Re: Becoming myself: fixing ED, my brain and hopefully my life So I kind of lapsed. I looked briefly at porn, called again the phone hotline.. but then I removed the number from my phone. I tried calling again, thinking I remembered the number, but I didn't. I tried to google it but couldn't find it. I went to youtube and xtube and looked at a short vid. It didn't elicit a strong response in my cock which made me realized how I needed to touch myself to feel aroused. I didn't touch myself. I decided to leave it as it was. Overall, I am not sure where I stand now. I might have relapsed entirely but I don't feel that I completely did. The road ahead is going to be long, for sure and I have made it longer, but it also made me realize how I didn't really want any of this. The next step should be to delete all these accounts. I have started doing so but it's a daunting task. I need to think about it a little more. What should I erase first? That sort of things. I have destroyed some porn content and access to it today. So not a total loss. And it was some mellow porn that I watched - something that will arouse me still when all is said and done (by that I mean in a real situation, not a virtual one). So I will give myself a little pat on the head. I could have done a lot better sure, but probably a lot worse too.