Tearing Down the Walls, Part 2.

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Billy B., Oct 23, 2016.

  1. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Well said. I've failed at the love and patience part a few times. Practice makes perfect, though. :) Glad you're back posting, bud.
  2. Abc

    Abc The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    Looking forward to the day when I can see you in concert, Billy B:D
  3. Mad Dog

    Mad Dog Well-Known Member

    Billly. Are u ok?
  4. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Billy's long gone. I hope he comes back and that he's doing well.
  5. Mad Dog

    Mad Dog Well-Known Member

    Damm IT! I am back billys gone!
  6. Abc

    Abc The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    Mad Dog and Libertad like this.
  7. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Come on back, BB.
    Mad Dog likes this.
  8. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Gawd.... I'd apologise for being a stranger but that's starting to sound a lil' hollow.

    I DO thankyou for your concern, though.

    And I'm back!

    But just realised I have to run-run-run to swims and busking.


    I hope youse is good-good and I look fwd to hear yr stories.

    Peace, Brothers. :)
    40New30 and A New Man like this.
  9. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Still busy-busy with the life I have reclaimed (in no small part thanks to you all and the work we've done) but I wanted to share this interesting talk that I found enlightening.

    For ages I've been using daily but mostly just in moderation, at the end of the day when all is done, knowing that eventually I will want to drop it completely. Occasionally I would, of course, notice myself going there to avoid feeling overwhelmed (or some other uncomfortable thoughts or emotions) but more often than not was able to pull back so's not to get caught in that trap.

    The main reason I'm back now (as opposed to earlier) is that I've gone off it all of a sudden. Not that I wouldn't get a kick out of it, I suppose, but just that I cognisant of it's.... pointlessness. Funnily enough, the reason I feel this way is that I've been internet 'dating' (no dates yet) but interacting with real women had reminded me that pmo is NOT real, that it gives me nothing of what I really... would like to experience: intimacy, connection, etc.

    Enjoy this!

    She says some beautiful things about men, near the end. :)

    Peace to you, Brothers.

    40New30, Deleted User and Saville like this.
  10. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    Love this sentence,that's what removing porn from our life
    and replacing it with other things does, it makes us busy but in a good way.
    There is nothing like real women, even ones in a queue at the supermarket to make you realise how unreal and pathetic porn is.
    Saville likes this.
  11. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I listened to that podcast not long ago myself. Yeah, it's a good one and nice to see that not every woman being given a voice today wants to tear men down.

    Glad to you have you back!
  12. Mad Dog

    Mad Dog Well-Known Member

    Billy glad to see you:p
  13. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Hey, thanks guys for the warm welcome back!


    I’ve been workin’ online promo stuff this eve. Won’t be live in the next few days but it’s comin’ together. Got promo shots done (my beautiful artist friend helped me out), some copy for the website. Ideas.

    I just need to learn how to play properly, now!


    Anyhow, brief update b4 I check on youse:

    Still clean: 6 days, Yahoo and phew!


    Tinder is shit! :confused:

    While at the same time faaaasthincating (from an anthropological viewpoint).


    Lil’ bit sad out there…


    but what y’gonna do?

    I’ll extricate myself once I’ve done with the three I’m chattin’ to, me thinks.


    Besides, once I start giggin’ I’ll be fightin’ ‘em off with a stick!


    The ol’ ones, anyway. :eek:

    And the crazy ones!


    Peace till soon, mates. :)Xx
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  14. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Thanks, maaaate. Made me smile, big time. :)

    Is that... recorded way back when?

    Or just... clever!?
  15. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Glad to see you back, after my recent fuck up (after 2 years clean -- doh!), I plan on contributing more. Once an addict... :)
    Billy B. likes this.
  16. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Yeah, man. Swings and roundabouts!

    Tanx fr droppin' by.

    I been too busy for here. Had a date!

    Easy Peasy. :rolleyes:

    Got another one next week!

    She's a bit kinky. :p

    Sex-positive is how she framed it. ;)

    She's cool. She's funny, switched on.

    Has a pulse! :D

    We dun-even know if we're into the same kinks yet!

    Cause, well... we touched on that in the beginning ('for realising we're getting ahead of our selves!) and since... about a week we've been sending short emails. Had 'chat' last night. Dangerous, because of the misconstruations* inherent in the medium, of course, but crackin' jokes, getting to know someone!? It's not ideal. o_O

    We had fun but, a few laughs. Learned a lil' more about each other. :)

    So I said fuck this, 'carn, lets just tee up an eyeball and get it over with, ay?

    I'm garn in blind, ye see.


    Funny story. Got to the point where she reckons "get on kik(app) and you can see pics of me..." and I'm like "Nah, rather just meet up if ya don't mind"

    She thinks that 'looks' don't factor in for her.

    At all.


    That bode's well...

    ...not! :D

    I said "Listen, appearance does factor in for me (I shoulda said: I'm a bloke: appearance not just a little bit!) but if all we're doin' is... meeting, a drink, conversation it dun't matter what you look like. In the end it's going to be as much about all kindsa verbal and non-verbal communication (timbre, stature... pheromones! and on and on).

    Maybe she'll tell me some kinky sex stories! :p

    Anyhow, it's nice to be back in the mix (despite that Tinder can just about piss off completely!)

    The promo stuff or me musical projects is... slowly but surely. :)

    S'gonna be so great to be performing again.

    Still have some money to spend to get geared up, but slowly-slowly.

    It's in no small part thanks to you mob, I've got up and goin'. Sure, I slipped and stayed slupped*, but for most of that it was quite minimal usage (if daily), never quite sinking so low like it was before.

    And now clean again what... 12days!

    Time flies. :)

    Lil' bit triggered somehow, atm...

    Come 'ere instead. :)

    Can't sleep, something (it's 4am).


    Is okay, I'm doin' pretty good usuually, lately.

    I was at a bar and this goooorgeous woman (who turned out to be a lil' ugly!) kinda... I dunno what she was on about, just... tried to make me feel small or somethin', I dunno, but...

    Water off a ducks back! :D

    I couldn't not almost believe how... it didn't stir me, not a bit! A few years back and the monkey woulda arced right up, then it'd a bin aaaaall about how shit I am, and clumsy and stupid and blah, blah, blah.

    My mate was like "Did you tell her to fuck right off!?"

    Me: "Nah, she's prolly just havin' a bad day or somethin'. Whatever, s'not my problem. S'not like... it matters."

    He was incensed (my mate, gawd bless 'im!) an I appreciate he was incensed because he cares about me, n'at (the sweetheart). He was not entirely wrong either, when he said she was 'old enough to know better'.

    But then I'm like... you know what, everyone is just tryin' their best with the hand they've been dealt, we've all fucked up (and will again) and... even if that weren't true, there's no logic in me holding on to any of that... 'energy' or whatever. Someone once said somethin' about "swallowing poison to spite another person". S'bit fuckin' silly, if y'ask me. I mean.... I'm not always gonna roll with shit like that so... loosely, but when I can, why wouldn't I?

    Blah, blah, blah.:)

    I dunno if you'll be able to watch this without an Aussie isp (or a tricky vpn), but give it a go.

    It's funny. Short. About ten mins in it has somethings to say about fenimism (@Saville ! ; ).

    Last edited: May 14, 2018
    40New30, Rapha and A New Man like this.
  17. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Soz once again for duckin' out, fellas.

    My ol' dear passed on a week back. She was 94 and had a poor quality of life the last 5-10 years: now she is at rest.

    I'm okay. Thankfully almost everything else is going well in my life atm, so that helps. There's a lot of love and support and connection and acceptance going about. My siblings have been amazing (despite our having had differences, ain't none of us a drama queen). Love, respect, patience and an intention to understand (rather than to be understood) - St Francis of Assisi, beautiful. Gawd I am some straaaange kind of atheist!

    (Lord), make me an instrument of your peace:
    where there is hatred, let me sow love;
    where there is injury, pardon;
    where there is doubt, faith;

    (I would say "where there doubt, wonder")
    But I'm no St Francis! :rolleyes:

    where there is despair, hope;
    where there is darkness, light;
    where there is sadness, joy.

    O divine (Master),
    grant that I may not so much seek
    to be consoled,
    as to console,
    to be understood, as to understand,
    to be loved, as to love.

    For it is in giving that we receive,
    it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
    and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.


    My Mum (gawd bless 'er) would be stoked if she knew we'd bagged this for the back of the Memorial Bookmark.

    Not sure about the copyright issues!

    On PMO.

    I'm using again, after about about a fortnight clean. In moderation, so I'm not too stressed. Be nice to get off it again before my (two!) dates next week (hows that for timing?) I think I'll be okay for 'em though. These women seem sensitive to the situation I'm in. And it's just meeting up for to maybe make some new friendships and see... maybe it'll lead somewhere, maybe not. It aaaaall good.

    Big loves to youse!

    I'll come back soon.

    Hugs! :) Xx
  18. Rapha

    Rapha Active Member

    Sorry for your loss Billy. Still, 94....that's not a bad innings.

    Put the PMO behind you and focus on these dates instead.
  19. Mad Dog

    Mad Dog Well-Known Member

    My regrets. 94 or 1004 no difference. Never a good time. Keep truck n Billy. Again my condolonces
  20. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I think wonder is beautiful, too. :) I like faith, though, because though we may doubt we will be free of whatever holds us, if we have faith, we can pull through. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. There's no love like a mother's love. Even though a mom can be cray cray, she still will hold a piece of your heart that no other person can. Big hugs!

    Almost any material that is around 50 years after the person's death become public domain, unless of course the family or a trust hold the copyright. In the case of Francis you have no such worry. :)

    Keep coming back, Billy. The place is made better by your presence.

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