The Legacy of Lynch

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by Mraxis Lynch, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Mraxis Lynch

    Mraxis Lynch Waraku Omou Na...

    2-17-11. Day 7 or 8? (Whatev, Let's get this rolling >:D)



    Quick Meet and Greet with all you down to earth Peeps before we get started. :D


    My name is Mraxis Lynch, and I am a musician, a student (for music! lol), a guitar instructor, a gym rat, and a gamer!


    I'm at the ripe age of 20 years old (21 this summer) and I love to meet new people, write stories (hence why I'm blogging lol), make new friends, and- as always- interact with beautiful women ;)


    Now I will admit that I feel really great right now, 7 days of no P/PMO. ((I think I got those acronyms right if not then correct me in a comment below ;O ))


    But before I get into my thoughts on this new and insane journey- towards wherever this will take me. I would like to share where I've been before this, and how P/PMO has affected me overall since the day I was exposed to it.



    Up until I was about 12 or so, I was a vibrant young boy. I always went to every kind of 'social' event I could go to- and at that age socializing usually took place at the park, b-day parties, the beach, lunchtime and other places where you normally see kids running around and interacting with each other lol good times :D.

    However, despite my innocent urge to go out and interact with peers 24/7 I was always sheltered by my parents. They were very young when they had me, and to this day I feel that their 'protection' indirectly caused me to become a little shy as I started to grow older. So as we moved from state to state, I was being more and more sheltered, thus growing more shy, all the while having to make friends ALL over again. You can kind of see where this is going ;p


    Essentially It came to the point where I realized that I was naturally forcing myself to go to these places to meet new peers; all the while having a nurtured urge to stay at home and be 'safe'.


    My intentions to meet new friends were innocent and natural, but outside nurtured influences created these inhibitions of shyness, quietness, and anxiety that prevented me from being able to express myself and my intentions as a 'coming-of-age' young boy.



    As you can imagine, with puberty right around the door, this odd situation was amplified like a maelstrom the minute I turned 13.





    For the good...


    or the Worse.




    Now there were two paths out of this fork in the road. If I had grown up in a different era and allowed puberty to take it's natural role in dominating this odd attrition, then I wouldn't be on this site today, creating a blog about this. I would've gone through my teenage years like a boss, and not JUST attract women easier, but I would've been more comfortable with myself and self assured in who I was as a YOUNG MAN.


    But I stumbled upon something one day as a 12 year old.


    It was the Internet.



    Now 'back then' ((God I feel old saying that :O lol)) we had Dial-up. It was slow, and very arduous to pull up anything on there. I mentioned I was a gamer earlier, so I'd be having some fun playing those VERY old and atrocious online games like on Nickolodeon and Toonami's websites etc.


    Anywho, as I'm playing and having fun, I was interrupted by this Pop-Up :OOO


    I stopped, and stared at it for a very long time, For I had never seen anything like it before. It was a woman (or more like 5 women lmao) pretty much spreading there limbs to all whom would see on the other side of the 'window'. I could see everything, vaginas, breasts, anus' you name it. It was a little overwhelming so I shut it off in fear...





    At first.


    But I came back...


    And I looked again.​





    And some more, and at this point there was no going back. (Up until now of course! ;D) I started looking at girls that age VERY differently. Essentially Porn had taught me everything about women- on the outside. Which was bad. But the sad part was, literally like an affliction, ALL of the boys were talking about porn. It's as if we were all struck by the same 'Poisoned Arrow' that would chain us until our grave.


    What I remember very vividly is that there was suddenly a big rift, between the boys and girls. Which is odd because when I speak to elders of a different era, they talk about how they all intermingled together and interacted. Essentially instead of all sitting together, the boys sat over 'here' and the girls over 'there'.




    In Isolation.​




    Literally preventing ourselves from learning how to interact with one another. Isn't it crazy? But the more I think about it, the more I see the tragedy within it. So at the boy's table we would talk about porn. Women getting 'humped/fucked', big butts, and big tits, and shaved vaginas (believe it or not) and talk about the girls at our school whom could even come close to fitting this 'Pornstar Image'. Obviously at this time No girl was THAT developed, except for this one girl named Misty, whom just happen to develop a little faster than her peers.




    Can you guess what happened next?




    Nope she wasn't approached by ANY of the boys. They were too scared to even interact with her (obviously from PMOing furiously every day thanks to the Internet.) So they'd sit there and just talk about her junk. What'd they do to her, how 'bangin' she was, etc. Unfortunately for this girl she became insecure in how she looked, her own body and held herself on a very low branch after that. Now girls are very intuitive beings, and weren't blind to how Misty was being treated. At this point in time they had discovered porn too. Now it's pandemonium on a very fragile social scale.


    The Girls would watch it and- just like the boys- had developed this 'Pornstar Image' for what was attractive in a male. And no it wasn't the size of their personality. I'd remember hearing them talk about how long a penis 'could be', shaved/waxed genitals (again lol), how much muscle you could have, and of course how hard you 'could' be pounded.



    None of our parents had even given us the 'talk' yet, and we're ALREADY learning from the worst source possible. It get's worse as my peers and I get older. ;O


    Now where am I in all of this? Check it out.


    Suddenly these girls want a very Alpha like boy, to be attracted to. Well any of the boys including myself could fit that and then some- if we weren't on a daily Porn binge. So I was born vibrant and 'alpha' so to speak, but was nurtured into a sheltered life, and then- to top it off- I was preventing myself from being 'cured' by dumping ALL of that energy into my hand; in front of a computer screen as a Teenager.


    So I could never rise high enough to be one of those guys that Girls would literally 'settle' for.



    Isn't this funny? I'm laughing while writing this on how obvious of an epidemic this is. It's very implicit, very subtle. But if you're intuitive and aware...



    It's There.



    So essentially, I never got a date, never got a girlfriend, and other things that just should've come natural to me and the rest of my peers. Until I went to church...



    Now this has nothing to do with 'Morals', in fact I don't even go to church anymore.



    But it was when I was religious that my perception was heightened by mere accident, and a BIG question mark went off in my head.



    I was an Atheist. I was alone, I had no faith, and I wanted a community to belong to. I didn't even care about girls at this point (which is insane given that I was a sophomore at this point) I just wanted to 'belong' somewhere. SO I made the biggest conversion in my life to Catholicism.



    Atheism to Catholocism?? Yah, Im just gettin started ;D haha



    Putting aside all the moral stuff, I remember simply making a vow to Jesus to never masturbate again, and to save sex until marriage, amen.


    Boy did my life do a flip in one month's time of no P/PMO. I went from Zero, to Hero at my school. I was meeting ALL kinds of people, getting 'tailwaggin' from girls I had never dreamed of being with. It was insane, and the answer and reason behind this was simple. I stopped Masturbating and stopped watching Porn, I literally found that young vibrant boy within me that had been lay dormant for soooo many years.


    But here's the sad part, I was too innocent too notice that it was not necessarily faith that had turned my life around, it was a pro-health choice that I literally made on a whim during Ash Wednesday that very year.



    You can guess what happens next. Lent ends. My 'vows' are lifted, and I go right back to porn thinking that my life is will be fine no MATTER what I do. I'm on top of the world. Nothing can stop me, I'm a Super Saiyan, I'm Superman, I'm invincible.


    The second I bust my insane built up load all for some woman on a screen I had never met before in my life. It all came crashing back down... right back to where I started. A 'relapse' as you people like to call it. Whatever I had built up within that time during Lent, it disappeared like grime amidst a desert. I prayed to God every day and kept putting my 'faith' into that. No one was there to answer.



    I was 'Alone Again' as Dokken used to sing.



    So we have this endless cycle of relapses, ups and downs, and madness.




    Until now :)




    I've recently discovered that this can be fixed, and I'm determined to obliterate this affliction forever. And live in a life of passion, happiness, and comfort. Something I never had growing up. But am determined to pass this on down to my future family, my legacy, and beyond.



    I'm already feeling the effects. It's Day 7 or 8, cant remember. But I am like hot wolf looking for some tail. I've never felt so good. I've met a beautiful Brazilian girl whom Im working on ;D

    and have met a free spirited girl in Astronomy. And even more in my Music classes >:)


    I'm getting all sorts of 'tailwaggin' and looks from girls, I've even had some guys ask me for my number so we can hang out and tear up the town.


    But one thing is important: I'm aware, educated, and willing to make this happen. I'm ready.


    This community is amazing, inspiring and encouraging. Whenever I feel the urge to 'bust a nut' I just come on here and start reading. It really helps, and I feel that this blog will help solidify my journey to 'recovery'. :)



    Let me know what you all think, any comment imaginable is welcome! I intend on keeping this blog updated regularly, I'll find a pace I like and go from there ;D


    But again, thank you for reading, and I look forward to discussing this new lifestyle with you all in the future.



    Sayonora!



    -Lynch
     
  2. Mraxis Lynch

    Mraxis Lynch Waraku Omou Na...

    2-20-11. Day 11 (Homeostasis and Thundercats ;O)


    This is Mraxis, making a quick blog of the unpredictable week 2.


    Wow, Day 7 was trial by fire :eek:, people have told me if you can make it past that 'day of days', then the hard part is already over lol.


    I was horny as hell, and literally anything that passed by me with a pair of thighs, a butt, and breasts got me foaming at the mouth ;P This was awesome because I'm learning how to redirect that energy towards being productive, efficient, and energetic!


    Now that that's over, I'm definitely feeling my body in a confused state over this sudden adaptation. Consciously, however, I'm actually resolute with this, and am taking every 'sudden' impulse with a grain of salt; smiling away knowing that this is all part of my 'resurrection'- so to speak. Some things I've experienced so far would be occasional mood swings, I'll feel very at peace and then all of a sudden I might feel my brows furrow, and my back tense up a bit. Just a random impulse of aggression, and a tad bit of frustration. It only lasts for a bit, then just slips out of my mind like nothing there to begin with.



    I've concluded that this MUST be my bodies natural procedure of flushing out whatever is inside- physiologically and psychologically. My morning 'thundercats' (as I like to call them :D) are appearing some mornings and other times not at all. That's fine, because again I feel this is just apart of that process of getting over PMO.

    What I have noticed when I do have a thundercat however is HOW much potential mine actually has! I feel that, at the moment, my thundercat has around a 25% pump. Now when I say percentage/pump, I'm talking about how 'hard/sensitive' it feels (Not it's actual erect state). Though when I look at it, it feels like it's gotten thicker, hell even longer which make me feel like Conan or some other Barbarian haha! >:D My Testes are no exception either I might add! I feel like they're hanging very low and proud. They're growing and getting hotter all the time, which makes me feel self assured when I can feel them all the time now. Screw porn, and fapping, it's literally the fall of man. I genuinelybelieve that now.



    But here's the interesting part. I see ALL of this potential, yet I STILL feel a numb feeling. Almost as if me and my thundercat are DISCONNECTED, as if we have no real intangible link. That surreal vibe a man should have with his thundercat, where he has REAL control, command and dominance over it. It certainly has a mind of it's own though! And I can easily see that, yet I feel as if there's some distortion that's keeping OUR potential connection 'under lock and key'. Which is the intriguing part, because I'm beginning to feel this numb feeling go away. My theory is this- The more it diminishes, the more sensitive it will get, and my connection will be reestablished which will feel incredible. Then I think I will be taking my first real steps towards wherever it is I'm going :D

    What do you guys think of the weird week 2? I feel like I just made it past the storm, and am now in the odd currents out at sea. The currents are unpredictable, but the horizon is dead ahead and I feel like I'm gonna get there one way or the other!




    Come Hell or High Water. >:D



    BRING IT​

    -Lynch



    *Additional note, I'm reaching my Week 2 landmark, and have a big day tomorrow, so I'll be posting in my journal here again, instead of over at the reuniting blog site ;)

    It's funny, It's as if I already KNOW it's gonna be a good day tomorrow haha, not predicting it either :eek: Like, I genuinely sense, and am assured it WILL be a spectacular day tomorrow :D Not just with women, but in every possible encounter ;)


    I feel like Achilles right now, and am excited on how things are progressing, thanks for the forum Underdog! I will be here indefinitely :D
     
  3. gosewort

    gosewort New Member

    Hi Lynch,

    Welcome to the forum. Quite a story you have there. You know, I too am starting to link my shyness during my teenage years with masturbation. As you, I've been a very outgoing and energetic child and then I just turned into an introvert at around age 14. Guess what I had just discovered?

    At one time I did a fast which kept me for about a week without masturbation. My mom said my face looked much brighter. I thought it was the fast - and it may have been - but now I know that not masturbating was also contributing.

    You can use "x days no PMO" for your counter, meaning x days without any of porn, masturbation or orgasm. If at some point you have different counts you can separate them like x/y no P/MO or even x/y/z no P/M/O or whatever convention you prefer as long as it's clear from the context what it means.

    Congrats on overcoming day 7, be careful around day 21 it's known to be a tough one as well.
     
  4. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Holy shit, you're a good writer Lynch!

    I love your style! It kept me interested in your story.

    It's amazing how there is this belief that porn is totally harmless. It's not. And it has nothing to do with religion (I'm an atheist myself).

    Hopefully with more and more websites like these one we will bring awareness to the world about this problem.

    You're still very young! I wish I had 20 years old when I discovered porn was bad!

    Welcome to the forum, your future is bright!

    By the way:

    PMO means complete abstinence. No porn, no masturbation, and no orgasm.

    PM means no porn and no masturbation.

    P means no porn.

    Some people use / when they want to keep different counters. So for example, 56/43/15 of no P/M/O means: 56 days since the last time you watched porn, 43 days since the last time you masturbated, and 15 days since the last time you orgasmed.
     
  5. cicero

    cicero "It is a great thing to know our vices."

    Agree with TheUnderdog -- love the writing!
     
  6. Mraxis Lynch

    Mraxis Lynch Waraku Omou Na...

    Day 14 - (Wet Dream and Skyrim)



    Wow.​


    Never had a wet dream before, and I feel indifferent 'after effects' as I'm writing this. Kind of good, and kind of bad, but nothing that kept me from going out today.


    Obviously it's not something I can control. With the fact that this is my first hurdle, It's now more clear that this path to being 'Immortal'/ 'Super Saiyan'/ 'Demi-God' is not going to be linear by any sense of the word. :p


    Everyone's been asking me about this game called 'Skyrim', when I told them I've NEVER played, I swear the room stood still, and the temperature dropped several degrees! lol


    One of my new friends went OUT of his way to buy me the game just so I could experience it. So for the past couple of days I've been playing it!





    My word, it is awesome O_O​




    The game is extremely immersive as your thrown into this light fantasy wonder-world of dragons, damsels, castles and elves. I never played a game like this so my mind was eating up all the fluff it had to offer. I stayed up for a bit playing, and then decided it was time to retire for some slumber.


    Skyrim followed me 'home' :O lol


    I'm asleep and all of a sudden I awaken near one of the key holds in Skyrim called 'Whiterun'. If you've never seen that before, imagine a valley with a castle in the center atop a bailey and surrounded by snow covered mountain ranges. Far to the south is a single watchtower that plays sentry over the town's highway.





    That's where I was.


    And in front of me was the most gorgeous damn person I'd ever seen.


    The Best part?


    I know her in Person ;D


    Aww yeah this is recovery at it's sweetest. :D





    Imagine a free spirited girl, with big doe eyes, and light brown hair to match. A glowing face birthed in the sun, and a damn smile that would make a chump's knees buckle. She wore what any typical peasant in Skyrim would wear, but the funny thing is, it's not far off from what she would wear at school! ^_^




    Sounds Good huh?


    Yup, she's that good. ;)





    And in this dream, every single feature about her was highlighted in spotlight fashion. Which befuddles me, because I feel during my PMO binge I would have NEVER of noticed these little things about her before. That alone turns me on, and that is exciting! I feel the curtain parting it's ways, and I'm beginning to see women in a different light. A natural light, and appreciate that simple value.





    But, check it out.​





    I got horny just being in her presence. >:D

    I hadn't even spoken, let alone 'touched' this all too real image.



    Cutting the dream short, not because there wasn't enough happening- there was, because I KNOW I fought a dragon at some point in my dream rofl- but because I can't remember anything up until the point where the dream turned 'wet' ;P


    The imagery, or last scene I will provide- now that I think about it- is relevant in my progression. I find this cool, because the mind is a mystery and the body expresses that in soo many ways.


    We're in this tower, below us is the stairway leading straight to Oblivion (aka 'Hell' in Skyrim ;P lol), and above us the stairs lead to the Sky. The girl takes my hand and I begin to lead her up the stairwell. What goes from an innocent scene to downright sexytime I will never know, but I can recall a few things occurred during our 'encounter'.


    We stopped in the middle of the stairs and literally just started going for each other.




    But not in the hardcore porn way.​




    It was more of a savory kind of touch fest. Getting as close as you could, the scent, the sound, the taste, the sight. All of my senses were being engaged in this dream, and it drove my thundercat WILD. Keep in mind that we're still fully clothed.


    Notice how I left out one of the senses. The 'Feel'.


    When we're on a fap marathon, all we're concentrating on is the 'feel' of it. There's obviously more to a woman, not just in sex, but in her mere presence that Men SHOULD be receptive to. If we've numbed our senses reactions' to these little things that make all women truly beautiful, then how can they feel comfortable- let alone beautiful- if men aren't truly there to notice it, claim it, and cherish it.





    I know what you're thinking.

    Implants right? Because all women know that fixes EVERY-thing ;)

    Gotta live up to that Pornstar image, baby. ​




    Gimme some melons, make my eyes do an iguana chica. While your at it, get some butt implants too. More Makeup please!! Body hair?? Shave that shit, gotta look younger, like an innocent LITTLE girl (Notice how wrong that sounds... and to think most men fantasize about that, and probably worse.) Men love their women like fuckdolls, right?



    Me? I'll Pass :)



    So at this point I'm having the dream of a life time. Without going into too much detail, we almost get to oral before the dream is complete. Now I'm awake, dazed and confused, look at my clock and realize I had only slept for 2 hours- the weird part is that by the time I had gotten my bearings back after what felt like 5 mins, it was HALF an hour later LOL! Talk about odd. :p


    Now I have school the next day so I gotta get as much rest as possible. I wake up with an extremely hard thundercat, and am actually more tired than ever before. I was in a mix of emotions as well, I was disappointed at what happened, but was also a little anxious, lazy, and I nearly skipped school because of this. But after I ate b-fast, I went ahead and threw myself in the car and made myself get back in gear.


    I get to school, and am indifferent to be dead honest. I'm neither on top of the world, nor am I down in the dumps. I'm just kind of 'there' and present for attendance. This allowed me to reflect on how bad it is to feel like this during a PMO lifestyle, and it made me more determined to never feel like that again. I believe my body is re-teaching my mind what is normal and abnormal again. I'm totally fine with this, and am patient and persistent enough to outlive these occasional 'wet dreams', for I feel they are necessary to my brains current rewiring and sensual adaptation.

    Though it wasn't all bad, after I ate lunch and started socializing some more, I started to feel like myself again which is a good thing. I now have proven to myself that even if I have a wet dream, I can still function and it wont COMPLETELY obliterate my day.

    As much as I relish the thought of having another wet dream- and the aftermath effects of one- I welcome them with open arms. I feel that they can teach me ALOT of things about myself, and what is to come.

    I've started perceiving women differently now, that girl that was in my dream looked a WHOLE lot more gorgeous than she did before, and that goes for all other women too. I think these dreams are 'checkpoints' so to speak in our progression. We take a perk from it, and are heightened in sexual energy on our next path, but we're also reminded of the gloomy side if such a pleasure is abused and misvalued.



    I sound like a damn Jedi right now :O lol

    Wont we all be, when the storm subsides. ::)

    PMO Not, and you shall see!



    -Do you have any thoughts on Wet Dreams?

    -Can they be controlled?

    -Should we as a community disregard them as an Orgasm during our no PMO runs? Should we keep counting our streaks of no PMO despite the possibility of having a wet dream?



    We're going to do this, I know we can, we've figured it out, and nothing can stop us now. Unfortunately for the world- as bad as it sounds- they live in a generation full of people whom refuse to believe that PMO is wrong. But take heed! It is right to share this revelation to all whom will lend you their ears and LISTEN. If they don't, then that is fine, we can look to ourselves and know that this- in effect- will slingshot us to the top of the food chain. Our survivability will be near immortal, and the sky will be the limit for our endeavors. Whether it's through following your dream, attaining the girl of your dreams, or living life with an unshakeable peace of mind. I know this is the coming of a new era for Man.


    Thanks to all the awesome comments above, you guys inspire me to keep going! :D



    Let's make it Happen.



    -Lynch
     
  7. osiris

    osiris New Member

    Lynch,

    Wet dreams don't count you can keep counting the days. Your posts are really encouraging, hope to see more!
     
  8. PhoenixRising

    PhoenixRising New Member

    Keep up the good work. I really enjoyed your posts.

    Personally, I don't have it as a goal at the moment to decrease wet dreams. I know that when I stop fapping they'll begin to occur however.

    I have heard that some people have been able to lessen or eliminate wet dreams. One way is to learn how to lucid dream regularly. When you have conscious control over your dreams, you can stop the sex scenes from occurring. I have been able to get myself to lucid dream in the past when I've focused achieving this in various ways.

    Another way is to alter ones behavior patterns in dreams more subconsciously. One time when I was trying to keep my mind pure of P and erotic fantasy I had an erotic dream begin. While we were in the midst of it, I broke away and simply said, "This isn't right." The dream ended and I awoke. I was aroused, but everything was clean down below. I think that controlling the mind while we are awake will allow us to have more indirect control over it during a non-lucid dream.
     

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