Strength & Patenice

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Remember2Fight, May 10, 2018.

  1. Remember2Fight

    Remember2Fight New Member

    Hi guys,

    I am almost 25 years . I have been stuck with watching this SHIT called femdom for 5 years. But I have been fantasizing about it since the age of 5 !!!!! I still do not know why ?! I will not to go into any further details in the misery right now.

    I relapse twice a week on average . I had three long streaks during these years {2 months , 3 months , 5 months}
    Now I can not go more than 2 weeks , I still did not figure out what I am doing wrong , but I WILL.
    The Problem with me in the weekends where there is a plenty of free time, so I need to create new habits to fill this free time before the urges to watch the SHIT attack me again. I think it is also really important to BELIEVE that this SHIT could be ended , because deep inside I do not think I believe that :( .
    I am really happy that there is a community like this to fight this evil together.

    # I will definitely end this.
  2. BuddhaPunkRobotMonk

    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk Administrator Staff Member

    Hi Remember2Fight,

    Your journey sounds a bit like mine. I started fantasizing around age 5 too, even though I never got into femdom.

    I agree that filling up your times on weekends will help. Get out of the house. Socialize. Spend some time in nature. Play a sport with others. Be so busy you don't have time to think of porn.

    You may think you don't believe you can end it deep down inside of you, but I believe you do. Otherwise, how could you have gone 5 months? Remember what that time felt like, how you lived without porn. What did you do during that time that might be helpful this time around?

    Hope this helps. Wish you the best with your reboot, and please keep us updated.
  3. Remember2Fight

    Remember2Fight New Member

    #Day 3

    I do not really think that rebooting is all about how many days you keep yourself away from PMO , but it 's more about how you deeply feel about it ? Are you still accept it in your life or you finally realize the amount of damage that PMO affecting you and then you completely reject it from your life. Number of days is may be just some sort of measurement for our progress but it's not always accurate.

    Thanks atthewmammothrept for your reply .
    Your reply absolutely helps and gives me some confidence that I can do it again.
    The problem with femdom is the humiliation you feel when you watch this SHIT.
    It's really self destructive.I have no idea why I started fantasizing about it at this young age!!!

    I am still figuring out how I managed these long streaks , I may have a clue but still not sure so let's leave this for another post.
    # I will definitely end this.
    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk likes this.
  4. BuddhaPunkRobotMonk

    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk Administrator Staff Member

    Glad to help Remember. As for the humiliation, that's part of the journey. Forgive yourself for it. It's in the past, let it go. It has no power over you anymore unless you give it some. Meditation can help immensely in fostering this kind of attitude.

    Wish you the best!
  5. Remember2Fight

    Remember2Fight New Member

    #Day 10

    I hadn't got any strong urges yet , just some ideas to watch SHIT again , although I kept myself busy till now so I am fine.

    I am trying to find a good substitute for facebook and TV. What kind of activities that can be done when I am mentally exhausted ? as FB and TV are usually not good sources for our journey.

    I have not tried to meditate before.
    Can it be done for 10 or 15 minutes only everyday ?

    # I will definitely end this.
  6. BuddhaPunkRobotMonk

    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk Administrator Staff Member

    Reading has always been my go to activity when I feel exhausted and need to take my mind off of things. Other options are going for a walk, or doing something constructive with your hands, such as gardening or crafting.

    Your sessions can be as long or as short as you need them to be. The important thing is to sit down and make a habit of it. 15 minutes I find is enough time to "settle" the mind down and get a few minutes of really good meditation in.
  7. Remember2Fight

    Remember2Fight New Member

    #Day 15

    Unfortunately I am getting bad urges for PMO right now .
    I really want to end this agony , but my brain still can not forget the hundreds of times watching P.
    Wish me luck , guys .

    # I will definitely end this.
  8. Remember2Fight

    Remember2Fight New Member

    #Day 16

    I managed to hold myself yesterday. I just need to pass safely this weekend , because usually I fail around this two weeks.
    Let's beat this.
    I must remind myself constantly how bad this for me and how much it is hurting me. I just need to pass these few weeks and the urges will be much weaker.

    # I will definitely end this.
  9. Remember2Fight

    Remember2Fight New Member

    I have not logged my progress for a while.
    Unfortunately I relapsed a couple of times during this period.
    But I back on track .

    #Day 15

    I am clean for 2 weeks now.
    There is a new I have developed to fight this addiction , it often helps.
    Whenever I imagine a prostitute in my mind I just imagine it (not her it's not a human) with all kinks of disgusting instincts all over it until I feel I am gonna throw up :D .
    It helped me many times , it is not the magical solution but surely it's an effective one.

    # I will definitely end this.
  10. Remember2Fight

    Remember2Fight New Member

    Unfortunately I relapsed multiple times during this last month.
    I still can not past 3 weeks. And Writing to this forum does not give much help as I thought.

    I am trying to link thinking of that shit with throwing up.
    But I think I need to physically throw up , not just in my mind.
    Does anybody tried this or something similar ?
    Thanks guys :)
  11. Remember2Fight

    Remember2Fight New Member

    Good News !!!!
    I managed to stay away from PMO for 1 month.
    That's because I almost work 24/7 , so I have no time to do anything else.
    This heavy load of working won't last for so long , so I need to prepare myself for that time.
    Anyway , I am happy with this current result :) .

    The annoying thing that I am too sad and feel like my heart is being squeezed because I had a fight with a girl that I like talking to.
    I expressed how badly I felt because of a specific behavior from her and she apologized , but never had a smooth talk with her since then.
    The problem is not with her.The problem is with myself.I feel like my heart is (((((physically))))) get broken every time I see her.
    I want to feel normally , but still I can't. And the worst part that I don't know what to do !!!!
    All of this comes with tons of work to do :( .

  12. Remember2Fight

    Remember2Fight New Member

    8 weeks of no PMO.
    That's really great.But I don't feel good. I don't feel free yet.
    Why am I still feel attached to that SHIT ?

  13. Remember2Fight

    Remember2Fight New Member

    10 weeks of no PMO ;)
    I am really getting better. I still need to be fully alerted for any bad temptations.
    Currently I am trying to be a better person in life and do things which I couldn't do because of that SHIT.

    Brit_91_kd likes this.
  14. Remember2Fight

    Remember2Fight New Member

    80 days without PMO !

    However it is still not easy for me to stop thinking about porn videos I have watched in the past.
    My goal is whatever thoughts come to my mind .... whatever bad feelings come to my heart , I will NEVER watch any porn related pics/videos.
    Currently, I am building the habit of working out , and I am making a slight progress ;).
    I hope all of you are making a slight progress in this struggle and in your lives.

  15. Un-easy

    Un-easy New Member


    Are you still extremely busy working like before?

    I have noticed it works for me too, at least until weekends...
  16. Remember2Fight

    Remember2Fight New Member

    86 days without PMO!

    Thanks 'Un-easy' for your support.
    I am not extremely busy right now during weekends. I am very busy only in week days, but I have some spare time in the weekends.
    I was very busy 24/7 for the first 8 weeks of this streak.
    Yes , being busy for the first month in crucial , as it is really hard to fight back the urges in the first month.
    Right now, I got urges to PMO in weekends but now I CAN fight back unlike the first few weeks.
    Working out helps a lot too.

  17. Remember2Fight

    Remember2Fight New Member

    100 days without PMO!

    This is second time I reach this number in the last 5 years.
    So I am proud of myself :D

    I still get some urges and thoughts of going back to PMO , but I am shutting my door and let them out.
    I am associating the thoughts and urges to PMO with throwing up. It works for multiple times.

    Brit_91_kd likes this.
  18. Remember2Fight

    Remember2Fight New Member

    6 months without watching P !!!

    This is my longest streak.

    I MO'ed sometimes as I remembered some videos I watched before , but it still manageable and not so frequent.

    I keep reminding myself that watching only one pic will through me again to hell.

    Keep fighting , guys :)

    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk likes this.

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