Struggling for time (200+ days of no PMO)

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by VeniVidiVici, Dec 4, 2012.

  1. 90days

    90days New Member

    You can never fit in a description 100%. That's pretty normal.

    However, let me doubt about your lack of self-hate. In most people this is deeply buried. Even if you have caring parents that helped you and loved you, you had a wonderful life, and so on, in a certain way you will despite yourself. You can, of course, not even be aware of it. In fact, very few people enter in a full self-destructive part. Most remain on the low self-esteem mood. About the girlfriend part, i guessed you are a part of the "overwhelming feelings guys", which i'm a part too : you always though that in a certain point you will meet and girl and be happily ever after (and lot of sex too?). Am i wrong? Actually, reading back you diary it seems you're really in that part of the HIQ. I think you try to rationalise all your feelings to make them fit in a nice clear box and refuse to take them as they are. Some objections?

    About the endocrine system, i think you're just fucked up as every HIQ. I've talked to a ex-president of my European Country Mensa last night, and he told me that he thinks the should drink huge amount of water and stay over-fit (which generally HIQ are not) . The point of drinking is water is about cleaning kidneys and liver . But anyway ,as he told me, pay attention, you HAVE to drink either source tapped water (not shit like aquasana ) or heavily filtered in the good way (not boiled, nor reverse osmose and all the shit), because in fact we have a overdeveloped limbic and endocrine system (he is a biologist), and we need to protect it from pesticides, synthesized hormones detritus and anything possible . He also taught me that we should be always at 100% of DRI of vitamines and minerals as much as possible (avoid dietary supplements as much as possible).

    Anyway, he used a sentence that deeply touched me - this is a rather gross translation : " Guess what : you have a singular problem,you overlive everything you do. Now, you have only to embrace and accept it, and life this life, because this is your life."
     
  2. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    About the finding a girlfriend part and living happily ever after. That really sounds like me a couple of years back, too afraid to ask or act on anything, since I was too afraid my perfect bubble could be burst. The events in my life over the last 2 years however show me that it won't work that way. And although I feel that I remain a romantic in this sense, I feel I stepped away from it a bit more to try to experience more. Although I think at heart I still rather have the happily ever after feeling, I forced myself to not just hold on to that and get out there.

    On the putting feelings away, again totally hitting the nail on the head a couple of years back, and obviously still having issues with it. I kind of refuse however to just accept the fact that it will always be like that. I accept that I might be HIQ and that that come with certain tendencies. I do not want to blame the stuff that is not working out on this characteristic and just stop at that. Since that simply won't help me to achieve anything. I don't want to victimize myself. That for me connects to the quote. I want to read accept it and move on, and not accept it and feel sorry for myself, since that is what a lot of people tend to do when they hear something like that.

    On the water and pesticides part, I try to drink a lot of water everyday. A lot of tap water however, which in my country is supposedly pretty clean. (Although there have been some stories about higher estrogen levels, which wouldn't help with in conquering ED/libido related issues.) And yeah I try to eat as healthy as possible, sometimes as a student that is somewhat harder however, budget wise. Some holds for the tap water issue.

    By the way I might seem a bit hostile towards you, I am not, I really appreciate the time and effort you put into replying in here. I just feel not sugarcoating my response makes it all clearer. If you want to ask me anything, please do so as well!
     
  3. 90days

    90days New Member

    People change, we all do. Very few people stay how i described before, because its rather like the first stadium of HIQ over sentimental life. I'd tell you something anyway : victimising is not the issue, since no HIQ will really be in the victimising position (except some social and ethnic categories ) . No one would ever complain your suffering, that would be meaningless. The problem for HIQ is rather being able to overcome their inability, their paralysis and getting ahead, live their life. In fact, i think, (but i'm not really sure), that each HIQ have a kind of epiphany in a moment or another of their life, and this is the moment of change. Mine was, for instance, the reading of the Phenomelogy of the Spirit by Hegel and the rediscovering of spirituality. I've now ceased to reject feeling, but i'm accepting them, for the sack of truth (still having issues too - of course) .

    And for the budget part, you should learn how to cook- if you don't. It saves A LOT of money, up to 50% sometimes.

    Hey man, I've vowed myself to truth, a honest person can't be hostile. ;)
     
  4. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Haha I love to cook, so that's not the issue.. ;)
     
  5. Goon

    Goon Guest

    Congratulations on soon reaching 260 days!
     
  6. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Changed it up a bit, but thanks! :)
     
  7. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Hey man! How're you doing? Are you noticing any emotional/mental changes this deeply into your reboot?
     
  8. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Doing ok, had some ED issues the last two times I ended up in bed with a girl, but this really was due to alcohol consumption that night as well. Apart from that I have been somewhat less strict with myself when it came to MO and such.. Since the last ED thingy I switched back to all the way-mode.

    Emotionally and mentally I have had some changes over the last month or so, but I guess that is really due to the beautiful weather here in Europe at the moment and me just finishing my thesis for uni (so less stress).
     
  9. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Day 256-260

    So have been living a bit healthier the last couple of days and started to try to do some running every other day. Really want complete abstinence from MO at the moment, since I have been a bit disappointed with my progress over the last couple of weeks, plus I found that it is hard to set a max to it.
     
  10. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Day 261-265

    Have been partying the last three days, ran into a friend of a friend of mine the first day and ended up at her place. But ED... (again a lot of alcohol was in play.)
    The girl was actually really cool though and had a nice time talking and just hanging out. The staying away from MOing is not giving me any problems, which is good :)

    The problem right now is that I feel I'm plateauing, because I'm not sure about my progress at the moment. Again feel kinda lost on how to proceed.
     
  11. Barneybarn

    Barneybarn Reboot and rewire!

    Hey Veni,
    I know how you feel, keep in mind that the whole reboot is a non-linear process with an upward tendency. You will get where you want to be if you stick with the programe. How far are you with rewiring?
    Reboot and rewire,
    Barn
     
  12. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Ey mate,
    Yeah don't really have a clue. I mean over the last couple of weeks/months I have been hooking up with quite a lot of girls, most of whom I did not really care about after. So yeah there is that rewiring part, although most of the time alcohol infused. I have not however found this one girl I spend a lot of time with and closely rewiring to. So hard to say to be honest.
     
  13. 90days

    90days New Member

    Was passing by, and i saw you topic was updated. Sorry for you, man, but i think you should consider stopping alcohol (at all) - as i did - sincerily, it only feels better.
     
  14. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    I'm afraid that won't happen to be honest. Apart from that I will try to live healthier on other aspects of life. Exercise, nutrition, etc.
     
  15. Barneybarn

    Barneybarn Reboot and rewire!

    I can relate, in my personal and also in my professional (after-work hangout) alcohol just flows....
    I am deliberately the designated driver on some occasions to cut back consumption
    R&R,
    Barn
     
  16. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Don't have my license, so it's hard for me to be the designated driver.. ;)
     
  17. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Day 266-286

    So have been on holiday during the last period. Which was just relaxing by the pool with my parents, so not much to comment on that. Last week I was a coach for the introduction week of students. So a week of drinking and little sleeping. The final night I ended up with a girl, she came back to mine, but all I wanted to do was just cuddle and sleep, since I was just simply exhausted. The one thing I did feel however was that even though I was drunk I still kept thinking even while just making out with the girl. It is really hard for me to let go apparently, which I feel really sucks.
     
  18. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    I will continue here: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15246.0
     

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