The Beginning Of The Curse's End

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by MindPoison, Jan 30, 2021.

  1. PMO=ED

    PMO=ED Member

    I also go through these windows where there are days i have cravings, i feel sensitive, very responsive to touch and occasionally trigger semi or full erections by thoughts, and also PE signs because it feels so good down there. It seems like short windows of recovery then dive in into a flatline again, where my penis is irresponsive and gets semi hard at best, cold glans, shrinkage, and numbness. This is going for 9 months now with only one relapse.
    Before pied, i always had constant masturbation urges, i realize now those were instense dopamine cravings, 24/7 sex thoughts and hyper sexuality which is now has become hyposexuality because of pied. When i I didn't have pied my junk responded everytime i touched it and could do it even when i was sick in bed and wasn't horny. Now it only responds when my natural libido is triggered. So that's when i don't feel shrinkage, cold penis, and numbness. Sometimes i doubt my condition is pied, but readings similar symptoms on other people, gives me hope.

    Stay presistent bro. My anti pmo defense is each time i am about to relapse, i remember my failed attempts to have sex, lose virginity which something i have ways dreamed of and then not feeling anything, it wasn't even enjoyable, felt asexual and i had to fake excitement in order not to hurt the girls feelings. Mind you, i am a severe case and porn didn't make me hard too.
    Now after two streaks of 70 days and 160 days , not nearly recovered... Besides these windows where suddenly i feel horny and thinking about sex becomes enjoyable. I would say I am flatlining 75% of the time and the flatline is always deeper and more severe at the end of the day, after jogging, training.. which is killing me and making me doubt it's pied, because no one besides you here has talked about this symptom. It could be adrenal fatigue as you discussed in older comments with another user.
    Sorry for writing too long on your thread, i will have my own journal soon.
  2. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Nah, no worries, I don't have any problems with other people posting their thoughts here regarding this addiction. Funny that you mention feeling suddenly sensitive down there. Just a few hours ago I was able to get semi-hard from touch alone, but sadly it was short lived. Not the first time it's happened either.

    One thing that's helped me stay away from porn is by treating my computer only for my creative projects and other stuff that's not porn related, and if I visit a porn site I reinstall everything on it. I was never comfortable using my creative work computer for also looking at porn, so the psychological blockage actually helped a lot, plus, similar to what you've mentioned, I don't want to be in a flatline for the rest of my life.

    So hold up, you also noticed your penis shrivel up after exercising too???? I thought it was some weird coincidence, I didn't want to sound like I was BS-ing anyone here since I can't really confirm that it somehow affects the flatline since there are times when my flaccid hangs lower and other times when it's shriveled up anyhow, but looks like there might be something to it after all if you're also getting it.
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2021
  3. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 3:

    This morning I woke up with morning wood again, a pretty hard one too. I didn't have any cravings to masturbate today, but I did manage to get semi-hard from touch which didn't last long. Interestingly, even though it felt good to touch down there, and I got somewhat hard, I had no desire to masturbate anyhow.
  4. PMO=ED

    PMO=ED Member

    Exactly, these recovery or half recovery moments are short lived for me too. Also i get hyper arousal, and deep flatlines alternations, unfortunately, the deeper flatlines are more dominant. Hopefully with longer abstinence, our bodies readjust and find the right balance.

    I also get hard mw sometimes, not consistent.

    After hours of research, the shriveled up penis, could also be a sign of pelvic floor dysfunction or hard flaccid. To make sure if you had this or not. Compare your flaccid size using this method:

    After laying down on bed for some time, completely relaxed, stand up, wait 2 minutes, if ur flaccid size shrinks and hardens up, as if it's made of rubber, then you definitely have hard flaccid

    If when peeing, ur penis relaxes, and the shriveled look is temporarily reversed, another red flag you have hard flaccid.

    Try to do a plank exercise until your abdominal starts shaking, stand up and see if your penis has shrinked as bad as it could, yes definitely hard flaccid.

    Hard flaccid shares pied symptoms, low libido, genital numbness, difficulty getting and maintaining erections, fortunately it's reversable, but unfortunately, lots of work and presistence are waiting for you. This will take 3 to 5 months of hard work dping stretching and core strengthening exercises to get nice improvements.

    Numbness should go away, when a healthy blood flow goes through the penis for several hours. I think this is why, i have a better libido, and more responsive penis in the mornings.... If you have hard flaccid, you probably have this too.

    These are my own conclusions, i might not be 100% correct.

    I have a question for you, you havent used or aren't taking antidepressants or propecia right? If that's the case, that's another thing which could give pied like symptoms.
  5. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    No, I don't take any medications at all. I doubt that it's hard flaccid, I did try the exercises you mentioned, but didn't get any of the symptoms that come after, my penis was still hanging lower anyhow, plus when it does shrink it's still pretty soft, not semi-hard while flaccid. From what I read, hard flaccid happens due to trauma to the penis because of excessive or rough masturbation or intercourse. I never actually treated my penis roughly, though. I know some guys masturbate by rubbing their penis against their bed or pillow, but I can only imagine how doing that can damage the penis.
    PMO=ED likes this.
  6. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Day 4:

    Zero cravings today. Overall peaceful day today, plus I was off from work.
  7. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Day 5:

    No cravings and again another easy day.
    JohannesParvus likes this.
  8. Keep it up, MindPoison. The 90 days was a great achievement, and it looks like you've handled losing the streak like a trooper. Every day you say no, whether the 1st or the 100th, is a big win and a big step to freedom.
    MindPoison likes this.
  9. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Day 6:

    Minor cravings last night that weren't a problem. That's all.
    JohannesParvus likes this.
  10. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Day 7:

    No cravings, that's all I can say.
  11. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Day 8:

    Slept badly last night, and the cravings were kind of annoying with some porn flashbacks at work, but they went away after a while. No more cravings for the rest of the afternoon.
  12. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Day 9:

    Slept a lot better. Minor cravings at work that went away fast. The rest of the day went by smoothly.
    JohannesParvus likes this.
  13. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Day 10:

    Slept alright, minor cravings in the afternoon that went away quick.
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2021
  14. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Day 11:

    Yesterday's entry. Minor cravings in the morning, but that's about it.
  15. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Day 12:

    No cravings throughout the day. My mind was occupied with a lot of things, so even the thought of that or porn memories didn't have a chance to creep in.
  16. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Day 13: (Saturday's entry)

    Some cravings caused by porn memories that tried to creep in during the evening. Other than that it wasn't too bad, I didn't have any trouble keeping the cravings at bay.
  17. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Day 16:

    The past couple of days were easy in terms of cravings, today, however, was more difficult due to having slept badly last night. I managed to survive, though.
  18. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Day 17:

    Annoying cravings again, but I'm alright. I did sleep better, though.
  19. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Day 18:

    Minor cravings in the morning at work, the rest of the day was smooth.
  20. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Day 19:

    No cravings today thankfully.

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