The Greatest Battles Are Fought Within: Road to Redemption

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Pedigree, Jun 28, 2012.

  1. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    I'll stick around posting now and then as I've been doing for the last 3 months. I won't say whether or not I will leave. Like I said, I've grown attached to this place. I owe the foundation to the life I have now to this place.

    I want to post a series of tips and observations that helped me during my reboot in the near future.

    Went to the book fair today that we were supposed to go to last week. Then went back to her apartment 8).

    Had an epic lovemaking session. I gave her 5 orgasms, she gave me 4. Bloody awesome to hear to a woman moan your name and I'm adjusting well to cumming from someone else's touch. I can say that the aftermath of 4 orgasms from someone else's hand/mouth/pussy is a something to be experienced. The deteriorated and tired feeling is more than offset by the high you feel from having sex with someone.

    It is possible, folks. It took me 16 months between joining the forum and reaching this point. The key is persistence.
  2. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    Really glad to read you're doing so well! An "epic" journey!
  3. Chammorrow

    Chammorrow Member

    That dude Pedigree!!

    First, I wasn't aware that you were a virgin, wow, I like the idea to lose virginity through a relationship and not a random hookup or hooker, so I give you mad respect on that part. Your description of how sex is like is giving me anticipation for when I lose mine..with Erika I hope.

    Great job, nice seeing a veteran going through the hardtimes, sticking with it, and seeing results. Hopefully people can take notes from your journey and be inspired through your determination.

    Continue your journey young padawan....


    at her apartment, of course
  4. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    Thanks, A Short Guy and Cham.

    As promised, seeing at how far I've gotten, I feel that I'm at a place where I can pass on the knowledge and experience I've gained from rebooting.

    Pedigree's observations, musings, and hints on rebooting:

    1. The initial feel good factor upon starting a reboot should be enjoyed with a sober realization that it will not last forever. That initial feel good feeling is your brain breathing a sigh of relief at the brain fog clearing and enjoying the novelty of a brain fog-free environment.

    2. That said, enjoy these moments when the air feels fresher, the sunlight feels more nourishing, and your energy feels more exhillirating. Even more, enjoy the feeling as women in real life become more attractive for the first time in a long time.

    3. The first few days are always easiest. I call the time between this period and the first attack of cravings as “The time it takes for your porn addicted brain to realize that it’s being deprived of something”.

    4. I have what’s called “Threshold Days”. I can’t determine what day these “Threshold Days” are for you as I think everyone’s is different. These are days where the cravings are stronger than normal and the temptation is strong relapse. By whatever means necessary, hold on to the roller coaster. On the other side of these “Threshold Days” are smooth sailing until the next “Threshold Day”.

    5. The effort put into each day of rebooting, whether through staying away from porn or otherwise, is worth more than the amount of days on the counter. 7 days of a strict reboot is going to be worth more than 14 days but with edging.

    6. The amount of days on the counter should not be a reflection of your mental state. One can have great confidence immediately after a relapse as one can have crap confidence even with 6 weeks under their belt.

    7. Streaks are important at least in in the initial phase. You need to gain as much distance as possible from porn that can’t be achieved by relapsing every week. What’s considered a good streak? In my books it’s anything above 30-40 days. A great streak is anything above 50 days.

    8. Going into multiple streaks is also important. One great streak is sometimes not enough and a relapse can undo some of the progress which you have made. Keep building up those streaks.

    9. The effect of chalking up multiple long streaks is that the counter and the streak becomes less and less important. This is because long streaks allows your brain to heal.

    10. IMO, a real flatline is both a physical and a mental flatline. A physical flatline= you not being able to get a boner because your sexually exhausted brain is taking a break. A mental flatline= you not being able to fantasize about sexual situations.

    11. A rebooter can’t be said to be rebooting unless he goes through a flatline. A flatline= your brain doing what’s necessary to fix itself from porn addiction. Not going in a flatline= going around in circles. If you’re struggling in the early stages of a reboot, forget about recovery. Just focus on holding on until you can go into a flatline.

    12. One of the most rewarding feeling in the world is when you turn a corner and you feel your flatline giving way to your natural libido. Much like going into a flatline, getting out of a flatline is a sign that the reboot is in full flow.

    13. Difference between natural libido and porn cravings: Where porn cravings is about throwing explicit sexual images at your brain, natural libido is about an impulse where you’re not neccesarily thinking about sex but that’s the natural conclusion of things.

    14. One of the most important things you need to distinguish is the difference between a flatline and a legitimately non-sexual situation. One of the effects of porn addiction is the belief that you’re always horny when it’s in fact your addicted brain wanting you to watch porn and/or escalate the kinds of porn you watch.

    15. Relapsing is inevitable. You can be as far away from porn as you think you can but the idea of a naked girl on your screen will always be appealing because we’re just wired that way.

    16. When relapsing a good rule is always to get away from the computer and get some fresh air.

    17. One thing that keeps me from bingeing for a long time is the realization that my body is a lot more lenient than what I give it credit for. A relapse after 74 days is a blip, a binge on the other hand will start doing some damage.

    18. The other thing that keeps me bingeing is that there’s no perfect time to get back on track again.

    19. When it comes to relapsing, your mind is going to be harsher than your body. It’s your mind that’s telling you “I might as well binge” while your body says “It’s a bit of turbulence but we can get back on track.”

    20. Use the upset feeling you get from relapsing to fuel you and get a few easy days under your belt in your next streak.

    21. Your question shouldn’t be “Should I MO or not?”, your question should be “How quickly do I want to recover?”

    22. Getting good no MO streaks is important, at least in the beginning of the reboot. What’s a great no MO streak? In my book, anything longer than 14 days is great.

    23. Your addict brain will evacuate its porn cravings to your MO cravings, be on the look out.

    24. If you have to MO remember: Do it to sensation only, do it with a light grip, do not binge, and watch for the chaser effect.

    25. There is going to be less and less importance on having a great no MO streak as time goes on provided that you chalk up some great no MO streaks at the beginning of the recovery.

    26. Grey area= things that are not porn per se but could be detrimental ie. You could MO to it or even binge to it. These include erotica, erotic pictures, bikini models, movie sex scenes etc.

    27. I’m a bit of an agnostic on the grey area. You can continue recovery even while still accessing them but it is going to drain a lot out of you keeping a mental guard up all the time.

    28. Rewiring is what’s going to make your decision to quit porn into something that’s irreversible.

    29. Getting a great reaction from the girls, flirting, dating, making out, having sex, in short anything to do with the opposite sex that’s the slightest bit sexual is rewiring and should be pursued.

    30. Successful rewiring results in there being less incentive for you to watch porn/MO/access grey area material. Even if you do access you will be able to separate acknowledgement of the material’s sexuality and the need to MO to it.

    31. The worse thing someone can do when rebooting is to approach each day with the attitude of “I will not ejaculate to audio-visual sexual images today”.

    32. Rebooting does not automatically improve your life. At best, it only provides a sturdier platform on which you can build your life and live it.

    33. Reading, going to the gym, jogging, youtubing, having a job, socializing, dating, reading self-help books, going to appointments with therapists etc. etc. etc. are all things that you should be doing when you’re rebooting.

    34. In short, the key to rebooting from porn is to reboot your life. By taking porn out of the picture, you’ll find that there’s plenty of real estate in your brain. Real estate that you could use more productively.

    35. Taking porn out of the picture also gives you some pretty stark life choices: Run away or do something about your life. If there are issues that you’ve been running away from or you haven’t been addressing, now’s the time to do some work.

    36. When it comes to women, rebooting only assists you in being more sexual with them; something which helps when it comes to dating. The rest you have to do yourself though.

    37. When it comes to yourself as a man (assuming that most of you here are men), rebooting helps you get in touch with your masculinity and part of being masculine in terms of making you feel horny, strong, dominant, whatever adjective you want. As far as being responsible, being a man of integrity, being a man of values goes, once again you have to do that yourself.

    38. Use the forum well. Use it to get in touch with people in the same boat as you, support each other, and experiment with different ways to reboot. I owe this forum a lot, I wish the people in it well, and I hope others who use it in the future can benefit from it.
  5. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Thank you for taking the time to write that.

    I added spaces after each point to make it easier for others to read.

    I agree a lot with many of the things you say, not so much with others, but a good read nonetheless.
  6. geniussy

    geniussy Guest

    Nice man !!! Keep going hard ...

    ... at her apartment
  7. Great list!

    2. That said, enjoy these moments when the air feels fresher, the sunlight feels more nourishing, and your energy feels more exhillirating. Even more, enjoy the feeling as women in real life become more attractive for the first time in a long time.
    <- This is oh so true.
  8. Hi Pedigree - i havent been on the forum for a while, and this is my last visit.

    The last messages i saw your write were when you were in a really dark place - hopefully you have time to take stock of how far youve come. This was the hardest part for me, acknowledging previous mistakes, forgiving yourself and moving on, as youre clearly doing.

    All the best for now and the future - you are strong enough to do this.
  9. beatsmode31

    beatsmode31 Member

    Just read your whole story with your new gf from the start, and man that was a very nice read. The progression was great to read, you both took it very slow without overthinking the process, perfect receipe for a solid relationship. Great real story.
  10. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Hey man, awesome new that you are doing well

    ... at her apartment
  11. Chammorrow

    Chammorrow Member

    Getting tired of hearing about........

    ...that apartment
    I mean like move on to a house, a movie theater, office, anything but another apartment

    lmao just joking
  12. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    Believe it or not, tonight's her last night at her apartment. She's moving out tomorrow because she's cutting costs. I went over tonight not only for a last session but also to pay my final respects to the bed where I lost my virginity because it's part of that apartment's original furnishing and it's not moving.
  13. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    Pedigrizzly-Bear! Good to hear you lost your v-card matey!
  14. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    Dear all,

    I wish I write under better circumstances.

    Last year, before she met me. My girlfriend Barbara was involved in a car accident. She had a wire placed in her spine to support it. Today, she had a surgery to take out that wire. The wire was taken out and she regained consciousness. But I was notified by the nurse that her situation has deteriorated and that she has been brought back into the operating theater.

    I am now on a business trip but am going to rush to her in the morning. My regret is that I insisted on making this business trip.

    Your prayers, positive thoughts, and good vibes are appreciated.
  15. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    Man Pedigree, what horrible news. Sending prayers, positive thoughts and good vibes your way.
  16. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Man, that sucks.

    Hope she gets better.

    Stay strong man!!!
  17. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    Thanks, guys.

    I can't believe how much I dig her. Not only physically but on an intellectual and emotional level as well.

    It's night over here. I wait anxiously for morning.
  18. J.P.

    J.P. Active Member

    I really hope everything goes well and she is unharmed!

    Don't keep us on edge, let us hear some good news as soon as you do my friend!
  19. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Hope everything works out and she is okay. Best wishes.
  20. a short guy

    a short guy Well-Known Member

    I'm sending loving thoughts, prayers, vibes. Hope she is improving. Stay strong Pedigree.

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