Yeah, it was okay, ta. Just... it was my first solo one so it was really about just trying things out. I learned a lot! And, I dunno if it made it easier or not but my role was to provide background music rather than an engaging performance. In some ways that took pressure off and I could just concentrate on the music. I look fwd to more.
Hey! Thank youse for the well wishes, guys. I'm doin' okay. Lil' bit of a flat spot after xmas as mentioned above but I seem to've come good again (always the way: up and down). I've finally had a lil' clean streak (3 days, but you gotta start somewhere's, right?). Funnily enough, when I stepped off on to my 300+ I had continued to use pot and that didn't, at the time, seem to make things any harder. But I stepped back from the pot again Monday (I'd been back to daily use for a month or so) and the pmo just seemed to follow almost naturally. First time I was really triggered was just now: it's Friday night and, although I'd promised myself I would make some fun plans for the weekend, I didn't. So I feel a bit lonely.... Hmmmm, that's made me think of NYE where I felt a bit lonely until I realised that I'm not actually alone (I've got folk who love and care for me) it was just that I hadn't made any plans. So that's good. Tonight I'll try to grove on the same logic and just be kind to myself (for a start, by not pmo-ing!). I hope. It's tough when yr only three days clean... but I'm gonna do my best. I look fwd to catch up on some of your stories. Peace dudes.
Hey Billy! Happy New Year dude! Being kind to yourself by not PMOing is one thing, what about being kind to yourself by doing something you've always wanted to do but never got around to?! What new experiences do you want to have in 2018? I felt really lonely on NYE too, just ended up watching Ghostbusters II. Reliving my childhood, which is fast becoming a distant memory!
Hey Billy B. I hope all is well. Come back whenerver you are ready to, no matter which number your Counter Shows.
Oh, fellas. Thanks so much for the chase-me-up. I have been using (obviously) but up until recently at levels, at least, that haven't been too damaging. For most of us, obviously and unfortunately, this will only get us so far before we notice ourselves using more and getting deeper into the more unhealthy aspects of addiction. Lately I've been watching myself get deeper in and so now is the time to step up and try again to get clean. I have been fairly productive however, in the area of 'creating the life I wish to live': nesting, getting the music together, meditation/mindfulness, professional help with mental and emotional issues etc, etc, mainly only slowed down by my daily pot habit. Which is still need to address as a priority almost as important as the pmo. (and for sure addressing the former will go along way to help with the latter). I really just thought I should touch in (I have missed you guys!) but now I'm thinkin' a daily entry would most likely be helpful. I'm flat today (you can prolly tell) but in general my mental health has been better. I'm practicing sitting with and excepting uncomfortable feelings which is arguably the path to healing from addiction and neurosis. Getting better at making healthy and productive choices regardless of inner-resistance to doing so. I send posi-vibes to you and will endeavour to be more interactive as we trundle along. Peace n'at. Till soon.
