Day 44: No cravings at all. Finished working on one project, and now working on another. Had a wet dream last night, but it didn't affect me badly despite interrupting my sleep. The fact that I haven't peeked even once during all this time's really helped me out a lot so far. Like UnderDog once said: If you never peek you will never relapse. Thank you mindfulness.
Glad you got through the wet dream, I always find them fairly unbalancing too. But it's nice to have them! Especially now that we're not teenagers any more. It's a great quote too, and amazing that you've managed to stick by it! All the best for the coming days and the new project.
Personally, as good as the orgasm feels, I don't really like wet dreams since the brain is still using up dopamine even if the orgasm itself isn't intentional, it kind of bothers me since they sort of get in the way of a successful streak, but they're pretty much inevitable, sadly; they're always gonna happen at some point. Though, I suspect they don't really slow down the reboot as much since I don't get any 'hangover' effects from it like I do when I relapse.
Day 46: A quick entry since I have to go just now. Not much to say. The day went by nicely, currently working on my new creative project, so far it's going alright, still in the planning stage. Desire to masturbate was non-existent today.
Day 65: Been a while again since I last posted. Things have been going pretty well. Not only have I made it passed 2 months, Porn/masturbation cravings have become extremely weak, in fact, I only had cravings a couple of times in the past week, but I barely felt them. Had a wet dream last week, and man, what a powerful orgasm that was, totally wiped out my sleep for the rest of that night (circa 4:00 am), but it's great since it's a sign that my dopamine receptors are making a lot of progress with recovery. Just recently, I applied for a school abroad, now just have to wait to get the procedures/admission requirements from them in about a month's time. Things are slowly starting to move forward after a few months of stagnation.
Day 68: Almost screwed up yesterday. I was pretty lethargic yesterday since I slept horribly the night before, and my brain went on automatic mode. I was able to snap out of it though, thank goodness this addiction has gotten very weak now. Did feel the effects somewhat in my brain and down there the next day (no brain fog, just a weird sensation that lingers for a bit after getting a porn induced erection and shriveled penis), but it wasn't too bad. Slept better today, though, barely had cravings to look up stuff again, they were easy to ignore. Slowly starting to draw more again. Not that I stopped or anything, but I've been busy with other projects, so I hadn't been doing that as much, but I really want to make more time for it now.
Day 81: Last week I signed up for a writing workshop which starts beginning of next month, should be pretty interesting. Almost screwed up yesterday, ended up looking up porn last night, but lost interest pretty fast once I saw how ridiculous it was, I mean the lines they used were so obviously fake and cheesy, I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I didn't have a full blown relapse, thankfully, but it made it hard to sleep at first, so I woke up kind of sleep deprived today, but I guess that's my punishment for that slip up. No cravings to look up porn again today.
Yay for the writing workshop! That's a cool thing to sign up for. And really impressive that you redirected yourself mid-P on Thursday! That shows a lot of progress, that the cravings (and dopamine) weren't enough to carry you through all the way to the end. Hopefully you can remember that feeling the next time you feel cravings coming along, or your subconscious pulling you to the false idol. All the best for the coming week! (Nearly 90 days!!)
Day 85: The writing workshop started off nicely. Nice feed back and overall good atmosphere in the class, just the way I like it. Gonna be posting my entries here in the mornings mostly, my schedule's become pretty packed now, at least during the week it's packed. Porn & masturbation cravings were non-existent during the day, including the last 4 days after the slip up.
excellent report MP, good for you getting busy, that will help for sure. Excellent too that you showed restraint, that´s probably the hardest thing to do for folks like us. Keep it going, eyes on the prize only
Day 95: 90 days down!!!!! The writing workshop's been super great. Great atmosphere, and nice feedback we're getting. So far so good, working on an assignment for a school abroad during the time in between work and the lessons. Cravings have been mostly non-existent, only had some a few days ago, but that's about it.
90!!! The big 9 -0 !!!!! It feels like so many people here are experiencing successes at the minute, and I'm super happy for yours too. You really sound like you've found your feet, and some good habits (habits in every sense, truly). Hope you're feeling mega proud, MP. BIG congrats
