Starting over, Sept 8th 2013.

Re: Keeping it real.

Hey Zed,

Thank you for your last post. I really can connect with the feelings and thoughts expressed, and it is inspiring to me ...

Hope you are doing well ... Take care!

Bodhi

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Zed - Wow... you're posts are quite inspiring to me. I recently reset after about day 38 or so.... although, as I look back, my reset was predetermined as well. I was without PMO but still heavily dabbling in hooking up with old connections, obsessing over xgfs, MOing, looking, lusting and trying to get physical sex wherever and whenever I could.

I like what you posted here as I can relate to it perfectly!

While I didn't have the drug use, I did have everything else in excess that you listed there. "floundering" is a good word to describe it too!

Stay strong and thank you for your inspiration again!

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Thanks guys, always good to come back to some messages here, always appreciated.

All is well in my world, in fact all is ridiculously fucking good. Been hanging with my 90 year old gramps the last couple of days, and my 88 year old Gran today in her dementia nursing home, having a right old laugh, good chats, manic episodes (her not me), and some beautiful meditation time together. I didn't realise how much I love her until today. My heart is bursting with it.

Came back home to a yoga session and then a group Buddhist meditation evening, and then a long hangout with a woman I've been getting to know through friends, magnificently beautiful inside and out. Started with a few of us going for drinks after sitting, and then just us two staying behind for more and we just rolled along wonderfully. It's been in the air a while, and this was the first time we'd spent time just the two of us. She's something else. I'm meeting her on Sunday for lunch and a walk.

What a day.

 

Re: Keeping it real.

She's a lucky lady to have met the New You.

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Great to hear man. Surf that wave.

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Not surprising. The timing seems good for you. Hope it goes well for you mate.

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Thanks fellas, feeling the love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GS_t1lu2c4s

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Have fun today with your friend, Zed.

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Great to hear things are well.

Thanks for the music! Lovely

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Yes, Zed. More great stuff you are sharing with us.

Thanks

 

Re: Keeping it real.

A lovely day today, with therapy for my knee, playing with my friends' baby, and then heading to a new friend's house for her to go through my yoga moves in readiness for the operation and to generally tidy up my practice, and a nice long dinner after. Several hours in the presence of a really beautiful woman, open and honest and deep, full of love and wisdom, having a real laugh and talking about all matters of life and heart, sober and filled up with real curiosity and care. Makes me doubly aware of the huge disparity between the depiction of women in p - the truth of how beautiful and deep a woman can be if perceived clearly and truthfully, and the obscenity of the lies peddled by the producers of the p industry - what a bunch of fucking morons they are.

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Also just worked out that today would have been my 100th day pmo free if I hadn't slipped. It was just a few times, so I'm taking it as kind of a big deal still, and I'm adding the counter to my signature as I want to be reminded that I'm doing good in terms of effort made, as well as in terms of how I feel.

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Yeah, with the spread sheet analogy, you'd be doing quite well. 100 days with three blips.

Your tastes for music is quite varied. This last one was nice and soul filled. I imagine it speaks to what state you are in. Porn ain't got nothing compared to where you're at Z. Go deep my man.

 

Re: Keeping it real.

This is good stuff. That's the kind of experience that I want to get to. Perceiving women clearly and truthfully.

Thanks, Zed.

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Aye aye fellows, hope all is well out there.

Things are moving along here. I'm having urges but they're not sticking around and eventually they wither under my current resolution not to go back, even though it has been a close call sometimes.

I'm good. Fitter, happier, more productive!

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oNb7DwiklZg

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Great report Zed, this is very good news.

Great resolution. Happy you are fitter and happier and more productive. Those three are key.

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Good trombone sounds there. 30 is around the corner dude! hope all is well.

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Great to hear man. I've had a few stray urges but keeping them pushed out. Glad to hear you are as well.

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Thanks guys.

Back from a great few days in Paris with my dad and really feeling the joys of spring here and the movement of new growth abounding.

Good trombone sounds all round here for the most part as I find myself falling for, and being fallen for by, a magnificently beautiful woman in a way that hasn't happened to me for 20 years, or perhaps ever really, considering how young I was when this occurred last time. Her exquisite self just shines out of her physical beauty and I find myself having nothing to hide from her. Feeling very lucky right now. We finally kissed yesterday just before I went in for my knee operation and then spent the evening and night together and it could not have been better. Amazing sex made all the better for not having a cock previously self-thrashed to within an inch of existence.

So I'm on crutches now, still a bit doped up from the general anaesthetic, hoping I'll be able to get back into the yoga in a short while, though the doctor says it'll likely be three months, which is almost unthinkable right now considering how much my daily practice has transformed my life, but we'll see.

I'm planning on using the time to really get back into the meditation again as a daily practice and have a good cluster of great therapist friends and acquaintances well tooled up in acupuncture, cranial sacral therapy and massage to help me through and get back, not to mention a wonderful yoga teacher friend who has already started the work on aligning my postures and stuff for when I can do some basic stuff again. Much opportunity lies in the next few weeks.

Porn is still there on the horizon, but looking outside at the deep blue sky and hearing the birds singing why on earth would I even go near it? Off to meditate in the park and beam some love out into the world.

 

Re: Keeping it real.

Agreed. Absolutely no reason to go anywhere near it. Great report, Zed. Good luck with the knee healing.