Day 2(evening): Good day today. Managed to stay away from internet for long periods. Productivity was good. No urges as of now.
Day 3(evening): Another good day. You know what staying away from internet helps a lot. You begin to feel life so much more. It seems like I have a lot of time for things. I can study. Read some interesting books. Listen to music. Or even just sit down and think about things. This feels great.
Yeah man it's been a long time. I haven't been too frequent on this forum either for about a year. But yeah it feels great that even after so many years of ups and downs we're pursuing this struggle to get better.
Day 4 (evening): A much better sunday. The weather here has gotten uncomfortably hot which is a bit of a downer because otherwise I am in a good mental space. Trying to regulate internet use is showing positive effects already and I would look to get more vigilant about it.
Dude Everytime is break my high streaks i see you inbetween 1-7 days --_--. Lets see who streak much now again i challenge you. Maybe this time you will got more than a week,
Day 5(evening): Another good day. Feels great to not be numbed by uncontrolled stimulation that internet provides.
Day 9 (i think): Good days these. I feel so much more in control now. It just feels great and that's just after 9 days. Anyway I can see the habit of unrestrained internet use creeping back. I need to be mindful of this and get back to being disciplined once again. Also I need to settle with some definitive morning exercise routine. Other than that it's smooth going.
Relapsed day before yesterday. MO'd again yesterday morning. Back on track today though my mood is a bit off. May be the effect of relapse or could be just random. Anyway I understand well that abstaining from pmo helps a lot with my mood, control over life and productivity. Looking forward to getting into that mode once again.
Hugs. Get back on track, but the chaser effect is going to be hard to persevere through. Do you have a plan in place to combat the struggle?
So writing here after a long time. Last time too I thought I would be here more consistently but gave up after a relapse. Bad thinking. Anyway, To summarize last one month, it's been a story of relapsing every third day or so. Some relapses were really bad. Others not so much. But progress have stayed stagnant. For coming few months I have a lot of time by myself. During this period I intend to focus more on my health and body. I would need to adopt some discipline for that. Relapse does take me back quite a bit. Most importantly it affects my motivation to do something productive. I know the triggers well. Internet as a whole is a huge trigger. I need to restrict the time I use it. This forum is always a good place. Reading a few posts here really changes the line of thinking in healthy ways. I must to be here more often.
If you need it the forum's always here as a resource! I find myself too sometimes needing a soft cushion to fall back on until I find my footing. Sorry to hear about the tough month. Do you have any major stressors that are weighing on your mind right now? I find that's the main reason that leads me to pmo.
More than any stressors, I think I have stayed in my comfort zone for some time now. There's a definite pattern in the way I relapse. It doesn't surprise me. In a way, subconsciously, I have accepted that pattern. As I said, I realpse every 2-3 days anyway stressor or no stressor. I haven't done enough to break this pattern. This is what I need to change. I must get out of the comfort zone and start being conscious of what I am trying to achieve.
Commit to consciousness then. Commit to the decision and go full everything you have behind it. Get set on doing what.ever. it takes to break free. Whether that be exercise to deal with energy, hobby to occupy your time and free creative energy, or talking to girls and getting laid to fill the romatic sexual need in you. Put all you have behind what you want to do, because honestly what do you have to lose. Comfort? You have to choose whether you want comfort, or what your ideal life is. And then live with whatever sacrifices that choice comes with. If it's comfort that's fine, but then you don't have a right to be upset at pmo-ing every 2-3 days, because you chose that life. If otherwise you choose the other option, then understand you have no right to watch p ever again. Not in moments of strength, not in moments of weakness, not in moments of boredom, not in moments of chaser effect, not any time, ever again in your life. You need to make this decision, and accept whatever path you go on, understanding that if you don't decide to make a choice you've already decided.
Last few day have been full of ups and downs. I am having good and bad days almost alternately. This means I haven't been able to stay away from pmo for long time at a stretch. Staying away from pmo helps a lot with my mood , productivity and everything else that matters. I see it as clear as the day. Internet addiction is taking a toll as well. More than anything, I need a bit of discipline and self restraint to creep in.
