The Cake is a Lie

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by InsideOut, Aug 26, 2012.

  1. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    While listening to quality Russian Folk/Black Metal.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkRIzRWolIg
     
  2. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    Hi guys :) I'm back now, but not sure I'll check out frequently though. Just have little mood for that now.

    I have my private (keeping it on a mobile), so I think it's better not to scatter and bother keeping all the different counters up to date. Currently I'm on 18th day and it kinda sucks, I feel no improvements at all.

    No, lol, I just messed up a little and feel worse than usual, so converse less in general.

    Yeah, one of the reasons I started meditation :)

    Lol'd :) I'm more into Psychill right now, but that's the nice image you've painted there ;)

    Okay, to the actual matters. For some reason I entered the passive mode of life, as it was several times while I'm here already. Waking up late, doing nothing, no mood, no vigor, failing at activities and so on. I thought about going into a fapping binge and thus restarting the reboot to see if it will work out like it did the last time, but since I'm on the NoFap December challenge, I decided to keep what I have already. I have little sexual desire now, little desire to socialise in any way (and it's quite hard to do IRL now, I'm low on cash and it's very cold to go outside) and little desire to do anything meaningful. I started a new project with my friend, but didn't got to actually work on it yet. Today I slept almost the entire day and I feel like it was the bottom from which I can push off and get more conscious. So my main priority now is to reassemble, reflect and catch up on my "good activities". Strange that no fapping isn't keeping me on needles, looks like something is broke or I lack something for synergy to make my primal energy capable (wtf a newage shit I just wrote).

    Also, I'm very glad to see familiar faces avatars in there, especially I'm glad that StickyHands has returned :)
     
  3. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    I also want to make a confession. I have a compulsive habit of keeping some little items in my hands most of the time. Batteries, pencils, Flash drives, that kind of stuff. It sort of comforts me and (strangely) kicks my creativity. It's very embarssing and weird, but I now see it as a problem. Any thoughts on WTF is this shit? How can I help myself to get rid of it? Keeping vigilant all the time isn't a realistic option, obvious.
     
  4. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    It's clearly bothering him.

    Maybe you can start by getting one of those stress balls?
     
  5. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    Because it's not necessary, it's constant and I feel the urge to do so when I'm not doing so. Clearly a compulsive behavior.
     
  6. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    al, bro... you gotta give it up right here man ;)
     
  7. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    I mean, since I'm in the challenge, I'm to stick with it, lol. Not the way around. Wrong spelling was put in that sentence :)
     
  8. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    Haha, I don't remember the exact convo either, but in one of the MO-challenge or nofapDec. threads you mentioned that they might be more harmful than anything. I pointed to my main reason for the thread was to hear messages such as InsideOut's up there^. Which I had a similar experience as well, and I've read on some others' journals the same reason to not fap.
     
  9. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    Wut? I know that you have had invented that conception recently and eager to apply it everywhere, but that's not the case :) I can say that I'm more being put back when I sleep 'till evening, lol. BTW, today is 20 days in and it doesn't feel like that at all :(
     
  10. CleanHands

    CleanHands Guest

  11. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

  12. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    [​IMG]
    Quite shitty, but nothing new. Will return soon probably.
     
  13. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    And I am sad that Clean Hands is lost.
     
  14. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    How you been doing insideout?
     
  15. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    Fiiine. :)

    Nothing remarkable. Planning to change it somehow, though. Doing nothing, mostly.
     
  16. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    7777 views, lol.
     
  17. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    God is looking to you, oh holy one.
     
  18. CleanHands

    CleanHands Guest

    So what's been going on in your life? How was Christmas and New Year's for you?
     
  19. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    Didn't celebrate Christmas, but New Year turned out surprisingly good. Was talking with parents the whole night, watching concerts on TV and stuff. Except for that, nothing really happened in my life recently -_- In passive state right now. Trying to find something inspiring to pull me off of it, but no success yet.
     
  20. CleanHands

    CleanHands Guest

    I'm at the same stage right now. Nothing that inspires me to work my ass off has popped up yet :(
     

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