The Beginning Of The Curse's End

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by MindPoison, Jan 30, 2021.

  1. Sorry to hear that MindPoison, but maybe it's a sign that you're now in the middle of the curse's end.
     
    MindPoison likes this.
  2. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 82:

    Woke up with a pretty hard morning wood. Had some cravings at night that went away quickly afterwards.
     
  3. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 83:

    Some cravings today, but not too annoying. Had a nice outing today too, it was pretty refreshing.
     
  4. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 86:

    Caught a cold, been sick since Tuesday. Got some cravings thanks to sleep deprivation caused by stuffy nose and clogged up ears, but I'm OK. Can't wait for this stupid cold to pass.
     
    PMO=ED likes this.
  5. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 90:

    The cold is almost gone, still have a bit of coughing, but that's all. The cravings did get a bit annoying yesterday, I accidentally came across a sexy video, needless to say my brain was like duuuuuuh, but I'm better now. Finally made it to 3 months.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2021
    PMO=ED and NewStart19 like this.
  6. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 0:

    Well, yesterday I screwed up, sadly. That video from yesterday replayed in my head again, and it led to down into looking up porn. I didn't masturbate to the porn, managed to shut it down, but I did cave in to the cravings that came after. So with that I begin at day zero of no orgasms once more. -_- But oh well.
     
    NewStart19 likes this.
  7. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    @MindPoison

    Just wanted to make a quick post letting you know that periodically reading about your progress had a positive impact on me and my efforts. Not sure if this will provide you with any palpable motivation, but I thought it was worth a shot. Your progress was pretty incredible. I think you can do this again and much more.

    Hang in there
     
    JohannesParvus and MindPoison like this.
  8. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    I'm happy to know that my progress inspired you. No worries, I'll get there again eventually for sure.
     
    NewStart19 likes this.
  9. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 1:

    I felt kinda lethargic today thanks to yesterday's orgasm; I still did manage to get some things done, but I didn't feel like doing much. Cravings to masturbate again were there but weren't too much of a problem.
     
  10. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 2:

    Had a pretty good day today at work. Cravings weren't there today, and my mood and energy were overall pretty good. The sluggishness of the first day is pretty much gone, thankfully. One thing I'm definitely gonna start doing is be more mindful of touching my penis. I know most of us probably have that habit of cupping ones genitals when at home, but according to Gary's website it's not such a good idea, so it's best to only touch down there when showering or peeing.
     
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2021
  11. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 3:

    Another nice day. Cravings were barely there and got to work a lot on my creative projects. Been sleeping better these days too.
     
  12. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 4:

    Another easy day gone by. I slept so so, but I had no problems with cravings to masturbate. Thank goodness.
     
  13. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 5:

    Had a wet dream last night, other than that not a hard day.
     
  14. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 0:

    Sadly, I barely got any sleep, so the cravings were pretty strong during the day. Just goes to show you how important getting a good night's sleep is in maintaining your willpower. Didn't watch porn, but did masturbate. Okay, no more playing games, this time it's serious. :mad::mad::mad:
    On a positive note, the orgasms have gotten stronger, they used to be so weak in the past, but now they actually feel good, guess my brain's managed to heal my dopamine receptors pretty well thanks to the 90 day streak I had. Something tells me rewiring's the last step I need to take to finally healing completely, but sadly, I'm not in a relationship at the moment, and where I live the women aren't exactly relationship material either (it's a pretty small community). Been wanting to move abroad, but thanks to Covid and financial problems I haven't been able to go through with this plan yet.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2021 at 6:54 AM
  15. Bilbo Swaggins

    Bilbo Swaggins Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear this. Just try your best to get back on the horse, and it will be all right. Don’t worry about rewiring either. In some ways, hard mode is probably the best way to heal, because you can really give your system a complete break.

    It will be all right, man. You’ve been at this for a long time, and you’re doing good. You just need to bring this a step forward. Before you know it, porn and ED will be a thing of the past for you.
     
    MindPoison likes this.
  16. PMO=ED

    PMO=ED Member

    Bro i am following your journal, we share the same symptoms,i read that your pied is worse after you do sports, and during the evenings right? I read this in one of your comments.

    Do you still have pied?

    When you have urges, are you naturally genuinely horny or just out of boredom and the need for a dopamine fix?
     
  17. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    It's not genuine horniness, dude. It's basically the dopamine fix my brain is after, I still have PIED. That's why I've been focusing on keeping those cravings down in my journal since porn isn't such a huge problem anymore, but the cravings for an orgasm still are. Best way to describe it is that it's like something possesses my mind and starts rationalizing why it's a good idea to go through with it (i.e masturbating is natural, it won't do you any harm like porn does etc), but it tends to be pretty bad when I sleep badly since my willpower tends to be pretty low then. During the 90 day streak I was sleeping alright often, so the cravings weren't a huge problem, so I was able to make it that far.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2021 at 8:07 AM
  18. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Thanks for your support, man. Really means a lot. And you're right, I do have to take it a step forward, after finally making 90 days this is unacceptable. Oddly enough, I don't feel lethargic today like I did last week when I watched porn and then masturbated without watching it. Looks like Gary was right, without porn the dopamine receptors don't go in overdrive, so the 'hangover' effects tend to be a lot less.
     
    PMO=ED and Bilbo Swaggins like this.
  19. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 1:

    As I've mentioned before, despite last night's orgasm I didn't feel lethargic, thankfully. My brain didn't crave for another dopamine fix today, I'm pretty much numb down there.
     
  20. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 2:

    Minor cravings for a dopamine fix that were barely there, nothing annoying, the day went by easily. Most of the time these cravings for masturbation are so weak that sometimes I get a weak erection, but my penis becomes flaccid almost immediately after, or there's no erection at all despite my addict brain trying to convince me, and this time there wasn't despite my brain asking for it. Whenever I did cave in it was like I had gotten possessed by something, and my erection was almost completely hard (it wasn't rock solid, but almost there). Last night I woke up with morning wood before taking a quick trip to the bathroom, and also when I woke up once the sun had risen.
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2021 at 9:25 PM
    PMO=ED likes this.

Share This Page