The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [OPEN GROUP]

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by LOGOS, Jul 9, 2013.

  1. LOGOS

    LOGOS Personal Best - 233 Days PMO-free

    Hello gentlemen, this will be a group for guys exploring recovery from porn addiction by way of the Dharma. Buddhist reflections on recovery from all streams welcome.

    I'm a 41-year old Zen practitioner. Currently moving through a rough patch (about 5 days since PMO at the moment) but my prior streak was 233 days. Learning a lot from this setback too --- realizing it was bound to happen given my prior approach to recovery and knowing that there are better times ahead.
     
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  2. freedomfromcybersex

    freedomfromcybersex rebooting my brain, reclaiming my body.

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    would like to join the group.

    42 year old with a long history of yoga and meditation. been using mindfulness/vipassana and metta/lovingkindness as part of my reboot. currently 39 days in (closer to 60 with small relapse 39 days ago).

    how's it going today?

    my journal: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=11480.0
     
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  3. LOGOS

    LOGOS Personal Best - 233 Days PMO-free

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    Hello FFCS....

    Great to see you here! We're now a group of two :D

    There are other meditation- and buddhism-inspired guys on the forum, when I have a few minutes soon, I'll track them down and invite them so this party can start rollin' 8)

    -BSM
     
  4. freedomfromcybersex

    freedomfromcybersex rebooting my brain, reclaiming my body.

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    excellent!
     
  5. Bodhissatva

    Bodhissatva New Member

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    Hi Guys,

    I'm in! We are now a group of three (a crowd!!!). My intro to meditation was far from formal, I have no training in any of the discipline you guys have names for, but I am eager to learn. Zed has left the forum, but he left me a book to read, so I will share:

    http://www.amazon.com/The-Experience-Insight-Meditation-Shambhala/dp/0877732264

    I know he also recommended other books, I will try to track'em down and I'll let you know ...

    @plus

    Bodhi
     
  6. Abundance

    Abundance New Member

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    I would love to join, how does this group work?
     
  7. LOGOS

    LOGOS Personal Best - 233 Days PMO-free

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    Hey hey, there are four of us!

    How it works is that we each agree to post at least once a week in this forum (those are the Underdog's guidelines) --- the topic, of course, is Buddhist and/or meditation as inspiration and aid in our recoveries. We can interpret that as loosely as we like.

    Maybe we can each start by introducing ourselves a little in terms of our relation to Buddhism and/or meditation (some of you have done that already).....

    I am an academic, so I buy a lot of books in the normal course of things; over many years, I'd collected a number of books on Zen, which always appealed to me for some reason. But, whenever I opened one to read it, it always recommended meditation. My reaction was always: naaahhh, I can't do that! and the books went on the shelf.

    More recently, thanks to yoga, I began to get the sense that meditation would help me to overcome PMO addiction. But it was only last fall, when I fell into the deepest and worst moment of my addiction, that I really realized I had to get serious about changing my life. So, I started meditating, 15 minutes every morning.

    A few weeks into that routine, I remembered that I had a short shelf of Zen books. Looking at some, their guidance finally meant something to me. It became glaringly obvious that much of Buddha's teaching, insofar as it dealt with craving as a core component of suffering, spoke to my condition as a PMO addict. It also helped me to understand that this addiction (PMO) is a particular case of a more general affliction in our society and the human condition. That helped me to feel less alone.

    Shortly after that I googled Zen in my town; and found the listing for the local Zen Center. Tentatively at first, I got involved there --- now I'm a regular. I've found it to be a major opportunity for personal growth. I'm impressed by the insight of Buddhism in terms of how the mind works, ways to alleviate suffering, and to be more involved in my community too.

    So...that's me. Curious to hear about you guys' path.

    -BSM
     
  8. freedomfromcybersex

    freedomfromcybersex rebooting my brain, reclaiming my body.

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    i would like to suggest we set up some kind of meditation by phone or even just a set time to meditate in support of one another eventually...

    i will give you guys more about me tomorrow. gotta go to bed right now.
     
  9. LOGOS

    LOGOS Personal Best - 233 Days PMO-free

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    What do others make of FFCS's idea of telemeditation? My own practice is a silent one, and I'm kind of shy as it is --- so I don't think it's a path for me, but I think others might be open to it. Meanwhile, I do know that there are conference call discussions, described on another thread in Groups and Meetups as well, may be worth checking out. Dedicating a meditation (say, weekly) to the common endeavor of the group is an idea that appeals a lot to me --- any ideas of how to organize it?

    One bit of housekeeping: how large should this group be? Underdog says groups should have at least 5 but no more than 15 members. I like the idea of 15 (if we ever get that many!) but open to suggestions.

    Lastly, to add a more substantive thought, I've been thinking about the importance of routine to my practice, and to my reboot/recovery. I posted this on my journal, and maybe it's really particular to Zen, but seemed relevant here too. Annie Dillard put it timelessly, like this:

    "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing.

    "A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor with both hands at sections of time. A schedule is a mock-up of reason and order—willed, faked, and so brought into being; it is a peace and a haven set into the wreck of time; it is a lifeboat on which you find yourself, decades later, still living."

    .....

    In Zen we speak of "the posture of time." Robert Aitkin wrote:

    "You have to fix a schedule for yourself. The best arrangement is one designed to minimize decision-making. It may seem a denial of human dignity and maturity to minimize the number of decisions you have to make, but the fact is that streamlining your life in this way will allow you to turn your full energies to your practice. Just cooking, just typing, just resting, just sitting---taking each thing in its turn with full attention is your practice.... "Just as you are free to apply yourself fully to...breath after breath [in seated meditation], so you can freely and easily turn from work to play to zazen to sleep and so on, investing yourself in each, when your schedule is balanced and stable." (Taking the Path of Zen, p. 31)
     
  10. xravenousx

    xravenousx New Member

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    Hello!
    I've recently become interested in meditation.
    What book(s) would you recommend for a beginner?

    PS.
    I'm particularly interested in ways and methods of achieving a deep state of mind and body relaxation. Thanks in advance!
     
  11. freedomfromcybersex

    freedomfromcybersex rebooting my brain, reclaiming my body.

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    hi xravenousx

    i suggest checking out jack kornfield, pema chodron and stephen batchelor online and see which of them you like. they are contemporary buddhist teachers who have videos and books and audio programs etc...

    calm.com also has nice simple 5, 10 or 20 minute guided meditations based on buddhist mindfulness.

    let me know how it goes!
     
  12. freedomfromcybersex

    freedomfromcybersex rebooting my brain, reclaiming my body.

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    hi guys - i am finally getting back around to introducing myself more...

    i am almost 43. been meditating on and off for over 25 years. also have done a lot of yoga and psychotherapy. somehow none of these things shone light on the last 10 years of deeply compulsive porn consumption, which turned into a wildfire of addictive destruction.

    now that i have been exposed to and by my girlfriend via a crisis of betrayal and have gotten into my reboot, i am using those different tools and practices to support the process and it is going well.

    initially, having a mindfulness/vipassana type meditation practice was amazing for sitting with the cravings and fantasies and choosing not to act on them, but rather notice the deeper emotions with which they were associated.

    i also had a hard time with all the traditional god stuff in the SA/SAA meetings i attended in the beginning of my reboot and am looking for alternative support group situations that don't rely on me having to pretend i believe things i don't.

    we have restarted the phone meetings to be every wednesday at 10 a.m. PST and 1 p.m. EST. join us please! at this point it is not a meditation based group, but we may be able to introduce some over time.... info here: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=10398.0
     
  13. xravenousx

    xravenousx New Member

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    Thank you very much!
    I will look into the authors you've kindly suggested.
     
  14. Bodhissatva

    Bodhissatva New Member

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    Hi xravenousx,

    I just recently purchased the 2 first books from http://www.aypsite.com, as suggested by OmegaMan. The practice is easy and non-sectarian. I purchased the books to help the author, but he also gives most of the material up for free on the site. I found this to be easy to start and quite practical. I will give more news as I go through the books and practice more. I am currently aiming at 2 x 20 minutes meditations, as recommended by the author. I am setting my schedule up to achieve it. So far, so good!

    Bodhi
     
  15. freedomfromcybersex

    freedomfromcybersex rebooting my brain, reclaiming my body.

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    i have been enjoying calm.com as well - really nice guided meditation website with rain sounds..
     
  16. LOGOS

    LOGOS Personal Best - 233 Days PMO-free

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    In terms of further book recommendations, the things I will mention all come out of Zen traditions. Robert Aitkin's *Taking the Path of Zen* has solid practical advice on how to establish a meditation practice, woven into a larger discussion of how to establish a Zen practice more generally (which may or may not be of interest to some). Uchiyama's *Opening the Hand of Thought* also has a few good chapters on meditation---I think it's like the 2nd or 3rd chapter (will be evident by flipping through the book; I've lent my copy out). Lastly, for an established meditator, Shunryu Suzuki's *Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind* is excellent for short reflections that can be used before or after meditation.
     
  17. freedomfromcybersex

    freedomfromcybersex rebooting my brain, reclaiming my body.

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    anyone on board for the conference call tomorrow at 1 pm EST, 10 am PST?

    details here http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=10398.0

    please join us!
     
  18. LOGOS

    LOGOS Personal Best - 233 Days PMO-free

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    I'm working then, but thanks for the encouragement....
     
  19. freedomfromcybersex

    freedomfromcybersex rebooting my brain, reclaiming my body.

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    hey guys - join us for the totally FREE telephone conference call support meeting tomorrow at 10 a.m. PST 1 pm EST:

    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=10398.0
     
  20. CaptainGoji

    CaptainGoji Guest

    Re: The Buddha-Dharma Reboot [GROUP] - Wide open

    Hi all, I'm a practicing Mahayana Buddhist and just started a journal on the forum. This looks like a nice group, so count me in! Everytime I PMO it's like I turn my back on my beliefs and practices and it eats me up inside each time. It's completely wrong morally in my eyes, yet I have not been able to abstain for some time.

    I'm not even going to get started on the energy devastation excessive ejaculation has on a person's qi, but I have found another site, The Tao Bums, very helpful for those kinds of talks. I often find myself 'edging' to seminude pics alot, lying to myself saying i'm not going to orgasm and these pics aren't really porn. What a lie.

    I'm really getting my thoughts organized this time around and have alot of motivation to end this once and for all. I'm 27 years old and stopped porn when I was 19 for a few years, until it slowly slipped back into my life.

    It really is a powerful addiction, or habit, call it what you will, but I know if I stay focused with my martial arts training (kung fu, tai chi, qi gong) and keep up with daily meditation I will have no problem overcoming it, it will still be difficult for sure, but it can be done with a few lifestyle changes as I have done in the past.

    I'm glad I'm not in a relationship with a woman right now, this habit is one I need to break before that happens, but from this day forth there will be no more masturbation for me. 8)
     

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