Successful Sex

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Klassicjammer, Mar 6, 2016.

  1. Klassicjammer

    Klassicjammer New Member

    Guys I've had successful sex quite a few times now in the past month on the weekends. I have a former post in here I have not kept up with over a year ago and I was not successful in my goal to stop porn and to a greater degree masturbation, however, I have always kept fighting my urges and they may finally be paying off. All my history is on that post and is lengthy but it may help someone.

    I have met an older woman playing a show at a country nightclub a month ago. I knew she was a little bit older but it turns out she's 38 with 2 kids and I'm 26. Like many of you I'm sure, older women are a turn on, and its probably because of porn. Dating an older woman 12 years older than me with 2 kids is not the most practical and this probably will not be a long-term thing but it has been fun thus far. I asked her to dance after the show and we did, talked, and then eventually started to make out. We went outside and made out some more and I got her number. We continued to text throughout the week and she came out to see us play in a town near her. We had good chemistry and I went with her to her place after waffle house. We kissed and made out and fondled each other till she climbed on top of me and started to ride me. I was cautious because I suffer from PE and also PIED but yet I was halfway hard at the least. Well I didn't last but a minute and I tried to get her off of me but I guess she resisted and I blasted inside her...
    She later reveals she has an IUD and that its perfectly fine as its only been 3 years. I'm not recommending this to anyone so please be careful.
    So I had just had successful sex, although maybe at 60% erection. My sensitivity on my penis is not like I wanted it to be because I am used to a tight grip and her pussy (in my limited experience) is somewhat looser than what I have lucked up with before. I am aware the sensitivity could be due to a weak erection BUT we have met a couple weekends after and had sex multiple times. One night in particular at her house I did pretty well with I'd wager a 90% erection! Oddly enough that instance in particular I would do well but almost blast several times. This is probably due to PE and limited experience. I would pull out and re-enter multiple times until finally I could not cum and my erection and sensitivity both diminished. It was very frustrating as I actually did not get off.
    Her having an IUD is helping me to not worry about my PE and I'm getting some practice in. I have tried pretty successfully not to masturbate during this time I am seeing her all except 4 days ago where I did succumb to porn with older women. I did find myself focusing less on the visuals and more on the sounds and what the woman is feeling in the video, but still it was bad that I watched it and I feel like it set me back with my sexual vigor and libido.

    I haven't had GREAT erections half the time we have had sex, and I cum kind of faster than I like too. I've never lasted longer than probably 7 minutes. The last couple times we had sex yesterday and friday night I finished in her and then we used a toy she had that really got her off both times we used it. It did turn me on, but I can't help but feel like I am not getting turned on enough still. I'm 26 and should be having rock hard erections and having pretty good sex and recharging after 30 minutes everytime but its just not happening for me right now.

    A tactic I did use was rubbing the head of my penis on her clitoris and pussy to kind of tease her and myself as well. My dick would get hard to this which I think is great. I know if I was normal, just looking at a naked woman in my bed should turn me on without stimulation so I still have to progress to that which I think means not even touching my penis unless it is to pee or clean. Her touch and the mental stimulation is the most important factor in me being hard, and it does make me hard semi-consistently, but I still take a while to recharge my libido.

    So guys I am not fully healed...but I am seeing the fruits of fighting this addiction even if I've made it a very long fight by not simply abstaining from masturbation and porn in "hard mode" as people call it. I for some reason struggle to not masturbate once and a while but I have done well this month besides that one hiccup.

    Being with this woman is helping me rewire as well, but I know I probably need to just abstain hard mode for a month or two to get that 100% erection. I still believe this to be a success and I will update my situation next time I get on. I am hoping this post will help someone out there. Keep fighting the good fight everyone.
  2. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    abstaining wont necessarily be the key to proper erections.

    check out my thread in my signature about pelvic floor conditioning. i also think sex with a real women should be much more beneficial than abstaining.
  3. Dec

    Dec Member

    Thanks for this post. I find it very interesting and can see a lot of similarities with my experience. I met up at a social group where I met a 41 year old, (I'm 25) who also lied about her age.

    I don't suffer as much with weak erections but maybe have the worst case of ED on this forum. Lasted about 10 seconds with this woman. Similar to what you were saying, it's refreshing being with an older woman. They seem to care more about the sex and it's nice not having the pressure of starting a long term relationship. I just wish that I could have sex with this woman for 15-20 minutes. I'm not masturbating or watching porn, but wonder if I should just masturbate the night before I have sex. Does anyone have any ideas? I'm desperate to last longer in bed but don't want to give up the nopmo
  4. dontgiveup

    dontgiveup Member

    Just to make sure, you have ED or PE?
  5. Dec

    Dec Member

    Ah sorry meant PE
  6. dontgiveup

    dontgiveup Member

    I remember one time when I masturbated 1 hour before sex, the first round I didn't last long but in the second round I was like a sex machine. Maybe it can help you if you are not having erection problems.

    Another tip is taking deep breaths and using positions that make you last longer.
  7. Klassicjammer

    Klassicjammer New Member

    Im not an expert so I can't really tell you if masturbating the night before is going to help you, but I think it entirely depends where you are in your personal journey. You probably already know if it will help you. When you jack off can you recover in a day? Is your whole day tiring after jacking off in the morning? Do you get brain fog?
    If you have brain fog after jacking off I would definitely say your not ready, and brain fog is one of the things you have to tell your self is "unacceptable" and quit jacking off till you don't have a problem with brain fog. Think about how it makes you feel after masturbating and muse about it. Do I want to keep feeling like this everyday? I feel awful, why do I keep doing this to myself?
    You got to get sick of it and utterly despise the way you feel and channel that energy to make you quit till your ready to return to non-pornagraphic masturbation. Porn is 100% bad for us, especially the way we have wired our brains and it will only benefit us to quit watching it every time we feel the need to orgasm.
    Cutting out masturbation I think is helpful too, but I have not 100% been successful with that outside of 2 months (which I think mostly helped). I do think rewiring with a living breathing woman is the most helpful thing we can do though, and I do not condone seeing multiple women as I think the intimacy between a true partner is what will be the most helpful (and less embarrassing) to us.
    And lastly, remember that you will fail eventually sometimes and watch porn, but let it be fewer and far between when you do fail. There is no excuse not to improve when our lives feel ruined or when you can see your getting better.
    Cheers my friends. Keep fighting the good fight.
  8. Klassicjammer

    Klassicjammer New Member

    Update guys, it’s been a long time. I’m 30 now, will turn 31 in February. A few life changes have happened. I moved out of my parents house and lived with my cousin for 6 months, had about a 1.5 month relationship if you call it that with a girl, then moved to the city of Raleigh to be closer to work. Met a Hispanic girl on tinder around Christmas and really was growing fond of this girl. We only had a relationship for 3 months officially and she wound up crazy...which sucks cause I liked her a lot but she had other issues in her life I’ll save you from for now. Honestly it’s a reminder that there are more problems than porn or PIED, not to downplay our issues we write about here. Since then I have been on my own for almost 9 months.
    Just wanted to reiterate that none of you guys should watch porn!!!! It’s only going to bring you down!!! Look at my earlier posts. You don’t want to feel bad all day and all the time. Think about how it makes you feel with the brain fog and looking tired all the time with the bags in your eyes. Please stop guys. You have to do this for yourself. No one cares about you more than you do, so you have to do yourself a favor and quit this addiction!
    Just to tell you guys, those 2 girls I have been with short relationships with I had successful sex several times. The first one was only a month but I was having good sex with her. Being in a relationship seems to help me focus my sexual energy easier on something else besides masturbation and porn, so I would focus more on these women.
    I could last about 10 minutes with this girl at least, because I wasn’t watching porn or masturbating or at least masturbating much. My priorities shifted when I was talking to her. She had an IUD like the older woman I was writing about originally so it really helped with my PE and not having to wear a condom.
    Then the Hispanic girl I was writing ya’ll about, I really was getting to like her but as I said, she had some other issues mostly related to family and past traumas and she had lots of traffic violations. She played some games but was extremely jealous and I honestly think she liked attention. She was 23 and I’m 30 so it’s not the most surprising thing. But anyways...
    When we finally had sex for the first time I maybe lasted 3 minutes. It had been a while and I had been watching some porn and masturbating some. I’m telling you guys don’t do it to yourself.
    Anyways, she wasn’t on birth control or IUD and I was worried my pre-cum could get her pregnant, so we got the plan B pill and then she got on birth control AFTER one more time of us having sex I think the following week.
    I think I had masturbated (maybe to porn) that week but can’t remember, and when we were doing it I had lost my erection somewhat. I got her to perform oral sex while I sat down in a chair. This lasted maybe 2 minutes max and it was clear that I was having trouble getting a hard erection back. This clearly was bothering her and she got up and started to pack her things. She was going to LEAVE. I was scared and didn’t know what to do. I kept asking her to stay and let me explain. I live with my sister too and I didn’t want my sister to see her storm out and wonder why. She had all her things in her hands and was literally taking her first step towards my door and I stopped her and put my arms around her and said quietly in her ear that I had “something to tell her”. She allowed me to talk and (probably thinking I was going to tell her I was gay or something) I told her I struggled with porn addiction and that it bothers me and affects me. I also told her that I am extremely attracted to you and that it has nothing to do with you.
    She actually put her stuff down and started to listen to me and I told her about everything and how it’s affected me in the past and most importantly that it can and will get better with me as long as I do my part to stop. She gave us another chance. I told her if I didn’t do it for a week and a half at least (it was the weekend) that I would be able to have better sex. So she let me have the opportunity. I did’t watch any porn or masturbate for that week and the week after and sex was a LOT better, specifically my erection quality. She also got on birth control so we had to wait another week for that to kick in. And it was so so worth it to me because once again I didn’t have to worry about PE.
    So the lesson is if you are just starting a relationship and something like this happens to you and she’s upset, you GOT to tell her what’s going on. My girlfriend thought I wasn’t attracted to her which was FAR from the truth. They need to understand too, no matter how scary it is to tell her. It actually helps you too if she accepts, cause then you have an accountability partner. Can help you get closer too.
    Our sex got better and better during those 3 months and I was able to get her off a few times and I remember one time while I was doing her that I was even impressing myself how good I was doing and not busting. That was a good feeling.
    Like I said earlier we didn’t last more because of her than anything. We could only see each other once or maybe twice a week because we were about an hour from each other. She lived with her mom and brother so she could only come over to me if we wanted to be intimate. I think that made the relationship that much harder on top of the other things I told you about. One of the last times we had sex I busted a little earlier than I wanted because I had masturbated during the week. I don’t think it was too porn but I honestly can’t remember. And what do you know? It affected my performance. So guys please don’t do it.
    I hope my experiences can help you.
    Quit jacking off and try to pursue a woman enough to date her and eventually get intimate. While doing this please don’t jack off at all and relish in the fact that you are able to focus your sexual energy on her and away from you.

    Now that I’m single for 9 months and haven’t had sex since I’ve been masturbating a lot and once and a while I have sprinkled in pornography which is a big NO. My penis has dry dead skin on it as I type from jacking off the past couple days. I need to lube it if I do.
    The best chance to not do it is to not have temptation around you and to resist it. And to remember what I said earlier in this post, about hating how it makes you feel. I might plug my phone charger into the wall away from my bed.

    My struggling lately brought me back to this forum. Hope my advice and story can help you and I’m going to try to stop again.
    I do want to say that if you believe in God that you should ask him for spiritual strength and if you truly mean it he will give it to you. Cause this is more than a physical battle. I had asked him for that at church in front of the pastor and they prayed over me and I felt great and strong for a week or two at least, but I slipped again because it’s a constant battle and you can never give up.
    When I finish typing I’m going to pray again for Jesus to grant me spiritual strength and forgiveness and I’m also going to pray for all you guys on here struggling too because we all need all the help we can get.
    My mom had told me a month or two ago that she had a dream that there was a snake in my bed...and I have adopted the belief that God speaks to people through dreams. According to Dr. Jordan Peterson (ya’ll should look him up on YouTube, he’s a psychotherapist and a modern day Aristotle/Plato-like philosopher) this is how the ancient people communicated with God. So if I am to believe this, God is telling my mom that something is wrong in my life and where I sleep.
    It’s PORN and TEMPTATION ya’ll! God is actually telling my mom that’s something is wrong. So I’m going to pray for y’all and also pray and command that the devil and temptation and the sin represented by that snake LEAVE my bed room and apartment RIGHT NOW.

    Peace be with you guys and I’ll be back on.
    Doper likes this.
  9. Squirtle

    Squirtle Member

    Yo bro so how long in total in the beginning did it take u to overcome pied? I’ve been rebooting for over a year and have been in the flatline for like 13 months. Sucks so much
  10. Klassicjammer

    Klassicjammer New Member

    I’m on my phone and pretty tired but the short answer is I don’t regularly watch porn anymore and haven’t for some time. My real problem is I’m addicted to MO’ing while I casually look at dating profiles, and it’s becoming my main problem now. I sadly struggle being on dating sites too long before I want to play with my ding dong and I sometimes start fantasizing about the girls I’m looking at but also I go back to the times I had real sex with real partners and I jack off to that. Sometimes I’ll get the itch to go back and look at a couple of (my favorite...) porn videos and sometimes I succumb to it.
    I have to quit masturbating too because I’m getting wore out, it’s like I have to have it before I go to bed and it just wears me out the next day. I need to recharge.

    I’m confident if I have a real partner and abstained for at least 2 weeks without masturbating that I’d reasonably be able to have fulfilling sex (especially without a condom), which goes back to your original question.

    Because I’m not really addicted to porn I believe my time for recovery is much shorter now than someone who is trying to recover from porn.
    But more than anything I think you need to pursue a woman and rewire towards a woman again, cause nothing else will help you more now. If you’ve gone 13 months then it’s more than time for you to try and see somebody and develop those endorphins and dopamine towards a real woman because that’s going to kick you back into gear man. Nothing else will heal you faster.

    I have another success story post on here somewhere from a while back (years) that highlights more of my past that can also better help you understand my journey.
  11. Klassicjammer

    Klassicjammer New Member

    Look up all my posts on “Klassicjammer” to get a better idea where I come from.
  12. Klassicjammer

    Klassicjammer New Member

    Hey guys, been a while. I’m starting a journal. I’ve been having issues again with self-esteem and all that. Went a week without MO’ing almost last week but then MO’d for about 3-4 days. I only MO once but it’s enough for me to be tired the rest of the day. I wound up watching porn 2 nights ago for the first time in a month and MO’d in the morning again. Now it’s been a day and I’m determined to not MO again. Im f’ing 32 I have to get a grip on this.

    Those 6 days without MO I felt pretty good but my dick was limp and lifeless. It’s like I’m always stuck in flatline, and even with masturbation my erection isn’t great. Got some blood work done and my doctor said my levels are fine except for my vitamin D (because I don’t go out of the house much honestly) so maybe that prescription will help me feel a little better. I wanted to test my Testosterone levels to make sure they are normal to rule out other causes but there was a chance my health insurance wouldn’t cover it making it over $500 so I abstained this time. I plan to work out 3-4 times a week with cardio emphasis.

    My goal is to have normal erections again and be able to recover the parts of my mind where I lost touch with how to be intimate with a partner. With my girlfriend in the post above 2 years ago, I was focusing too much on positions and my performance instead of truly enjoying the moment. The few times I was present mentally and emotionally I performed the best physically too and had very memorably sex. Time has shown me that although she had some problems I definitely did too. Not being able to get it up for her or be able to have solid erections has to have made her doubt my attraction to her and I have cried about it and told God and the cosmos I was sorry for letting her go.
    Bilbo Swaggins likes this.
  13. Klassicjammer

    Klassicjammer New Member

    I masturbated today. It’s always the weekends. It’s because I don’t really have a social life. I’m 32 since groundhogs day and pretty much all my friends are either married, engaged, or have a kid or two or a combination of them all. It’s crazy cause I don’t really crave porn but on days like today with no plans it’s hard not to masturbate and play video games. I mostly masturbate to two things, dating sites and fantasy. I feel my brain needs to heal from the years of masturbating when I was sad or stressed, especially to porn. But like I said, porn isn’t really a huge issue for me. It’s masturbating instead of doing other things. Maybe I should go by myself to the bar. I never imagined myself being that guy but here I am. I’m a good guy, I’m not crazy or insane. I am kind of boring though. I live in a small town in the south eastern part of the US. My job is very average, and in making less than $50,000 a year. I want women to like me and find me attractive. I’ve sent my resume to a brother of a friend who is supposed to forward it and hopefully a interview and good news will follow cause my job and salary definitely influences my lower self esteem. I always feel like if I just had a better job and salary I’d be happier with myself. The job I have now is mostly customer service and processing data in a office with high amounts of customers. I don’t feel challenged and really want more. Things are getting more expensive here too, particularly houses like everywhere apparently. I have to do better. I have to control my out of control sexual behavior which is now the need or desire to masturbate whenever I am bored or down in my thoughts.
    Also, an interesting development did happen Friday after work. I went to the doctor and I actually opened up to the doctor about having erectile dysfunction. It was very hard for me to open up about this and I got emotional and had tears. I hate being an adult and having these issues. I went primarily to get surgery on my hemmroids (I know it’s spelled wrong lol) but also wanted to test my testosterone levels to make sure I didn’t have other problems. Well there was good and bad news. Bad news was the lab tech said my health insurance may not cover the blood tests for testosterone and hgh and all which would mean I’d have to spend over $500. So instead of doing that I just opted for the regular blood test which was free. The possible good news though is that I got the call Friday from the nurse and said that my vitamin D levels were low and that I have been prescribed a vitamin d supplement. I plan to pick it up tomorrow after church sometime and hopefully this will help! I’ve seen in YouTube and online that vitamin D deficiencies can cause different symptoms which actually does include erectile dysfunction and depression, both of which I think I have. I don’t feel very motivated to call friends or try to do social groups and meetups, ESPECIALLY after masturbating…lol. Maybe possibly HOPEFULLY these supplements will help me improve my overall mood. I’ve also started working out again this week doing insanity videos from beach body. Did 3 days this week and it’s high intensity cardio for the most part which I think will help with erectile dysfunction. I think vitamin D deficiency is definitely a symptom though and not the absolute cause of my borderline depression, but maybe with a supplement I can get a much needed boost to do more social things. Cause right now I’m not really living. I’m just alive. I just don’t feel like I have much motivation to do more which sucks! I hate feeling like this. And I don’t want to masturbate to mask my true problems…I feel shameful just writing about it. I know I should talk to a therapist and maybe one day I will. I still halfway believe I opened up to the doctor today. It felt okay to talk about, not euphoric but okay as in ok to let out. I don’t want to say good to let out because nothing has really changed, but it maybe felt good to let out some. Probably would mean more talking to someone who I’d see semi regularly who I’d have more time with.
    I know I’m rambling at this point. I’ll be back on tomorrow, or at least I’ll try. I must stop masturbating.

    Oh yeah, definitely recommend anyone else to do a blood test just to see if there are any deficiencies in their blood and vitamins and minerals too. I wonder if I had not mentioned my ED if they would have said anything about my deficiency. They probably would have. Idk why I think that, but I’m glad they saw that. Hopeful the supplement will boost my mood.

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