So here I am, my first ever post on a forum related to internet porn addiction. I started watching when I was about 13, never PMO'ing, just watching. I guess this was a really early kind of edging. I actually never PMO'd or even orgasmed at all (apart from in wet dreams) until I was 15. From that first PMO, I was hooked. I'm now 21, and am still addicted. But something's changed. I am no longer in denial about my porn addiction. I suspected porn was causing a problem for me, but I never realised to what extent until I came accross Yourbrainonporn.com in August and decided to reboot. I knew it would be hard, and that I would probably fail but the truth is, I have been flat-lining for years, I reckon about 4 of the 6 years of my problem. The amount of shit I've gone through to avoid sexual contact and inevitable embarrassment, the amount of confusion over myself and my sexuality (due to escalation to gay porn and some seriously fucked up shit) , the terrible crippling loneliness, right down in the depths of my very soul, the social anxiety (even though I am a very extroverted person), the hours spent, well fapping. I knew at that moment I had to make a change. I'm without porn now for 23 days. So far I MO'd whilst fantasising on: Day 10 Day 16 x3 Day 17 Day 23 I know it's almost akin to a full relapse, but I don't feel I'm capable of reducing stimulus altogether. I actually MO'd just from reading a not particularly explicit paragraph in a novel today... I feel as if I'm more able to stop porn if I'm still occasionally able to MO. At the moment once a week seems reasonable. I am trying to cut down on the MO completely, though, but it's tough. The ED is also really difficult to cope with, but I got it up easier today, even if it was through fantasising. I am hoping I will be rebooted fully by around Christmas time, as long as I continue to make progress with reducing the frequency of my MO whilst abstaining from porn. I've been meditating a lot and reading a lot about Zen, which I have become very interested in. I think this is a promising path towards reducing my suffering and cultivating mindfulness, free from guilt and shame. I just feel deflated today after I MO'd and I can't concentrate at all even though I have an exam tomorrow. Do any of you have any tips on how I can get studying? I really can't afford for every MO to set me back like this. Also, what are your thoughts on MO but no P? Obviously it will make my reboot slower but I guess you wouldn't just expect to take a heroin straight off the heroin with no interrim period would you?