Exactly, these recovery or half recovery moments are short lived for me too. Also i get hyper arousal, and deep flatlines alternations, unfortunately, the deeper flatlines are more dominant. Hopefully with longer abstinence, our bodies readjust and find the right balance. I also get hard mw sometimes, not consistent. After hours of research, the shriveled up penis, could also be a sign of pelvic floor dysfunction or hard flaccid. To make sure if you had this or not. Compare your flaccid size using this method: After laying down on bed for some time, completely relaxed, stand up, wait 2 minutes, if ur flaccid size shrinks and hardens up, as if it's made of rubber, then you definitely have hard flaccid If when peeing, ur penis relaxes, and the shriveled look is temporarily reversed, another red flag you have hard flaccid. Try to do a plank exercise until your abdominal starts shaking, stand up and see if your penis has shrinked as bad as it could, yes definitely hard flaccid. Hard flaccid shares pied symptoms, low libido, genital numbness, difficulty getting and maintaining erections, fortunately it's reversable, but unfortunately, lots of work and presistence are waiting for you. This will take 3 to 5 months of hard work dping stretching and core strengthening exercises to get nice improvements. Numbness should go away, when a healthy blood flow goes through the penis for several hours. I think this is why, i have a better libido, and more responsive penis in the mornings.... If you have hard flaccid, you probably have this too. These are my own conclusions, i might not be 100% correct. I have a question for you, you havent used or aren't taking antidepressants or propecia right? If that's the case, that's another thing which could give pied like symptoms.
No, I don't take any medications at all. I doubt that it's hard flaccid, I did try the exercises you mentioned, but didn't get any of the symptoms that come after, my penis was still hanging lower anyhow, plus when it does shrink it's still pretty soft, not semi-hard while flaccid. From what I read, hard flaccid happens due to trauma to the penis because of excessive or rough masturbation or intercourse. I never actually treated my penis roughly, though. I know some guys masturbate by rubbing their penis against their bed or pillow, but I can only imagine how doing that can damage the penis.
Keep it up, MindPoison. The 90 days was a great achievement, and it looks like you've handled losing the streak like a trooper. Every day you say no, whether the 1st or the 100th, is a big win and a big step to freedom.
Day 8: Slept badly last night, and the cravings were kind of annoying with some porn flashbacks at work, but they went away after a while. No more cravings for the rest of the afternoon.
Day 9: Slept a lot better. Minor cravings at work that went away fast. The rest of the day went by smoothly.
Day 12: No cravings throughout the day. My mind was occupied with a lot of things, so even the thought of that or porn memories didn't have a chance to creep in.
Day 13: (Saturday's entry) Some cravings caused by porn memories that tried to creep in during the evening. Other than that it wasn't too bad, I didn't have any trouble keeping the cravings at bay.
Day 16: The past couple of days were easy in terms of cravings, today, however, was more difficult due to having slept badly last night. I managed to survive, though.
Day 21 Sunday: Minor cravings in the morning that were easily ignored. Nothing else during the day, though, I was a bit tired due to having slept so so last night, but that's all, and thankfully it didn't cause any intense cravings for masturbation.
Day 24 Wednesday: Some annoying cravings today, didn't get a good night's sleep last night, but overall it wasn't too bad of a day.