Taking to long to recognize the problem

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by Louis94$, Nov 20, 2017.

  1. Louis94$

    Louis94$ New Member

    So i am 23 turning 24 in January and probably from the age 13 is when i started watching porn. I would have never thought it would cause some of the issues i experienced. I didn’t have my first sexual well (almost sex ) experience until 20 i met an older woman online (40s) and i figured wow my lucky day. We got a room and basically i would get hard when she sucked it but as soon as tried to enter her bam gone. Very embarrassing she didn’t seem mad she just finished it with her mouth and that was the end of that. So i said to myself oh i was just nervous and she wasn’t that attractive no problem next time i have sex I’ll be good. Fast forward to thanksgiving -Christmas season of 2016 i met a girl took her out, kissed her on the first date etc etc everything was going great we went on a few dates and then eventually she wanted to come over and “watch Netflix”. She was a beautiful girl we teased each other for a bit got to it and what do you know when was time to do the deed we flopped. Embarrassing i really liked her and i didn’t want her to think i wasn’t attracted to her we tried for awhile . I knew this was gonna change everything but we tried again the next few days and eventually she couldn’t do it and we went our ways i don’t blame her. But after that experience my confidence, self esteem and even desire to get to know or let another woman in has disappeared and it’s sad and I’m done with the negativity. I couldn’t sleep so i figured i share, any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated, especially with sharing what you’re going through with a partner .
     
  2. hopeforchange

    hopeforchange Member

    Just meet girls anyway. I was trying to method of staying away from porn and mo for 3 months and then try to get a girl. I always relapsed before never got anywhere during 3-4 years... then last year I said fuck it I'm meeting girls anyway. The first time I was with a girl I never got an erection. I always just told them that it happend before when I'm with a new girl. Just don't act awkward. (it always will be a bit, but just learn how to handle it...). To my surprise all those girls still wanted to see me after and even more to my surprise was the second time I could get hard and everytime I met them again it became easier... Over the last year I stayed away from porn in streaks of 1- 3 months. This is also key ofcourse. I sometimes used viagra as a confidence boost. But I had first date ED when I was 3 months of porn and 2 viagra's in my system but also had succesful sex after binging for a week on porn with a girl I was seeing for a longer time without taking any viagra. So it's not that black and white. A lot is mentally as well. Not saying PIED isn't real ofcourse. It definitely is, I feel the difference when I try to have sex with a girlfriend just after a relapse compared to a long time of abstinance. My erection quality is much less

    so my point being, just go for girls anyway, if you handle it cool most girls will be cool about it as well. Explain it's not them and it has happend before with new girls, it's no big deal. And ofcourse get rid of your porn addiction. But having a girl to have sex with will make this easier as well. Good luck!
     
  3. Louis94$

    Louis94$ New Member

    Thanks it just really killed my confidence i tried explaining to her but she thought i was gay maybe i wasn’t attracted to her but who knows. The thing is girls have so many options these days they don’t have to put up with it they could move on easily and not try to understand
     
  4. hopeforchange

    hopeforchange Member

    Well it's their right to choose someone else. Just keep meeting girls. And if she thinks your gay, just tell em you don't why it happens it's just mentally( I never say it's porn) but you definitely know for sure your not gay. with a grin on your face. And emphasize it's not her, she's hot, your just up in your head when you're with a new girl. It happend before and it should pass.

    I know it's difficult. It's like falling on your own sword. Hooking up knowing you're going to have ED. But now I'm so glad I did it, had many failures but because of this also succes. Without just going for it an failing I would still be a virgin.
     

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