I'm currently in my mid-40s. I first watched porn about three decades ago when I snuck into my brother's room and watched a VHS tape he had stashed. I beat up on myself a lot over the years for taking that course of action but now in all honesty can admit that if I had to do all over again - as a 13 year old and not as a middle-aged, wiser man - I would probably take the same course of action as I was innocently overcome with curiousity, sexual lust and lack of positive guidance during the most formative years of my youth. I've been passively fighting against porn addiction for the past 20 years and actively engaged in the struggle for about three years now since I had a borderline-suicidal ED episode, and whereas the whole situation was embarassing and disheartening in hindsight I'm sort of glad it happened because actually forming a serious relationship or even worst getting that chick pregnant would have been disastrous as I've since learned that she's basically a bitch. I first came across this site about 2 1/2 years ago when the distress of that disappointment was still fresh. It was very difficult at first, as I suffered flatlines and saw basically no signs of improvement for months. I had streaks of abstinence here and there but nothing that exceeded two weeks, and even a streak of that length was rare. Then things really changed when I found myself in a situation where I was staying with some guys and no longer spending the bulk of my residential time alone. Under such circumstances, especially with handheld devices, you can still PMO if you want to, but being that I had been engaged in the struggle for so long I saw this situation as a blessing in disguise and used it to go on some relatively-longer streaks. Since then I've now once again found myself in a situation where I spend most of my time alone. At first PMO wasn't really an issue, and I would say it still doesn't have the grip on me its had in the past, but sometimes I slip, and in fact currently I'm sliding, which is why I've decided to come back to this site. For three consecutive nights the P has claimed my integrity, and my plan is when the temptation strikes again to come straight to this forum since others have said that strategy works for them. I tried the same strategy in the past - around the time I first came to this site - and failed miserably, but this time I'm banking on the disciplinary progress I've made thus far in the journey helping me through, as in I'm not starting from square-one. One positive thing I would like to end this introductory post with is that these days I can achieve a full hardon looking at P without even touching myself! I know my enthusiasm may sound comical, but around the time I first came to this site I could look at P and not get any reaction at all, not even sometimes when using my hand. So those streaks, even though you may break them at times, do positively accumulate, but for the sake of your self-image you shouldn't break the streaks. In fact my presence here right now is largely the result of a feeling of guilt not against a wife or a girlfriend but myself and my God, who despite being forgiving I feel is disappointed in me. I don't have a steady woman in my life and now realize more than ever that disciplining yourself not to engage in any sexual activity as a remedy to overcome PMO addiction is ambitious but perhaps unwise as we were made to screw, otherwise the P would have never gotten a hold on us in the first place, and sometimes I think guys on here don't see results because they don't engage in any activity at all. I just want to say to all the people out there struggling with no progress not to give up, because as far as I'm concerned mine is a success story even if I still have a ways to go.