girls. Whereas 5 years ago, before porn came into my life and the period when I crossed 60 day mark in NoFap (74 being my personal best), girls were like coming to me and wanted to converse with me. I felt that attraction.
    My high school years were in tatters for that matter, due to my own personal failing.

    I've never done a good or brave act in my life. My life was full of sinful acts - of prurient and lubricious behaviours, of telling lies, of pursueing pleasure and avoiding responsibility, being a coward, silent puppet boy - controlled by the machinations of others (PMO=no energy, no zest for life) & never had the guts to put the wrong doer down. My mind was foggy most of the time; I cannot retort to others insults.


    Why is the region between my chest always aching and in pain? Well, it's your conscience troubling you for the fact of straying from the righteous path.


  4. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    That is where you feel discomfort, but also where your willpower houses. Go for it!
    Manly Man likes this.
  5. Manly Man

    Manly Man New Member

    DAY 1

    Watched the whole of Stranger Things Season 1 on Netflix yesterday and today. It's good. I just wanted to see whatever episodes there are for the first week in order to get through that negativity and less energy. Besides, it's a kind of a celebration, on account of this grand scheme to quit porn forever.

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