Before I begin to tell you my about the long, hard road out of hell... I'd like to take the time to say how grateful I am for coming across this wonderful knowledge. Stumbling upon YourBrainOnPorn and Reuiniting.info have been an absolute Godsend, and I feel quite blessed to have been presented with this knowledge at this point in my life. Although I have lost several years due to the poisonous plague known as porn addicition, I am grateful to find out the truth about pornography at such a relatively young age - I'm 20 now. And although porn had taken it's toll on my teenage years and I would have preferred not to have been hooked on it at all.... What can I really say besides, better late than never? Let's begin where it all started - Middle School During my Middle School years, I remember being an excellent student. Hands down, the most intelligent, disciplined and motivated student in my class. Not to sound arrogant, but I was definitely the smartest student hands down. I use to ace tests left and right, getting 100s on all my assignments with little to no effort. And when there were projects that required some extra effort - I would go above and beyond, often putting an considerable amount of additional effort solely to gain some extra credit. There was definitely something different about me, and I wasn't like the other kids. Don't get me wrong, I was your typical preteen, I was a guy's guy, interested in guy things, and most importantly - girls. There was one major different between me and my peers - I didn't watch porn. I remember several of my female classmates asking the guys how often they masturbated to porn. I replied that I never did, and was quite dumbfounded that it was something of the norm. If I had only knew the countless negative effects this seemingly "normal" habit would have later on down the road... Unfortunately for me, I would fall into the trap of chronic masturbation all in due time. At first it was normal playboy nudes - erotic yet tasteful nudes of gorgeous blondes with beautiful breasts and perfectly shaped butts. But soon enough, I would experience that fateful day... I came across one of Playboy's erotic stories and I became hooked in no time. That is, hooked to the fantasy of femdom. The story had many different characters in various sexual situations. But for some reason I became fascinated with the part about the dominatrix. Reading passages about how she whipped someone into shape and burned him with a hot cattle-prod excited me for some strange reason. Looking back at it now, I was probably so engulfed by this fantasy for no other reason that it being the biggest novelty. This incident during my formative years lead me onto the road of being hooked on femdom. From that point on, all I would search on the internet would be porn sites with the themes of female dominance and male humiliation. The images I came across were nothing like I had ever seen before, and I became more and more addicted the more I fed into this dark fantasy world that I had created for myself. Oftentimes, it would just be the images or videos that I would look for. Just as often, I would search for erotic stories which had these themes, and simply jerk off the fantasy formed in my mind, with no actual visual or audio stimulation. Unsurprisingly, the idea of normal intercourse just wouldn't do it for me anymore. By the time I was in high school, femdom fantasies were a deeply ingrained part of my psyche. It became almost as if I had begun living two separate lives, the normal life where I would be friendly and socialize with other people my age like a normal high school kid, and the other one, where I would come home to masturbate and fantasize about increasingly sick and disturbing images. The things I fanticized about were completely incompatible with the who I was outside the confines of the masturbation headquarters - a confident, friendly, outgoing kid who liked to play sports and go out and have a good time. It wouldn't be long before excessive masturbation to such disturbing images would catch up on me... Case and point, the first day of high school.