Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Dwight Williams, Apr 25, 2019.
Keeping my eyes on pure things.
When I quit porn I did not stay strong. I was committed, but not strong. I could not be strong. When I quit every day felt like I was dying. So, rather than try and be strong, I simply accepted the concept that if I had to feel like dying every day, even it was for the rest of my life, I would feel that rather than go back to porn consumption, aka dopamine highs. I accepted the pain, and did not try to avoid it, which made living with the pain easier, almost like it was a companion. In some ways I even tried to increase it, such as binging on caffeine while super anxious. I told myself I did not care if it made it hurt more. I embraced the pain. A long time ago I gave some advice to newbies. Amongst the advice was "learn to love withdrawals." We cannot, really, do that, but accepting them, surrendering to them, helped me get clean. Good news: It goes away after a while. Seriously. Done right, you only feel like you are dying for around 90-120 days, and toward the end of that period, you start to have a lot of relatively painless days. Don't try and avoid the pain; the pain is evidence you are staying clean.
Will I AM.
Stay strong...stay sober. A few thoughts on keeping track of days sober..... I used to be big into the day count thing....I respect it greatly and my hat is truly off to those with a large accumulation of days, but for me, I think it wound up developing complacency after a good number of days. I'd start to feel like I'm really getting my act together and then would not as actively be 'working' recovery. Then...bam....a slip. Please know I'm NOT trying to be discouraging...quite the opposite...do what works for you...but for me, with a history of still slipping after 15 years of being in 'recovery mode', I must now think of it in terms of EVERY DAY BEING DAY ONE. For me, I know deep down that if I'm not actively working recovery, I'm probably working addiction.
I agree with @WilliamOneAndDone
" One can learn something from a rainstorm.
During a rainstorm, one typically tries to not get wet.
You will duck under covers and thick tree branches with the hope to remain somewhat dry. Yet, one still gets wet.
Next time there is a rainstorm, be resolved from the beginning; you will be still be soaked, but not perplexed.
This understanding applies to everything in life.
You must study this repetitively. "
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