The Beginning Of The Curse's End

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by MindPoison, Jan 30, 2021.

  1. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Hey there guys, just to give a brief introduction: I've been dealing with this addiction for a long, long time, and after a lot of struggles I feel like I'm close to finally recovering from this curse. PIED is still a problem, unfortunately, but the cravings have gotten to a point where they're extremely weak/almost non-existent.
    I'd figure posting a journal on here would be very beneficial since it might help me be more mindful of cravings if they ever pop up. Hopefully, this'll be the year I'll finally recover my libido, so it's time to end this thing finally.

    So far I'm on day 21 of being totally clean. The last screw up was from masturbation alone, no porn, but I'm trying to avoid all of it completely for now, so masturbation is out of the picture.

    DAY 1 - DAY 20:

    Cravings have been nearly non-existent. I've had some 'pervy' thoughts try to creep in, but I've managed to change my thoughts to something else immediately. Libido is totally non-existent at the moment. I've had morning wood here and there, but still kind of weak, and there were a couple of moments of semen leakage. Will post a brief entry by the end of day 21 (today).
  2. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 21:

    Had a very weak craving to masturbate that dissipated as quick as it came. No desire to look up porn whatsoever. That's all.
  3. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 22:

    Had a minor craving, but again I barely felt it. Sex drive is non-existent still, but I'm positive it'll come back at some point this year as long as I don't have any orgasms whatsoever.
  4. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 23:

    Minor cravings, but managed to keep them under control. I think the sleep deprivation contributed to those, so gonna make sure to sleep better.
  5. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 24:

    Didn't post the entry for day 24 last night since I had a super busy day yesterday, had to meet up with someone to discuss about writing in the afternoon, and had to go to art class last night, but overall it was an easy day in terms of staying mindful of cravings. Just six more days before reaching the 30 day mile stone, let's do this!!!!!!!
  6. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 25:

    Yesterday was an easy day overall. Cravings were non-existent. Honestly feeling glad I decided to start journalling here again, it's really helping me be more mindful and motivated.
    Deleted User likes this.
  7. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 26:

    Another easy day today. No cravings and overall the day was nice. Once I reach day 30 that's when the real challenge begins: making it to the 60 day milestone.
  8. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 27:

    Had sexual fantasies in the morning, but managed to ignore them quickly, especially once I started working. The rest of the day was busy, especially since I was organizing stuff where I live.
  9. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 28:

    Day 28 isn't over yet, but I still want to post this right now anyhow, I'll write about the rest of the day later. Woke up with morning wood, and a pretty hard one too. My penis always feels sensitive to touch after it starts to go flaccid again every time. Looks like I'm pretty close to recovering from this thing.

    Easy day, overall. Cravings were non-existent today.
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2021
  10. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 29:

    Well, today is officially the last day before the 30 day milestone. Today was an easy day again. I had some old porn fantasies that tried creeping in but I managed to block them immediately by shifting my thoughts to something else. Tomorrow is the start of a new challenge: making it to 60 days, and I'm confident I'll be able to make it there again after so long. One thing I'm gonna try to improve on is my sleep patterns. I've been waking up earlier than I'm supposed to often, and it's exhausting. Gonna have to end that too.
  11. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    Congratulations on coming up on one month !
    MindPoison likes this.
  12. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Thanks man! Back when the cravings were strong things always got hard after reaching 14 days, but now it's gotten a lot easier.
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  13. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 30:

    Had a rough night last night, glad I was off from work today. I had more cravings than usual because of the sleep deprivation, but they weren't a big deal. I've managed to ignore most of them successfully, plus it helped a lot that I took a nap and kept myself busy with different creative projects throughout the day.
  14. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 31:

    Had some cravings at the start of the day, but again, they were easy to overcome. Slept decently last night, I went to sleep earlier than usual, so that helped a lot seeing as how I tend to wake up earlier than I'm supposed to. Had a nice outing tonight with the art class, not a bad day.
  15. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 32:

    In order to reduce the amount of blue night so my sleep doesn't get disrupted, I've decided to post the entry for the day the following morning. So the day was kind of difficult: I was sleep deprived and had more cravings than usual, oh man. So far, morning wood rarely happens, but they happen on some days if I'm lucky. Can't wait to see how things will be once I reach the 60 day milestone.
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2021
    Deleted User likes this.
  16. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 33:

    Slept wonderfully. I was able to be productive throughout the day and cravings were barely there.
  17. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 34:

    Slept pretty bad, but thankfully cravings were still minimum. Accidentally saw a sex scene on TV, but that was changed immediately. The after effects weren't so bad... but man, that was a close call.
  18. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 35:

    Slept alright, not so good, but not so bad. No cravings today. The rest of the day was alright. Worked on a creative project I'm busy on.
  19. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 36:

    Today was a pretty decent day. Ate a bunch of chocolate till I got sick of it. Once that passed I ate some more chocolate anyway. :p:D I did have some urges this morning, but I got them under control pretty darn well. It's fascinating, though, just how strong the cravings are at the beginning of a reboot; it's almost like a demon possesses you and completely overrides your ability to think, but now the cravings are so weak they're actually easy to ignore, particularly when you're mindful during the day. Honestly, cannot WAIT to get my sex drive back, I cannot stress that enough.
    RuinedMyLife likes this.
  20. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    DAY 37:

    Slept pretty good. Had some cravings to masturbate in the afternoon, got them under control.
    Deleted User likes this.

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