You can never fit in a description 100%. That's pretty normal. However, let me doubt about your lack of self-hate. In most people this is deeply buried. Even if you have caring parents that helped you and loved you, you had a wonderful life, and so on, in a certain way you will despite yourself. You can, of course, not even be aware of it. In fact, very few people enter in a full self-destructive part. Most remain on the low self-esteem mood. About the girlfriend part, i guessed you are a part of the "overwhelming feelings guys", which i'm a part too : you always though that in a certain point you will meet and girl and be happily ever after (and lot of sex too?). Am i wrong? Actually, reading back you diary it seems you're really in that part of the HIQ. I think you try to rationalise all your feelings to make them fit in a nice clear box and refuse to take them as they are. Some objections? About the endocrine system, i think you're just fucked up as every HIQ. I've talked to a ex-president of my European Country Mensa last night, and he told me that he thinks the should drink huge amount of water and stay over-fit (which generally HIQ are not) . The point of drinking is water is about cleaning kidneys and liver . But anyway ,as he told me, pay attention, you HAVE to drink either source tapped water (not shit like aquasana ) or heavily filtered in the good way (not boiled, nor reverse osmose and all the shit), because in fact we have a overdeveloped limbic and endocrine system (he is a biologist), and we need to protect it from pesticides, synthesized hormones detritus and anything possible . He also taught me that we should be always at 100% of DRI of vitamines and minerals as much as possible (avoid dietary supplements as much as possible). Anyway, he used a sentence that deeply touched me - this is a rather gross translation : " Guess what : you have a singular problem,you overlive everything you do. Now, you have only to embrace and accept it, and life this life, because this is your life."